How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 238
“Hello.”
“Yeah.”
“Greet me properly.”
“...Hello.”
“Good. You did well.”
“Don’t treat me like a puppy.”
“Sure.”
After bickering with Renka as usual, I headed to the cafe with her. The moment we arrived, she clocked in and stepped into the Changing Room to swap into her uniform. I followed her inside as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Just as she opened her mouth to spit out a curse, I pulled out a piece of candy.
“I’m giving you candy today.”
Renka froze and took a half-step back. She looked determined not to eat it this time... but Renka was still Renka. Completely ignoring her ridiculous streak of rebellion, I took a long stride toward her.“Say ah.”
“N-no... You’re going to do something weird.”
“What weird thing?”
“Like yesterday...”
“I won’t.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Then don’t believe me. Say ah.”
“I won’t!”
“Do it.”
“Don’t talk down to— Mm!”
Renka gasped, her retort cut off as I pressed the piece of candy firmly against her lips. She clamped her mouth shut, glaring at me with defiant eyes, but just like last time, she eventually yielded. She parted her lips and accepted the candy I forced inside.
She only ever listened when I resorted to this. When would she willingly open her mouth and beg, ‘Please give me some candy’? We still had a long way to go. Clicking my tongue, I gently stroked her cheek as she rolled the hard candy around in her mouth. She flinched, shooting me a fierce glare.
“You bastard! You promised you wouldn’t do anything weird!”
“Is this weird?”
“Of course it is! A psycho like you might not think so, but any normal person definitely would!”
Psycho? That was a bit harsh. This was exactly why I needed to step up the intensity of her training.
“Is that so? Then let’s just say I suddenly feel like doing it.”
“Y-You lunatic!”
At this point, her curses sounded like words of gratitude to my ears.
“You cleared your schedule, right?”
As I casually changed the subject, Renka mumbled around the candy before answering reluctantly.
“...I cleared it.”
“Good.”
“Did you book the movie tickets?”
“Yep.”
“What movie is it? Is it some weird adult movie like last time?”
“Nothing like that. I booked a normal one this time.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe.”
“Stop doubting me.”
“You have a track record. How can I not?”
“Just finish changing and come out.”
“Then get out.”
I agreed and obediently stepped out of the Changing Room. When Renka finally emerged in her uniform, I offered her a bright smile.
“What are you grinning at?”
She was acting awfully feisty right now, but we’d see if she could keep that attitude up tonight. I dismissed her little display of rebellion with a scoff, then stepped into the Changing Room to change my own clothes.
. . .
“Is this really a normal movie?”
That evening, Renka asked that question as she compared our tickets to the movie poster hanging on the wall of the downtown theater. I held our queue ticket for the School Store, feigning complete ignorance as I waited for our number to be called.
“Why do you ask?”
“I mean... look at the poster. It’s supposed to be a romance movie, so why are they slapping each other in the face?”
“It might be a story where they start off hating each other but gradually open their hearts.”
“That doesn’t explain why the male and female leads are covered in so many bruises.”
“I guess they hate each other enough to get into fistfights.”
“That’s not exactly normal.”
“That’s why it’s a movie. It includes comedy as well as romance, so a little slapstick makes sense.”
“I guess...?”
She studied the poster with deep suspicion before slowly nodding.
“Well... I suppose it’s possible.”
“Exactly. You mentioned the regular Popcorn at this theater tastes terrible, right? Should we get caramel?”
“Yeah.”
“And for your drink?”
“A sugar bubble tea.”
“Seems like you’ve been eating a lot of sweets lately.”
“That’s because you stress me out.”
“My apologies.”
“I know you aren’t sorry at all. Cut the act.”
“But I am.”
“No, you aren’t.”
We kept bickering as we picked up our Popcorn and drinks, and soon it was time for the movie to start. We walked into the Screening Room side by side and found our reserved seats. The theater was already practically empty, but we were seated in the deepest, most isolated corner.
“Do we really have to sit all the way back here? I know it’s your preference, but... it’s just so gloomy.”
She actually remembered that I preferred these types of seats. I should buy a plug with a cat tail to reward her.
“If you hate it, go sit in the middle.”
“Maybe I will.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
“If you’re just going to threaten me, why say it like you’re doing me a favor?”
“Why are you being so cranky today?”
“You’re the one making me this way.”
“Are you blaming me again?”
“I’m not blaming you, I’m just stating the facts.”
Renka turned her head with a huff, glancing around the Screening Room before tilting her head in confusion.
“What the...? Did this movie get bad reviews or something?”
“Why?”
“It’s time for the movie to start, but there’s barely anyone here. Those few people in the middle are the only ones.”
“Isn’t that just because it’s been out for a while?”
“The poster said it released two weeks ago. Plus, it’s prime time right now.”
“Fair point.”
“If this movie sucks, you’re dead.”
It was an utterly empty threat. I simply chuckled in response, then nodded down toward her arm resting on the armrest between us.
“Move your arm.”
“No way. I claimed it first, so it’s mine.”
“How childish.”
“You’re the childish one for obsessing over an armre— Eek?!”
Renka had been snapping back at me, determined not to lose the argument, but she suddenly let out a breathless squeak. I had reached over her arm and forcefully intertwined my fingers with hers. She completely lost her train of thought at the bold contact. As I watched her panic, my thumb gently stroked the knuckles of her own thumb.
Every time my fingertips traced from the back of her hand, sliding past the first knuckle, then the middle, and finally the tip of her thumb, her entire body twitched. She jolted as if she were getting zapped by static electricity. Suppressing a smirk, I spoke with utter calm.
“If you don’t want to move, we can just stay like this.”
“I-I’ll move!”
“No. The President’s hand is soft, so I’m going to just stay like this.”
“Hey...! This is...”
“Be quiet.”
My voice dropped into a frigid, commanding tone, completely different from my teasing banter a moment ago. Renka gulped, immediately clamping her mouth shut. A satisfied smile crept onto my lips. As the lights in the Screening Room dimmed and the distributor’s logo appeared, I gestured toward the screen with my chin.
“Now keep quiet and watch the movie.”
“I will, but... your hand...”
“Quiet.”
“But...”
“I said quiet.”
“...”
I firmly cut her off, scolding her with a harsh tone. She bit her lower lip and finally turned her eyes to the screen. If she truly hated my touch, she would have thrashed around and wrenched her hand free by any means necessary. But seeing as she only put up a half-hearted token of resistance before giving up, she obviously wasn’t totally opposed to it.
So, I watched the movie with my fingers wrapped snugly around Renka’s hand. About five minutes in, her palm was already slick with sweat. She was clearly incredibly tense.
The light spilling from the screen gave me a perfect view of exactly what Renka was doing. She kept squirming in her seat, stealing nervous glances my way. It didn’t look like she was paying attention to the movie at all.
I kept my eyes forward, pretending to be absorbed in the film while softly rubbing her hand. The moment a long, heavy sigh escaped her nose, I turned my head and whispered.
“Are you uncomfortable?”
“O-Of course I am... It’s hard to eat the Popcorn with you doing this...”
“Just put the bucket between your legs and eat it.”
“That makes my posture uncomfortable too...”
“Alright.”
It wouldn’t do to ignore her when she was acting like such a timid maiden. I nodded and obediently let go of her hand.
“...”
Renka let out a long sigh—I couldn’t tell if it was from relief or disappointment—and wiped her sweaty hand with a tissue. She then sank deep into her seat’s backrest, taking slow, deep breaths.
We weren’t even finished yet. She shouldn’t be letting her guard down so soon. I cast a sidelong glance at her as she relaxed, foolishly thinking she was off the hook. Without a word, I pushed up the armrest separating us.
I completely ignored the confused, suspicious, and downright anxious glare Renka shot at me. Shifting my hips, I slid over until I was pressed flush against her side. Then, I casually stretched my arm across the top of her shoulders, resting it right against the back of her seat.
“Eek—?!”
Was the feeling of my arm brushing against her shoulder and the nape of her neck that startling? Renka let out a bizarre squeak, her entire body going rigid. Taking full advantage of her frozen state, I wrapped my arm securely around her shoulders. With my fingers, I began to softly massage her slender neck, applying gentle pressure as I slowly rubbed back and forth.
“Ah...! Hnn...!”
A strange, breathy moan slipped from her lips. Only then did I turn my head to look at her. I gave her a gentle smile and eased my grip on her neck.
“Is it easier to eat now?”
“Wh-What...?”
“The Popcorn.”
“What kind of nonsense— Hyaah...!”
My fingertips lightly tickled the thin, sensitive skin between her neck and collarbone. Renka tried to glare at me, but her face instantly scrunched up instead, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
“Hnn...!”
Realizing her voice had been quite loud, she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. She curled into herself, terrified that the few people in the theater might look our way. I smiled warmly at her unguarded, helpless reaction, continuing to caress her skin as it grew hotter beneath my fingertips.
“Haa...”
Soon enough, a totally exhausted moan spilled from Renka’s lips. She was shivering as if suffering from a nasty fever. I couldn’t help but marvel at how ridiculously sensitive she was to a simple touch.
Once Renka adapted to this unfamiliar physical contact, she was going to unleash a barrage of curses at me. But unfortunately for her, I had absolutely no intention of stopping here. Just as she tried to scrape together some semblance of reason, I would move on to the next step. By the end of this, she wouldn’t have the slightest clue what this movie was actually about.
I couldn’t go any further just yet. If I rushed things now, the tower of trust and dominance I had carefully built up would come crashing down—maybe not completely, but enough to cause a setback.
The movie had only just started. We had plenty of time. I just needed to be patient and gradually dial up the intensity. That approach perfectly suited Renka’s personality anyway.
Breathing in her sweet, intoxicating scent of blueberries, I carefully monitored her condition while pulling her body even closer against mine. At that, the hazy glaze over Renka’s eyes finally cleared, and she wrinkled her lovely brow.
“Hey...! What the hell do you think you’re...”
Moments like this—when her defiance started to flare back up—were the perfect time to push one step further. My mind made up, I simply locked eyes with her just as she was about to explode.
Renka always had a hard time handling my direct gaze, yet at the same time, she secretly loved it. It was the perfect weapon for a situation like this, and exactly as I expected, it worked flawlessly.
“Hk...!”
Her expression immediately crumbled into utter helplessness, and her mouth snapped shut. Timing it perfectly, I dug the tip of my middle finger firmly into the hollow above her collarbone.
“Hyaa...!”
Renka’s body convulsed violently. She jerked so hard that the bucket of Popcorn jumped, spilling a cascade of pieces across the floor.
I flashed a dark, meaningful smile at her dramatic reaction. Then, I casually turned my gaze back to the screen, patiently waiting for her to grow accustomed to my touch all over again.
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