Chapter 45: A physical need.

Those words pushed Soren to the edge. He caught her wrists and pinned her hands above her head.

"Say that again," he growled, his voice low and rough.

The fire in his eyes made her confidence falter. She trembled beneath him, twisting her wrists against his hold in an attempt to free herself.

"Soren, you are hurting me. Let me go."

"Let you go?" Soren grumbled. "You think you can threaten me to leave whenever you are upset? You are my wife, Elowen. You are mine. And tonight, I want you to remember that."

His hands gripped her hips, his fingers digging into her skin as he pressed his body fully against hers.

The air between them was heavy, charged with tension and unspoken longing.

Elowen could feel his desire in the rigid lines of his body. But he was holding it back.

His jaw remained clenched, and every muscle taut with restraint. He seemed to be fighting a battle within himself, struggling to keep his anger from overpowering his desire.

She could no longer tell where his longing ended, and his anger began.

He lowered his head to the hollow of her shoulder, his breathing hot.

"I want you."

She went still at the sudden change of his tone.

"Don’t push me away," he whispered. "I’m trying so hard to control myself, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep holding everything back."

His lips grazed her throat. "Please..."

Elowen shuddered.

"If you push me away now, I don’t know what I’ll do." The commanding edge of his voice vanished, replaced by something raw and almost desperate.

Elowen stopped struggling beneath him all of a sudden.

It was the first time in seven years Soren asked her permission.

He had never asked whether she wanted him. He had always taken what he wanted, treating their intimacy as nothing more than a physical need.

There had been no tenderness, no affection, and certainly no consideration for her feelings.

But tonight, he was holding himself back. He was waiting for her to decide whether they should continue.

This realization hammered on the last layer of the wall she had created.

Despite everything he had done to break her heart, her body still responded to him. Every part of her craved him.

She hated how easily his closeness could stir feelings she had tried so hard to bury. And the pregnancy hormone made it even more impossible to resist.

Soren searched her face, his breathing uneven. When she neither struggled nor pushed him away, hope flickered in his eyes.

But he wasn’t sure. So he loosened his grip slightly, giving her the room to pull back.

"Tell me you want me." His voice shook with everything he was struggling to hold back. "Tell me you still have feelings for me."

Elowen couldn’t answer immediately. She didn’t know how to put the chaos inside her heart into words.

Yes, she wanted him. And maybe somewhere beneath all the hurt and resentment, her love for him hadn’t died entirely. But wanting him didn’t mean she had forgotten the pain he had caused her.

She hesitated.

Part of her told her to pull back. This could be nothing more than another physical need he was struggling to control. It was not affection.

He had never fallen in love with her in seven years. One night wouldn’t change his feelings.

But the other part of her, the one she had tried desperately to silence, wanted to hold on to him. It wanted to believe that he could love her the way she had always longed to be loved.

"Say you are mine," he rasped against her skin, his voice growing more desperate. "Always mine."

He didn’t give her time to respond. He leaned down, his mouth finding hers in a kiss that was anything but gentle.

The kiss was desperate and hungry, carrying the weight of longing he couldn’t put into words. It was as if his long-buried desire, regret, and unspoken emotions had collided between them.

His tongue swept against hers, claiming her with an intensity that made her heart stumble.

His hands were everywhere, tangling with her hair, tracing the curve of her spine, pulling her close to his chest as if he could merge her within him.

"Elowen. Say something... End this torture."

She could barely breathe from his overwhelming kiss. At that moment, she wanted to push her hesitation away and surrender to this moment. She wanted to feel his love, his passion, his madness—everything.

Perhaps she was being foolish. Maybe she would regret it when morning came. But tonight, she wanted to believe that the man holding her could be the husband she had always wished for.

After seven years of being treated with indifference and coldness, his unexpected tenderness was unbearable. She didn’t want this moment to end.

"Tell me you want this," he rasped.

His fingers traced the zip of her gown on her back.

Elowen wanted to stop him. The sensible part of her still warned her not to surrender to the man who had hurt her so deeply. Yet when he looked into his eyes, her resolve began to crumble.

Soren was looking at her as though she mattered, as though losing her could destroy him.

Instead of pushing him away, her arms slipped around his neck. She arched her back and whispered near his ear, "Be gentle."

That was what he had been waiting for.

All the restraint he had been fighting to maintain gave way to the intensity of that moment. His lips pressed against hers. Yet his hands remained careful, mindful of the tiny life growing inside her.

"Don’t be concerned," he whispered against her mouth. "I won’t hurt our child."

His fingers slowly drew the zipper down, and he helped her out of the gown.

The next few moments passed in a blur of hurried movements and lingering kisses.

Soren impatiently tugged at his tie and tossed it aside before shedding the rest of his clothes. Even in the haste, he kept returning to her, kissing her as though he couldn’t bear to go even a moment without touching her.

When she was fully undressed, Soren went still. His gaze traveled over her. He was looking at her as though he was seeing her for the first time.

He had shared a bed with her for years without even understanding how much of herself she had given to him or how much of herself she had lost trying to earn his affection.

Now, when he took time to look at her, he found her breathtaking. And the thought that he had almost lost her forever filled him with a fierce need to protect her.

His throat worked as he swallowed hard. His eyes lifted back to hers, darker now, burning with the heat that sent shivers throughout her body.

"You have no idea," he said, his voice barely audible, "no idea how much I missed you. You don’t know what I went through to come back to you."