How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 250
“I’m home...”
At Renka’s exhausted greeting, her mother looked up from her embroidery in the living room, sounding puzzled.
“What’s wrong with your voice? Did something happen?”
Something had indeed happened. Nothing strictly work-related, of course, but something highly personal. Still, it wasn’t the sort of matter she could ever confess to her parents. The mere thought of it was far too embarrassing.
“No... I’m just unusually tired today. We had a lot of customers...”
“Is that so? Are you going to be alright for work tomorrow?”
“Of course I am...”
“That junior of yours who drives you around... Matsuda Ken, was it?”
Renka’s eyebrow twitched at the sound of his name.
“Yeah, Matsuda Ken. Why bring him up...?”“Why else? I want to thank him for always giving you a ride. Did he enjoy the sandwich from last time? If he liked it, I should make him another one.”
Thank him?! Absolutely not. If Matsuda realized her mother favored him, his harassment might only escalate. Well, ‘harassment’ wasn’t quite the right word for his steamy, touchy behavior, but she had a strong feeling he would use her mother’s approval as an excuse to grope her even more.
“He said it was good, but... you really don’t need to go out of your way to thank a guy like him...”
“Is that any way to talk about a close junior of yours?”
“W-Who said we were close...!”
“So you’re telling me someone you aren’t close with drives all the way here every single day to pick you up?”
“...I mean, sure, we’re a little friendly... but we aren’t that close yet... We just happen to work at the same place and live nearby, so he gives me a ride since it’s on the way...”
‘Yet’... Was that even true anymore? They were already plenty close, it seemed. But Matsuda wasn’t around to hear her, so it was fine.
“Even so, he’s still doing you a favor.”
“I guess, but... anyway, no. It’d just make him uncomfortable.”
“Would it?”
“Of course. He’s the kind of guy who’d be thrilled if you just tossed him a sandwich, so making him one in the morning should be more than enough.”
“Tossed him... Mind your language, young lady.”
Renka flinched. The sudden scolding sounded oddly reminiscent of Matsuda.
Had his demonic influence already reached this far? As his annoyingly handsome face flashed in her mind, Renka shook her head vigorously. Her mother stared at her erratic movements in total bewilderment, prompting Renka to flash an awkward smile.
“Sorry... I’m going to my room.”
“Alright.”
Once back in her room, the first thing Renka did wasn’t take a shower, but open the AnyShare app. Taking her stress out on Matsuda over the internet had quickly become one of her greatest joys in life.
Since he didn’t know Ino-chan’s true identity, she could insult him as much as she wanted without any fear of retaliation. It was incredibly refreshing. Plus, MK was always surprisingly receptive to whatever Ino-chan threw at him, which made it genuinely fun.
[MK.]
Several minutes passed, but no reply came. He definitely would have gotten the notification. Was he taking a shower? For a guy who lived entirely on a whim, he was pointlessly clean... She would make sure to repay him with curses for making her wait.
Just as she was plotting her revenge, a message popped up: [What now?]
MK’s reply arrived, carrying a distinct hint of annoyance. Was he tired of her? Had she been too rude? No, surely not. He’d have to be incredibly petty to get upset over something so small.
[I don’t like your tone.]
[Ino-chan.]
[Yes?]
[You keep messing with me. It makes me want to meet you in person.]
[And do what? Fight me?]
[No. Train you. I want to handcuff your arms and legs and whip you until you’re sobbing and begging for forgiveness.]
Renka’s body flushed hot the moment she read that explicit message. She instantly pictured it: Matsuda dragging her to a hotel and doing exactly that.
Just imagining his deadpan expression as he whipped her made her skin prickle. Was this why he had asked her about staying out and spending the night today? To do that to her?
‘No...’
That couldn’t be it. As much of a pervert as Matsuda was, would he really go that far? But given everything he’d done to her so far, he just might...
Regardless, she absolutely was not spending the night with him. His wicked intentions were completely out in the open, and she’d have to be crazy to agree knowing what he wanted. He could try to persuade her for a hundred days straight; she wouldn’t cave.
[Exactly what I’d expect from Trash.]
[Shut up. I’m busy, so let’s end this pointless conversation here.]
[Why are you busy? Are you going to masturbate or something?]
[Yes.]
Wait, really? Was he actually going to do it? Her eyes widened as she frantically typed on her phone.
[Are you serious?]
[Want me to send a picture?]
The moment she read MK’s message, her mind flooded with curiosity. Matsuda’s member...? She was genuinely curious. What did it look like? It had to be utterly grotesque, right?
Him talking about his genitals suddenly brought back memories of yesterday. Not only had he blown his breath directly onto her breasts, but his hands had wandered lower.
He hadn’t touched her skin directly, but his fingers had crept over her panties, stroking and teasing her most sensitive spot. Overwhelmed by a pleasure she had never experienced in her life, she had squirted like some vulgar woman.
It was so humiliating... She had tried to wipe it from her memory, but just thinking about it now made her face burn. Her body tingled, too—and not in a bad way.
The funniest part was that she hadn’t even minded Matsuda touching her without permission. Were her feelings for him really that strong?
Just a month or two ago, she had absolutely loathed him. The fact that those feelings had completely vanished felt absurd. They had just faded naturally, before she even realized it. That was the most baffling part of all.
“Haa... Ah...!?”
Renka gasped, startling herself as a hot breath slipped past her lips. Had she... just gotten turned on imagining Matsuda’s face and his touch? No, absolutely not. She was just reacting out of sheer embarrassment.
[Ugh... I’ll just report you because I’m sure it looks disgusting.]
[Then you shouldn’t have brought up masturbating in the first place. I have to watch porn now, so I’m logging off.]
[Trash.]
Even after her insult, no reply came. Normally, he’d snap back with something, so his complete silence meant he really was going to masturbate.
But why so suddenly? What was the reason? Had he gotten turned on while touching her today...? Did that mean his material for the deed was... her?
‘N-No way... right?’
Gulp.
Renka swallowed hard. She expected to feel completely disgusted, but surprisingly, she didn’t mind. That alone was bewildering. Normally, something like that should have made her shudder in revulsion.
‘Should I... call him...?’
She wasn’t even sure if he’d pick up. Holding that thought, she moved her finger toward the phone icon.
“...”
Her breathing grew ragged, completely unnoticed by her as she debated the decision in her head.
Bzzzt!
The screen suddenly changed, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when the name [Trash Matsuda] flashed before her eyes.
“Hyaa...!”
What was his intention, calling her right after saying he was going to masturbate? Was he planning to... touch himself while listening to her voice? How was she supposed to react? Should she play dumb? Or just scream a barrage of curses at him?
After rapidly cycling through her options, she carefully pressed the answer button.
“H-Hello...?”
“What are you doing?”
If he was actually doing that, his tone would be either strained or breathless... but he sounded completely calm. It was the perfect opening to turn the question around, so Renka cleared her throat and replied.
“Just lying in bed... What are you doing?”
“You’re finally keeping the conversation going.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Every time I ask what you’re doing, you just give short answers. Isn’t this the first time you’ve ever asked me back?”
Was it? Now that he mentioned it, she only remembered replying to him with sullen, clipped responses, so he was probably right.
“Whatever... I asked what you’re doing.”
“Watching TV at home.”
Listening closely, she could definitely hear the television in the background. Laughter filtered through the speaker, so he seemed to be watching some sort of comedy program.
“Really...?”
“Yeah.”
“What program?”
“I don’t really know. I called you, President, while flipping through channels.”
“The guide menu shows the name.”
“Does the name matter? It says Kyabekuri.”
Kyabekuri was a wholesome variety show where comedians and guests did different segments. Well, wholesome was a stretch given the language they sometimes used, but it definitely wasn’t erotic. Did that mean Matsuda had just been lying to mess with Ino-chan? What a bastard.
“So what...”
“Did you just say ‘so what’?”
“...I did.”
“Even though you’re the one who asked.”
“W-What...? What did you say...? ‘You’re the one’...?”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you so rude...!”
“I’m still more polite than you, President. Anyway, you know what you have to do tomorrow, right?”
“What do you mean...?”
“Did you forget what I said again?”
What had Matsuda said again? He had told her to wear a skirt shorter than the one she wore today. He must be talking about that.
“As you well know, what you say isn’t exactly a high priority to me...”
“So, you forgot?”
“Does it really matter?”
“You sound like you’re itching to be punished.”
“P-Punished...? Do you think I’m your daughter...? What, are you going to scold me...?”
It was a slip of the tongue. Phrasing it like that made it sound like she was admitting she’d done something wrong. And ‘daughter’... what a weird comparison to make.
“Hmm... I’m going to have to scold you a lot.”
See? Matsuda’s voice had already shifted to sound practically giddy. She could clearly picture him chewing her out the second he saw her tomorrow.
“Whatever...”
“Have you thought about spending the night?”
“Don’t cross the line. I’m absolutely not doing that.”
“I’ll ask you again tomorrow.”
“D-Do whatever you want. No matter what you say...”
“You won’t fall for it, President?”
“...”
“Change your repertoire. It’s getting too predictable.”
This was the first time she had ever had such an intense and provocative conversation with a man, so what did he expect? Swallowing those words, Renka gave a small cough.
“Shut up. I’m hanging up if you’re done.”
“I’m not done yet.”
“...What now?”
“Are you wearing pajamas right now?”
“No...? I don’t really wear pajamas.”
“Then do you sleep in your underwear?”
“W-What are you talking about...! I wear a comfortable t-shirt and pants...! I’m hanging up...!”
Snapping at him, Renka quickly mashed the end call button. Then she let out an angry sigh.
She didn’t know why Matsuda always spouted such frivolous nonsense. He would be so much cooler if he took things seriously. But then again, that would probably be boring... so maybe keeping things as they were wasn’t so bad.
‘Spending the night...’
If they did spend the night together, would they go back to that prison-like love hotel? To the place where Matsuda had locked her in a cage? Just the thought of it was awful... or was it?
The first time it happened, she had been thoroughly repulsed, but now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe it felt this way because they had grown so much closer since then.
No cosplay, no confinement, no collars... If they were just going to hang out and watch TV together, it might actually be nice. The problem was that Matsuda had absolutely no intention of doing anything so innocent.
Renka reached up toward the ceiling and spread her five fingers. Staring half-lidded at the bright light bulb through the gaps in her fingers, she wasted a little more time before finally jumping up to head to the shower.
But as soon as she spotted the wardrobe next to her door, she stopped.
‘What should I wear... tomorrow...?’
She needed to pick something that Matsuda would like... No, something he would hate.
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