Chapter 11: One Of Us Must Be Strong

••{RAYN’S POV}••

As Father leaves the throne room, I follow quietly after him, every beat of my heart thundering in my ears.

My gaze stays fixed on his back as we walk.

The words keep rising to the tip of my tongue... only to die there every single time.

Should I ask him?

Will he even listen?

Will he just tell me no?

My fingers begin to tremble at my sides. I curl them into tight fists, drawing in a slow breath as I try to steady myself.

If I don’t ask now... I never will.

I swallow the lump in my throat and finally gather the courage to speak.

"Father..."

He stops and glances over his shoulder.

"Rayn?"

His eyes soften when he sees the hesitation on my face. He turns fully to face me.

"What is the matter, son?" he asks.

I lower my gaze, gathering what little courage I have left before meeting his eyes again.

"I want to go," I say firmly.

A crease forms between his brows. "Go where?"

I take a step closer. "I want to join Ser Garrick and the others on their journey to Snowfall."

Father’s expression twists into a deep frown.

"No," he says, his voice sharp and cold. "Absolutely not."

Then he turns and continues walking down the corridor.

My heart sinks, but I refuse to let him walk away. I quicken my pace, stepping in front and forcing him to stop.

"Father, please," I say, my tone desperate. "Just hear me out."

"No!" He lashes out. "Rayn, you’re only fifteen years old. I refuse to throw you into a war between monsters."

"But father—"

"I won’t hear another word of this nonsense," he cuts me off.

For several heartbeats, I just stand there with my mouth hanging open, staring at him in utter silence.

As a sigh leaves his lips, Father’s gaze softens again, then crosses the space between us.

"I’ve already lost your mother," he says gently. "And now... your sister."

He rests his palm against my cheek, his emerald eyes searching mine for a moment.

"It would kill me if I lost you too," he whispers, then pulls away.

A faint smile touches his lips as he pats my shoulder, and before I can think of anything else to say, he steps aside and continues down the corridor.

After he disappears around the corner and his footsteps fade, the corridor falls painfully silent. But his words echo over and over inside my head.

It would kill me if I lost you too.

My heart begins to ache.

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe I’m just a child pretending I can change something far bigger than myself.

"Rayn!" Jesenya’s voice echoes through the corridors.

I turn to find my younger sister hurrying toward me.

She steps right in front of me, close enough that I can feel the tremble in her breath.

"What happened?" she asks, her gray eyes frantically searching mine. "Is the meeting over? What did they say?"

I bite on the inside of my lip for a few seconds before finally answering her.

"Our army can’t take the vampires alone, Jes," I say quietly. "Father wants to seek an alliance with a Lycan tribe far north, and Ser Garrick, Prince Alexei, and Lord Thorian have volunteered to embark on the journey."

For a few heartbeats, Jesenya stares at me in complete silence, and her expression seems stuck. As if she doesn’t know whether to be afraid or feel relieved.

And to be honest... I don’t blame her. But I force my lips into a smile and take her hands in mine.

"Everything’s going to be alright," I say softly.

Tears begin gathering in her eyes. "You don’t know that," she whispers.

The ache in my heart worsens.

She’s right.

I don’t.

"I miss Anna," she says.

"I miss her too," I say gently. "But Jes, you shouldn’t starve yourself."

Her brows furrow. "W–what are you talking about?"

"I know you haven’t eaten once since Anna was abducted," I answer. "Jes, you can’t keep doing that."

"I’m not hungry," she murmurs, shaking her head.

"If Anna were here she wouldn’t want you to go hungry because of her," I say firmly. "In fact she’d scold you."

"Don’t talk about her as if she’s gone!" Jesenya snaps, ripping her hands free from mine.

"I’m not," I say quickly, reaching for her hands again and giving them a gentle squeeze. "Jes, we’re going to get her back."

Tears begin to roll down her cheeks as her lips quiver.

"I..." she trials off, averting her gaze. "I keep getting this feeling," she whispers.

"What feeling?" I ask, my brows slowly knitting together.

"That—that something bad has happened to her," Jesenya answers, her voice trembling.

My shoulders sag. "Jes..."

Her chest begins rising and falling fast and her breaths come in sharp pants.

"Last night I dreamed of her," she whispers. "I saw her crying for us, Rayn. I saw blood everywhere. I tried to reach her but I couldn’t get to her."

I open my mouth to say something but suddenly Jesenya’s falling. I catch her before she can hit the floor.

She quickly wraps her arms around my shoulders, clinging to my clothes as if she’s drowning and I’m the only thing keeping her above the surface.

"It’s going to be all right," I say firmly. "Anna will be coming home."

Her whole body shakes as she sobs into my chest. I hold her tight, gently rubbing my palm up and down her back.

My eyes sting with tears but I don’t let myself cry.

I can’t.

We can’t both be falling apart at the same time. One of us has to be strong for the other.

So I keep my voice steady and continue murmuring softly into her ear, "It’s going to be, Jes. Anna will come home to us."