How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 183
“Not a lot. Just a little.”
“Your voice sounds awfully bright for someone who’s having a hard time... Are you lying, by any chance?”
“Hah. Would we ever trick you?”
“You tricked me all the time when I was little. You’d always play on my sympathy to make me run your errands...”
“We did do that back then. Anyway, if you aren’t going to give us his number, ask him for us. I’m hanging up.”
“What? I told you no—”
Click.
Her oldest uncle had hung up the phone without even listening to her answer.
Boiling with frustration, Renka muttered.
“Hah... Unbelievable.”Acting so recklessly, he was exactly like Matsuda.
Was that why the three of them got along so well? Maybe.
“Ah, damn it...!”
Scratching her head vigorously, Renka flopped back onto her bed.
I’ll think about this tomorrow. Today, I just want to read manga in peace.
“What’s with those? Are you throwing them away?”
Carrying two ruined sets of Bogu—one in each hand—on my way to the storage room, I nodded at the Third Year sunbae-nim stretching in front of the Club Room.
“No. I’m sending them out for repairs.”
“Why? They look fine to me.”
“They’re old, and the insides are ruined. Someone could get hurt if they move wrong in them, so I’m sending them along while we’re getting the rest repaired.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Don’t use the equipment so recklessly.”
“I didn’t do anything. Tell the other kids that.”
“Aren’t you competing as the anchor in the team matches, sunbae-nim? If you’re the leader, shouldn’t you act like one and know how to embrace the faults of others?”
“Don’t you know what a throwaway anchor is?”
A “throwaway anchor” was a tactic that placed the strongest players at the front to score three points early, ending the match before the anchor even got a turn.
In Kendo team matches, it was standard practice to put forth the most reliable player on the team as the anchor.
However, there were rare occasions when this throwaway anchor tactic was used.
It was sometimes used to catch the opponent off guard when there was a large skill gap between their team and ours, but it was safe to say almost no team actually did this.
That sunbae-nim didn’t have any intention of doing so, either; he was merely throwing a joke at me.
“I’ll just throw you away right now.”
“Fuck off, you little shit.”
He waved his hand with a smiling face.
After exchanging a few more laughs and jokes with him, I arrived at the storage room and sorted the Bogu to be sent for repairs.
Later, while I was filling out the equipment ledger: “Junior, junior.”
Chinami, who had entered without making a sound, poked me in the back.
“Yes, Master.”
“I’m sorry I’m late. Renka wouldn’t let me go.”
“It’s fine. But what do you mean she wouldn’t let you go?”
“I meant it literally. I told her I had to work, but she said you would be fine on your own and suggested we go instruct the other juniors together.”
She tried to instigate a rebellion while her owner wasn’t looking?
What a completely wicked slave.
“That happened? Well, good thing you slipped away.”
“I couldn’t possibly leave you to do the work all by yourself. By the way... your handwriting is still terrible.”
Chinami said, glancing sideways at the equipment ledger.
I scratched the side of my head with my pen and shrugged.
“I’m trying, but it isn’t easy to fix.”
“It’s alright. I’m slowly getting used to your handwriting.”
How can our Chinami speak so kindly...?
The more she acts like this, the more I want to touch her.
“Mya...!? J-Junioh!”
Her cheeks suddenly squished together, Chinami mumbled through lips that were puckered like a goldfish’s.
She flailed her arms, trying to push me away, but the difference in our reach was so large she couldn’t touch me at all.
Eventually giving up her resistance, she stood still, submitting to my touch.
Pressing my palms against Chinami’s soft cheeks and squishing them this way and that, I asked,
“Shall we stay like this for a bit?”
“...Dho washever you wan.”
“Do whatever I want?”
“Yeth...”
My chest hurts.
It hurts because Chinami is just too cute.
Soothing my burning heart, I brought my lips to hers, which smelled sweet, as if she had eaten a peach.
Peck.
“Hmm!?”
She widened her eyes at the sudden action.
She had told me to do whatever I wanted, but she clearly hadn’t expected me to actually do something like this.
Admiring Chinami’s face as it instantly flushed pink like a ripe peach, I let go of her cheeks while she stood there sputtering and went back to filling out the equipment ledger.
My relationship with Chinami has developed by leaps and bounds, so I suppose it’s about time I squeeze my sluggish brain for ideas.
How can I naturally lead Chinami into a threesome?
It’s a day of deepening contemplation.
“Matsuda.”
Renka called out to me as I came out after changing my clothes.
Smirking at her incredibly blunt tone that carried just a hint of shyness, I answered.
“What is it?”
“Take this. It was a good read.”
She handed me a book wrapped in a Black Plastic Bag while glancing around, making it look like a drug deal.
Taking it from her, I asked,
“It was fun, right?”
“It was just... okay.”
“Is that it?”
“In the beginning, Asagao got into a fight with her husband and ran out in a fit of anger, right? Then she decided to make up with him and went to the supermarket to make delicious food, but...”
Renka rattled off her thoughts as if she had been waiting for this.
She broke down the story in surprising detail, explaining what she liked and what left her disappointed without pausing for breath. She had definitely prepared this in case I tried to pick a fight over it.
So transparent.
Since she’s showing some signs of voluntary submission, I’ll make a special exception and let it slide that she tried to tempt Chinami earlier.
“...That’s all. Satisfied?”
“Satisfied? Why are you asking me? As long as you, President, enjoyed reading it, that’s what matters.”
“Y-You’re the one who pushed me, asking if that was it...!”
“I pushed you? Didn’t I just ask?”
“...Y-Yesterday you said it would be nice to have someone to talk about it with...”
“I’m kidding. Don’t pout.”
“Who’s pouting...! Stop being so delusional...!”
“Okay, okay. Why are you raising your voice?”
Annoyed by my consistently smug attitude, Renka’s lips jutted out.
She’s even showing me this side of her. Have you gotten that comfortable with me?
Mm, yeah... I want to lick those lips that look like they’d taste like plum, then spray my seed inside.
Muttering weird things with a coy attitude while staring out the Club Room window, she suddenly called out to me.
“Hey.”
“Yeah.”
“I have one wish left... The deadline for that is almost up, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Could you postpone it a bit?”
“Suddenly?”
“...Well... do you remember my oldest and youngest uncles?”
Those entertaining twins who looked more terrifying than the yakuza but were genuinely good-natured at heart.
There was no way I couldn’t remember them.
“Of course I do.”
“They asked for help during winter break, so I was planning to take you with me.”
“Is that so? You want to use your last wish for that?”
“Basically...”
“Didn’t you tell me to look forward to your last wish? You said you were going to make me suffer.”
“Well, I mean... I can’t really think of anything, and they said their restaurant business isn’t doing too well either... Anyway, can you postpone it?”
Looking at the situation, those uncles must have called Renka to complain about how hard things are.
I don’t really mind, but do I have to shoot another cooking show?
If that’s the case, I should just stay over with Renka for a night while we’re there.
The Park there is pretty, so going for a walk at night would be quite atmospheric and nice.
“Well... sure, let’s do that.”
Was she surprised that I agreed so readily?
Renka’s eyes widened slightly.
“I-Is that really okay?”
“It’s admirable that you, President, are thinking about your family’s restaurant sales, and I want to see the uncles again after a while anyway... so I’ll make a special exception for you. But why that expression? Did you think I was going to pick a fight about it?”
“N-No...? You’re being delusional again?”
No, my ass... It’s written all over her face.
Letting out a small chuckle, I replied.
“Anyway, let’s go with that.”
“Okay... thanks. Ah, and... there’s one more thing I want to say.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“I’m really grateful that you’re doing me a favor, and I know I owe you. But I am using a wish. Right?”
“Right.”
“So don’t try to use this as an excuse to get something in return... Don’t do anything like that.”
I barely held back the laughter threatening to burst out of me.
It was hilarious seeing Renka walking on eggshells, worried I might use this as leverage to make her do something weird.
Renka is ripening up quite nicely, too. Very good.
“Understood.”
“...Really?”
I had no intention of asking for anything in return for this.
Because I was going to collect my payment through something else anyway.
“Should we pinky promise?”
“W-What pinky promise...! Forget it.”
She whipped her head away sharply when I tried to hold out my pinky.
The way the end of her tied-up ponytail swayed to the side was quite pretty.
While I was watching Renka bicker with me in a noticeably milder tone than usual, the door opened and Tetsuya stepped out, making my mood plummet instantly.
That motherfucker has a real knack for ruining the mood. I need to seriously fuck him over one of these days.
“What’s your blood type, Matsuda-kun? I’ll guess. It’s Type B, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So that’s why you’re so reckless.”
Miyuki joked in a playful tone.
I chuckled and replied.
“Are you so nosy because you’re Type O?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Is Bread Girl Type A since she’s so timid?”
At those words, Masako, who had been rustling her wrappers and eating bread in front of us, let out a sharp cough.
She chokes on her food just from being mentioned. I wonder if she’ll be like that when having sex, too?
That might not be so bad, surprisingly...?
I was passing the time making idle chatter with Miyuki when Tetsuya, who was sitting next to us, suddenly chimed into our conversation. My face twisted in deep annoyance.
“Guys, the blood type personality theory has no scientific basis. You shouldn’t believe it.”
Ugh... Motherfucker. Look at him ruining the fun.
This is why you’re a lost cause.
Do you think Miyuki actually blindly believes in the blood type personality theory like an idiot?
She’s just using it as a conversation starter to have an interesting chat.
If you just cut off the conversation like that, what do you think Miyuki will think?
Just an absolute loser with nothing but a childhood friend buff and flashbacks going for him...
I am so incredibly proud of you for steadily stacking up unlikable traits all by yourself.
Please, keep it up.
“What blood type corresponds to a psycho with a gloomy personality?”
At my blatant jab aimed directly at Tetsuya, Miyuki frowned and lightly smacked my arm.
Class began after that minor incident passed.
As if she really wanted me to get good grades on the final exams, Miyuki frequently asked me if there was anything I didn’t understand, even while she was listening to the lecture.
“Right here, this part is...”
Tucking the hair at the side of her face behind her ear, she explained everything to me item by item in great detail, until—
“Hanazawa. Save the tutoring for break time.”
She was noticed and called out by the teacher, and her face turning bright red as a result was just a bonus.
It was both funny and pretty seeing her hastily distance herself from my desk to focus on the class.
In particular, the sight of her balancing her mechanical pencil on her philtrum, sticking her lips out as she stared at the chalkboard, looked exactly like a painting.
Is this that moment from rom-coms where the male protagonist falls for the female lead?
Normally, it’s a cliché that pops up in the early chapters, but seeing it now doesn’t feel bad at all.
Perhaps feeling my gaze, Miyuki sat quietly with an embarrassed look on her face.
Then, reaching one hand out stealthily beneath her desk, she grabbed my hand and intertwined her fingers with mine.
We swung our arms back and forth in the empty space between our chairs.
It feels incredibly sweet. Is Miyuki thinking the same thing I am?
If only that loud-breathing Tetsuya wasn’t sitting right next to us, I would have thought this was a perfect rom-com where I was the main character... Once again, my disgust meter is filling up today.
And like that, break time arrived after the first period ended.
Wanting to bask in the sunlight on a day that was unseasonably warm for winter, I opened the window and noticed a large number of people coming and going across the school field.
People of all ages and genders were crossing the field and picking up pamphlets.
The vast majority were middle-aged adults who looked like parents.
Wondering what was going on, I asked Miyuki.
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