Chapter 567 - 557: Surpassing the Limit

[Kiba side]

Issei-kun had emerged from that blinding light, effortlessly blowing away the Trihexa split body that had been threatening to burn us to cinders, and wiping out hordes of evil beasts with a single flick of his wrist.

Under normal circumstances, you'd look at that and think: Ah, the hero has finally arrived to save the day. After all, heroes are always fashionably late. Even if his power-up took a ridiculously long time, he was currently radiating enough reliability to power a small continent.

Except... there was one tiny, catastrophic problem.

"OPPAAAAAAAIIIIIIII—!"

Issei-kun roared at the top of his lungs. Yes, the very first words uttered by our triumphant savior—upon stepping out of a divine transformation array to rescue his comrades—were not a rallying cry, not an inquiry about our safety, but simply: Oppai.

He put every ounce of his soul into that single word. Honestly, I don't think I've ever heard someone say "oppai" with that level of profound, spiritual resonance.

Yeah, I should have known. From the moment Ignis suggested that absurd proposal, I had a feeling this is where we'd end up. Taking a deep, stabilizing breath, I stared straight at Issei-kun and opened my mouth.

Screaming at the top of my lungs like this probably isn't very "Yuto Kiba," but please understand my position. I am standing on a battlefield on the brink of total destruction, forced to listen to the exact moment our ultimate climax turns into a complete farce. Character dignity be damned—I have no choice left.

"Why?! Why is your very first word... 'OPPAI'?!?"

I screamed it! From the absolute depths of my soul! Voicing the exact thought every single person on this battlefield was currently screaming in their heads!

"You're the Oppai Dragon, sure, but there's a line! Couldn't you have struck a cooler pose first?!"

My desperate retort, however, was met with total silence.

Issei-kun wasn't even listening. He was clenching and unclenching his fists, opening and closing his hands as if testing out the sheer weight of his newly acquired strength. Could it be that his power-up was so profound it had completely drowned out my voice?

Just then, Azazel-sensei dropped down beside me, letting out a long, weary sigh before looking directly at Issei.

"Hey, Issei... you're currently replaying the exact tactile sensation of breasts in your head right now, aren't you?"

"Eh!?"

Azazel-sensei's casual accusation made my jaw drop. I snapped my gaze back to Issei-kun's face.

He had the most impossibly lecherous, blissed-out expression imaginable!

So those hand gestures weren't him testing his combat parameters at all! He was mentally cataloging the texture of every single goddess and peerage member's chest he had just spent the last hour "interacting" with!

This is awful! This is beyond redemption! We were saved by a guy whose combat power is currently fueled by fondling memories! Where is the dignity? Where is the epic weight of a legendary battle?!

Even Valkyrie, looking completely done with everything, narrowed her eyes at our master and muttered:

"Issei-sama really is... an ultra-perverted oppai bastard."

That is not the look a loyal familiar should give her lord! That is the look you reserve for garbage floating in a stagnant pond!

Of course, that level of utter disdain didn't even scratch Issei-kun's armor right now.

"...Man, it was great... they were so soft... everyone's oppai..."

He muttered like a man wandering through a waking dream, his fingers twitching rhythmically in empty air.

Azazel-sensei pressed a hand against his forehead, groaning. "Tell me, is this thing even usable? Isn't the afterglow of breasts lasting a bit too long here?"

It might genuinely not be usable, I thought. Has Issei-kun been completely hollowed out by the "Breast Banquet"? A cold sweat broke out on my neck.

Azazel-sensei called out to him again, exasperated. "Hey, Issei! Basking in the afterglow of dairy is all well and fine, but you did actually power up, right? The rest of us burned through half our stamina just stalling while you were busy... well, honestly, an hour is way too long. What the hell were you even doing in there?"

Finally snapping back to reality, Issei blinked and turned his head. "Eh? Has it really been that long? Ignis said time flows differently inside the barrier..."

"What? It's been over an hour out here! Seriously, what were you doing? Were you making children in there?!"

"...!"

"Hey, why are you suddenly silent? Don't tell me you actually—"

"I-I didn't! I mean, I would have loved to if we weren't in the middle of a literal apocalypse, but... I was just being cute and affectionate with everyone, okay?!"

He didn't even deny doing things!

Valkyrie crossed her arms, fixing him with a stare. "What about Alice-sama and the others?"

"They'll probably come out in a bit. Ignis is currently... handling the post-match cleanup."

"Post-match cleanup?"

"...Yeah. Post-match cleanup."

Issei nodded with a face as pale as a sheet of parchment. Is that... is that safe? No, judging by the fact that he looks like he's stared into the abyss, it definitely is not safe. I've decided right now that I am never going to ask what Ignis-san is doing to them.

Coughing loudly to clear the suffocating atmosphere, Issei puffed out his chest.

"W-Well, regardless! I should probably get going. Right now, I'm probably the only one who can go toe-to-toe with that guy head-on."

Azazel-sensei nodded gravely. "Do it. We'll hold off the rest of these freaks as best as we can. But don't drag this out too long..."

"I know."

With that, Issei-kun turned his back to us and started walking. Far across the ruined earth, Ashem was still casually toying with the various pantheons of gods, his oppressive presence dominating the horizon.

"———I'm going to put a stop to him. For good."

The moment those words left his lips, Issei vanished from our sight. A split-second later, a shockwave of incomprehensible magnitude exploded far across the distance.

[Ashem side out]

▽

Chunks of the earth were hurled miles into the upper atmosphere, followed seconds later by a torrential rain of massive boulders crashing back down like a meteor shower.

I had tried to open our exchange by smashing Ashem right out of the sky and straight into the bedrock, but it seems a direct hit didn't quite land. The bastard managed to throw up a defensive magic array just a microsecond before my fist connected, though judging by the shockwave that blew his clothes back, he couldn't nullify the kinetic impact entirely.

Ashem dusted off his coat, looking up at me with a bright, genuinely delighted smile.

"You're back on your feet again, aren't you? And stronger than before, no less. That flash of light on the other side of the battlefield... that was you, I presume?"

"You bet it was! Powered by everyone's... oppai!"

"Pfft—!"

Ashem instantly spat out whatever composure he had left, bursting into laughter.

You know, sometimes I feel like if I just kept playing this straight as a comedy sketch, I could defeat him purely by making him laugh so hard he pulls a muscle. The guy was literally clutching his stomach.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Ashem chuckled, "As expected of the Oppai Dragon... bringing up breasts at the absolute climax of world history! Truly, that is the only way this could go. Ah, I can't wait until this is broadcasted on television!"

Please no. Especially since what went down in that barrier was dangerously close to an R-18 rating. The network complaints would be astronomical.

Actually, thinking about it now brings back the exact expressions and textures from the 'Breast Banquet'—ahem, ahem! Let's lock that drawer of my memory tightly away for now. I can thoroughly replay that mental footage later... when the world isn't ending!

"R-Red Dragon Emperor..."

I looked over my shoulder. One of the Norse warriors, completely beaten to a pulp by Ashem just moments ago, was trying to stand. All around us, the surviving pantheons—led by old man Odin and his remaining elite guard—were staring fixedly at me.

I gave them a reassuring nod. "You guys go help Azazel-sensei and the others. I'll handle this punk."

"N-No...!-- That's suicide! You can't possibly fight a monster like that all by yourself—!"

The warrior tried to raise his sword to stop me, but I ignored him, lowered my stance, and roared across the crater at Ashem.

"Bring it on!"

With a deafening boom, I kicked off the earth and launched myself forward. Ashem vanished into a streak of stellar wind to meet me.

"Planning to change the location so you don't catch any bystanders in the crossfire?" Ashem's voice echoed as he matched my vector.

"Who knows? But that spot was way too cramped for two people of our caliber."

"Hah..."

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