How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 285
Bzzzzz—!
Roused from sleep by the loud vibration ringing right next to my ear, I blindly groped around and grabbed my Cell Phone. Squinting at the screen with sleep-heavy eyes, I saw Renka was calling. She hadn't forgotten my request to wake me up. A good slave, as always.
Pressing the answer button with limp fingers, I brought the Cell Phone to my ear.
"Hello..."
"Ah..."
Why a gasp instead of the wake-up call I asked for? She must have liked the sound of my sleep-heavy, gravelly voice. I could easily picture the shy look on Renka's face right now.
"...Wake up, Trash."
Getting cursed out by her first thing in the morning actually put me in a good mood.
"What time is it?"
"Eight o'clock...""Why did you wake me up so early?"
"Y-You told me to wake you up in the morning!"
"Why are you getting mad?"
"What... are you seriously asking? You asked me to wake you up, and now you're complaining, so of course I'm mad...!"
"Wake me up again in an hour. And for talking back to me just now, I'll be collecting full payment today."
"What...? You crazy..."
I hung up before she could spit out more curses like yesterday, rubbed my eyes, and sat up. Looking around the empty, spacious living room completely killed my mood.
Dragging my sluggish body up, I walked to the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of water, and chugged it. The cold liquid hitting my stomach jolted my nerves awake.
"Haa..."
Letting out a refreshed sigh, I was about to go laze around on the mattress again, but I changed my mind and called Renka back.
"What...!"
Was she still in bed? She answered fast.
"Do you have anything to do right now?"
"No."
"Then instead of waking me up at nine, let's just meet then."
"What...? We agreed to meet at noon. I was going to go work out..."
"What kind of workout?"
"Running."
"In this cold weather?"
"You warm up after five minutes of running, so it doesn't matter."
"Instead of doing that, how about we work out indoors together?"
"You mean at a gym? A day pass is expensive, though...?"
"Not a gym. Somewhere else."
"Where else? Like a public recreation center? Ah..."
Renka gasped, as if suddenly realizing something. She stammered in a fluster, then let out an angry snort... Displaying a full gradient of emotions, she finally cursed.
"You son of a bitch...!"
She had caught onto my intentions. Maybe because of what happened yesterday, Renka's perverted imagination was working overtime today.
"Why are you cursing? What did I do wrong?"
"You... dirty..."
I understood her frustration. She wanted to call me out while I played dumb, but since I hadn't explicitly mentioned a Hotel, she couldn't. Chuckling at the sound of her seething anger, I spoke up.
"I'll wash up and head out now."
"What...!? I never said I'd meet you!"
"Come out by nine."
"W-Wait! I need to wash up first too...! I take a long time to get ready...!"
"Then I'll make it nine-twenty. No complaints, right?"
"F-Fine... Haa... How annoying."
"See you then."
Click.
She hung up on me without answering. She was really asking for it. I'd have to give her lots and lots of affection when we met. Just in case, should I bring the cat tail plug? No. She hadn't even gotten used to bare-handed spankings yet; it was too early to introduce tools like that.
Renka walked out of her house at exactly nine-twenty. Her outfit today was coordinated in black. I liked that mustang jacket she wore last time. The black jeans hugging her long legs stood out, as did the rather high-heeled long boots below them.
Clack.
Wearing a sullen expression, Renka opened the passenger door and planted herself in the seat.
I've always thought the best complementary color for a woman wearing an all-black outfit is red. I didn't mean mixing in red clothing, but rather the color of her lip tint or lipstick. And Renka's lips hit my tastes perfectly.
Beneath her pale, powdered face lay glossy red lips, paired with slightly upturned eyeliner... I liked it a lot. As I stared intently at Renka, who looked even sexier than usual today—
"What are you staring at? It's annoying."
I grinned at her as she grumbled like always.
"Because you're pretty."
"S-Shut up...! I don't want to hear compliments from Trash like you...!"
Pretending to hate it when she actually loved it. She had an unapproachable vibe, but in front of me, she was a deeply affectionate tsundere. That gap turned me on incredibly. Should I suggest we do it right here in the car?
"Keep your eyes down...!"
"Don't use such strong words..."
"Don't use manga quotes in real life...!"
I hadn't even finished the sentence, yet like a true otaku, she knew exactly who the quote belonged to. Finding Renka cute as she flared up in anger—the complete opposite of her icy image—I pulled out the candy I had prepared.
"Hk...!"
Seeing her flinch and lean back the moment she saw the candy in my hand sent blood rushing down south. Had I developed some weird fetish? What was wrong with me?
"Why the sour face? Don't you want the candy?"
"I-It's not that I don't want it..."
"Then what?"
"...Forget it. Give it here."
"Were you waiting for it that badly?"
"What are you talking about...! Just hand it over so I can eat it and get it over with...!"
Ignoring Renka's yapping, I tore off the wrapper and held the candy up to her lips. She muttered something under her breath, then carefully opened her mouth.
Slipping the candy inside, I timed it perfectly to slide my thumb in right as her lips closed.
"Mmph..."
A muffled moan slipped out of Renka as she unwittingly swallowed my finger. Perhaps expecting this, she didn't put up much of a fight. She just furrowed her brow, clearly displeased that we were doing this in a place like a car.
As I sat motionless, staring at her with profound eyes, Renka realized what I wanted and brushed my thumb with her tongue. At first, she tapped it tentatively to test the waters, but soon she pushed the candy into her cheek, gently wrapped her tongue around my thumb, and began to lightly suck on it as if it were the candy.
The sensation of my finger rolling around inside her damp, warm mouth of her own volition felt absolutely amazing.
"Mmph...!"
Renka shot me a look that seemed to say, Is this enough? I smiled brightly, pulled my thumb out of her mouth, and pressed down firmly on her lower lip as I withdrew it. Then, I finished off our little physical exchange by popping that same finger—now faintly smelling of toothpaste—into my own mouth.
"D-Don't do that...!"
Renka's cheeks flushed bright red in an instant. Her embarrassment, breaking right through her makeup, was so... rom-com like. Of course, the actual process wasn't a rom-com, but rather the training genre.
"Hey...! I told you not to do that!"
Unable to overlook my blatant act any longer, Renka reached out, grabbed my wrist, and yanked it toward her. Then, pulling a small pack of wet wipes from her handbag, she began to aggressively scrub my thumb.
"You crazy bastard...! Die...!"
Seeing her scrub with the wet wipe as if she were trying to bleach my skin, it felt like she was casting a curse on me. I imagined Renka in a dark, cramped room, pinning down a voodoo doll of me—the guy who constantly nitpicked her every move—and hammering nails into it with a wicked smile... It was subtly turning me on. Maybe I really did need to see a doctor.
Renka's eyes sparkled brilliantly as she looked at the figures displayed in the store. It felt like just yesterday she was acting like she didn't know anything about manga because she was so desperate not to get caught. Now, she wasn't even trying to hide her tastes, despite me standing right next to her. Since she'd been found out, she must have decided to just give up and enjoy it.
"Which manga is this character from?"
"You're too loud. Be quiet."
"Can't I even talk to you?"
"I need to check if the finish is good, so shut up."
"It's obviously a complex character. Are you really checking every single detail?"
"Yeah."
"Can't you just look up reviews online?"
"These are all handmade, and a lot of places won't count paint defects as a product defect. You have to check it thoroughly when you have the chance. So now..."
"Got it. I'll shut up."
"..."
Did she feel guilty about speaking so coldly? Renka, who had kept her eyes glued to the figures, straightened up and looked at me.
"This just... requires some focus right now..."
"And?"
"...I'm just saying..."
It seemed she was worried I'd find an excuse to retaliate. When I gave an acknowledging reply to her cute plea for forgiveness, Renka relaxed. She carefully inspected the boxed figure for a while longer before calling the clerk.
"Excuse me. Can I buy this right now?"
Bewitched by Renka's beauty, the clerk hurried over, looked at the figure she was pointing to, and eagerly nodded.
"Yes, you can. Would you like it?"
"Yes."
She was buying a 24,000-yen figure without a second thought? Impressive. Renka's house definitely had a lot of figures far more expensive than this one. I'd heard that this kind of fan devotion burned through a massive amount of cash, and now I felt like I somewhat understood it.
After handing the money to the excessively friendly clerk and receiving the shopping bag containing the Figure Box, Renka's mood clearly improved as the corners of her mouth curled up. It must have been a hard-to-find item... It was nice to see.
"Ah."
She walked toward me with a goofy grin before her expression suddenly hardened. Judging by the short gasp she just let out, she seemed embarrassed about unintentionally showing me such a defenseless side.
"Are you going to look around more?"
Flashing her a meaningful smile, I asked the question. Renka cleared her throat and shook her head.
"No... Ah, right. Hey."
"What."
"You're participating in the Kendo tournament, right?"
"Why bring up Kendo all of a sudden?"
"It's not all of a sudden... We've been talking about it. And the director called me yesterday. He said he'll be making calls soon to check if anyone is dropping out."
"Is that so? What happens if someone drops out?"
"Are you seriously thinking of dropping out?"
"Not really, I'm just asking what happens if someone does."
"There's a reserve player lined up since the last tournament, so it'd be fine, but... Haa... Forget it. My mouth hurts just trying to explain this to a lazy bastard like you. Just don't participate. I'll chalk it up to my mistake for even getting my hopes up."
"You had your hopes up?"
"Forget it, screw off."
The master adored his slave so much, yet the slave only acted cold. It was truly lamentable. A world where morals had fallen to the ground... I worried for its future. I had no choice but to hand down a punishment.
Matching my pace with Renka as she walked ahead, I reached out my hand just as she neared the door to the emergency stairwell. I pulled the door open and forcefully shoved her inside.
"Ah...!?"
Renka let out a startled gasp as she was practically shoved into the stairwell. Before she could gather her senses, I backed her against the wall, pressed my body tight against hers, and spoke.
"Hey."
"You...! What do you think you're doing right now...?!"
"Did I say I wasn't going to participate?"
"W-What...?"
"I asked if I said I wouldn't participate. Why are you suddenly getting mad?"
"N-No... It's just... hearing the way you were talking..."
"I told you I was just asking. So why did you jump to your own conclusions and start cursing at me to screw off and whatnot? Come to think of it, you suddenly got mad at me this morning too, didn't you?"
"Ugh...! That was because you also... with Hanazawa..."
"What."
Perhaps intimidated by my low, informal tone, Renka's attitude faltered.
"I-It's only natural for me to be mad, isn't it...? When you act like such Tr..."
Even so, Renka still tried to put up a fight, but—
Smack!
"Kyaaah!?"
She let out a terrified shriek and jerked her entire body when I slapped the side of her thigh rather forcefully. Seizing the opening, I wedged my leg between hers and pressed my body completely against hers. Taking it a step further, I rested my hands on her waistband and began unfastening the button securing her jeans. Realizing what I was about to do, Renka's pupils shook like there was an earthquake.
"W-Wait...! Matsuda...! Not here...!"
"Shut up."
"Hey...! N-No...! Don't...!"
"I said shut up."
"Ugh...!"
Did she realize struggling was no use? Wedged between my body and the wall, Renka gestured frantically toward the corner with her eyes.
"The figure... Just let me... over there..."
She seemed to be asking to put the shopping bag down over there. Since she appeared to understand her current situation, I could easily allow her that much. Thinking so, I released Renka and gave a slight nod.
"Haa..."
Letting out a deep sigh, Renka furrowed her brow and glared at me. Straightening out her messy hair as she headed toward the corner near the stairwell window, she acted as if she was about to set down the shopping bag containing the figure, until—
"Eek...!"
She took a cute little breath and immediately made a mad dash for the exit. However, her escape attempt was doomed to end in failure. Noticing her suspicious behavior, I had already moved swiftly to block the door.
"Ah...!"
Finding my massive frame blocking her path, Renka let out a lamentable gasp. Perhaps sensing she was about to pay the price for trying to escape, the way she squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them was adorable.
It was like watching the protagonist of a prison break drama fail their escape. Stifling the laughter threatening to burst out, I hardened my expression and took a step toward Renka, then another.
"I-I'm sorry... I really have to... use the bathroom..."
Backing away, she threw out a pathetic excuse that had zero chance of working. Since ancient times, slaves who tried to escape their masters have been dealt with strictly. Simply put, it was a felony. It was only right that she receive a heavy punishment.
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