How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 223
"You're doing this on purpose...!"
"Think what you want."
Saying that, I propped my elbow on the armrest between us, leaned my whole body toward Renka, and rested my cheek against the back of my fist.
At that, Renka immediately started complaining again.
"Is this your armrest? Stop being such a nuisance."
"How can the middle armrest belong to just one of us? We're sharing it."
"How is this sharing...! I can't even use it..."
"Why not? I'm only using the back half. Just put your arm on the front."
"Hah... Fine. Just move your head. Don't cross over into my space."
"Stop being so childish.""You stop being so shameless."
"You smell nice."
"Wh-what...?"
Renka always panicked whenever I threw out random, out-of-context compliments like this.
It was the same now. Her glowing indigo eyes darted around as she struggled to figure out how to react.
Smiling at her honest reaction instead of replying, I turned my eyes back to the screen with my arm still propped on the armrest.
Just then, "Ahn...!"
A woman's coquettish voice echoed from the Screening Room's speakers.
Startled by the sound, Renka jolted, her mouth dropping open at the explicit sight of the man and woman on the screen.
The woman was straddling the man and energetically riding him, even resting one hand on his knee for balance.
It was a blatantly explicit scene: completely naked, breasts bouncing, and sweating profusely.
After staring blankly at the scene for a moment, Renka glared at me.
"Wh-what is this...?"
I was just as flustered.
I knew it was a romance movie with a mature rating, but I hadn't expected them to start fucking right from the beginning without any buildup at all.
Do they just bang first and then start the plot?
I should have watched a trailer or looked up some information online beforehand.
Feeling a bit embarrassed, I quickly replied.
"I don't know either."
"..."
"I know you don't believe me, but I really didn't know it would be like this."
Did she read the sheer bafflement etched on my face?
Renka fell silent and turned her eyes back toward the screen.
She must have felt my sincerity and decided to let it go.
Still, she wasn't acting coy by covering her eyes or anything.
It was an almost boringly calm reaction.
Feeling a twinge of disappointment, I pretended to focus on the movie while shifting my hips to press a little closer to Renka's side.
"It's... it's already so hard right here...! Please...!"
Speaking in a coaxing tone, the female lead slipped her hand toward the male lead's lower half.
Watching the impatient female lead, Renka adjusted her posture and cleared her throat.
"Ahem..."
It was funny how she did that whenever a provocative scene came on.
She was still properly focused on the movie, too. It seemed the story was to her taste.
Glancing at Renka, who swallowed hard and couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen, I reached toward the bucket of Popcorn she was holding.
Rustle.
"Eek...!?"
At that, Renka suddenly jumped in surprise for some reason.
It didn't seem like the sound of rustling Popcorn was what caused it...
I figured she must have noticed how close my body was pressed against hers.
Popping a piece of Popcorn into my mouth, I asked.
"What's wrong?"
"...You could have just asked for some Popcorn..."
"I asked several times, but you couldn't hear me because you were so focused on the movie."
"I-I was...? But when did we eat this much?"
"You ate it all, President. I haven't even touched it."
"M-me...?"
"I'm glad it's so entertaining that you didn't even realize it."
Renka suddenly smacked her lips.
She was trying to check if the lingering taste of caramel was still in her mouth.
Realizing that I was telling the truth, she let out an awkward cough and spoke.
"Shut up and just watch the movie."
"Should I hold the Popcorn?"
"Are you just planning to eat the rest?"
"I'm offering to hold it because you look uncomfortable. You really have a bad attitude."
"...Just move your head..."
"Why now?"
"You're too close..."
"Don't worry about such trivial things. I'm fine with it."
"Wh-what are you talking about...! I'm saying this because I'm not fine with it...! I don't care whether you're fine or not...!"
"If you don't care, then this should be fine too."
"That's not what I meant...! Haa... Never mind, forget it."
Did she think talking any longer would just make her angry?
Shaking her head, Renka stared back at the screen.
While we were bickering, the female lead was pushing herself onto the male lead even more aggressively.
The male lead, on the other hand, was looking troubled and trying to push her away.
"Um... wait a minute. I'm still..."
"We did it yesterday, so why are you backing out now...?"
"I was dead drunk back then..."
"Then should we drink like yesterday?"
"Why are you doing this to me..."
"I told you. I have a disease where I can't control my sex drive. Let's do it just one more time."
"This is driving me crazy... Fine. Let's drink first. But this is the absolute last time."
"Okay, thank you."
The movie's plot seemed to be spiraling into absolute absurdity.
I was trying to manage my rapidly cooling interest while watching the movie when the sound of Renka's heavy breathing reached my ears.
Was she identifying with the protagonist and getting turned on?
If so, then Renka was the one with the hipster tastes, not me.
When the movie reached its midpoint, the female lead delivered a strange line.
"Um... I'm sorry, but your face is too close... Could you back up a little...?"
Her lust-filled face was nowhere to be seen, and she was now acting like a proper lady in front of the man she liked.
Staring deeply at her, the male lead spoke.
"Should we... kiss?"
"....Yes."
Coincidentally, the movie was showing a scene very similar to when Renka had told me to move my head.
Renka must have had the same thought, because she was glancing over at me.
I couldn't possibly resist teasing her in a situation like this, could I?
With that in mind, I stared intently at Renka with a mischievous smile.
Then, dropping my voice into the deep baritone she liked, I mimicked the male lead's line.
"Should we... kiss?"
"Gah!?"
Clearly not expecting me to recite that exact line, Renka reacted violently.
Her gasp was so loud that the few other people in the Screening Room briefly turned to look in our direction.
Realizing she had caused a disturbance, Renka shrank down and lowered her voice.
"Y-you crazy bastard...! Go die...!"
"So we aren't kissing?"
"Why the fuck do you sound disappointed...! No, we're not...!"
"What's with the cursing..."
Did she think the curse she just spat out was a bit too vulgar?
Chewing on her lower lip, she softened her tone slightly.
"S-sorry about that... but you keep making me swear..."
"You could just get mad instead... Do you usually swear this much?"
"I almost never do normally...! This is all because of you..."
"It's going to become a habit at this rate."
Clicking my tongue and shaking my head, I grabbed a handful of the nearly finished Popcorn and ate it.
Then, I gestured toward the coffee on the outer armrest next to Renka, who was taking deep breaths to calm down.
"Give me a sip of your coffee."
"Why...? No. You have your cola."
"Hurry up."
"....Haa... Seriously, I've never met anyone so selfish..."
Grumbling, Renka flipped the coffee straw upside down and handed the cup to me.
I had expected her to open the plastic lid and give it to me, so this was surprising.
Was she implying that just flipping it over made it okay?
When I took a sip of the coffee and nodded, she pinched the straw with her index finger and thumb—carefully avoiding the spot my lips had touched—and flipped it right-side up again.
Watching her in silence, I thought about teasing her for sharing an indirect kiss but decided against it.
I had just pulled a pretty intense prank on her a moment ago, so I should hold back.
I tossed the few unpopped kernels left at the bottom of the Popcorn bucket into my mouth and crunched down on them.
At that, Renka looked at me like I was pathetic and whispered.
"You're going to break all your teeth doing that."
"They're strong, so it's fine."
"That's just a lack of safety awareness. It's hard corn. If you keep chewing like that, they might actually chip."
"Are you cursing me?"
"I'm just worried about you, and you're making a fuss..."
"I'm joking. I'll chew carefully."
"....Do whatever."
Grumbling as usual, Renka turned her eyes back to the screen.
It was too dark to see clearly, but her face was definitely flushed.
I could guarantee it. I had caught the slight tremble in her voice just now when she was worrying about me.
A warm soundtrack echoed through the Screening Room.
Half-watching the scene where the male and female leads shared a sweet kiss under a tree shedding autumn leaves, I listened to Renka clearing her throat and let the corners of my mouth rise.
"Honestly, it makes no sense. What kind of incurable disease makes you feel horny every single hour of every day?"
Renka said this as we left the Screening Room and headed for the elevator.
To think she was criticizing it like this now after being so absorbed in it earlier... She was incredibly shameless.
Throwing the Popcorn bucket, which now only held unpopped kernels, into the trash, I replied.
"Isn't there such a thing as hypersexuality?"
"That doesn't make you constantly horny. Plus, that's treatable."
"Just think of it as creative liberty. You enjoyed watching it, so stop being coy..."
"It was entertaining. I'm just saying it would have been better if they fleshed out the premise a bit more."
"What score would you give it?"
"By my standards?"
"Yeah. Out of ten."
"Hmm... I guess around a 7."
"That's a pretty generous score coming from our strict President."
Renka scoffed at my words.
"Strict, my foot... What score were you expecting me to say?"
"A 5?"
"Why?"
"Because you just criticized the premise. But since you seemed to enjoy the movie itself, I figured a 5 would be appropriate."
"That's a fair point. But there are other factors, too. Like the actors' performances..."
"The sex scenes were definitely well-acted."
"N-not that kind of acting, the acting for the characters themselves...! You ignorant jerk!"
Renka scolded me, her face flushing crimson in an instant.
She seemed to have been startled by my explicit choice of words.
"Isn't that included in character acting, too?"
"No... I mean... the overall... yeah, I meant the overall acting...! And tone down your language a bit...! Don't be so blunt...!"
"How should I tone it down?"
"There are pretty expressions like 'love scene,' or even normal ones like 'bed scene'...!"
"What do you expect me to do when I'm so ignorant, just like you said, and lack the vocabulary?"
"Are you being sarcastic with me right now?"
"If that's how you heard it, President, then I suppose so."
"Stop playing word games, will you? It's annoying."
Staring at Renka acting all prim and proper with her arms crossed, I wordlessly took a long stride toward her.
Flinching, Renka stepped back to match my stride.
"Wh-what are you doing...? Get away from me..."
Her reaction was far more intense than usual.
Playing that kiss prank earlier must have left her emotional state a bit muddled.
Watching Renka backpedal like she'd seen a ghost until her back hit the corridor wall, I closed the distance until I was right in front of her and put on a serious expression.
"President."
"....What...!"
"Why are you acting like this lately?"
"Like what...!"
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