How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 356
"I'll get going! See you later!"
Clack.
After calling out a cheerful farewell to her friend, Miyuki opened the passenger door and flashed a bright smile at me.
I had been watching her friend up until that moment, so I asked, "Is that Nanase?"
"Yeah. Haruka."
I'd heard the name so often that I was intensely curious; now I finally got to see her.
As expected of Miyuki's friend, she was cute. Her hair, tied back in a round bun, really stood out.
Her breasts were small, but that didn't matter. Since she had a petite frame like Miho, it would actually look weird if they were big.
I rolled down the passenger window and gave Haruka a brief nod, and she bowed in return.
Seeing her clasp her hands together, I could tell she was very polite.'She's a really charming girl. I suddenly feel a strong urge to seduce her.'
'She seems docile, though not as much as Chinami. Just imagining a threesome with Miyuki taking the lead makes the blood rush to my lower half.'
Suppressing the temptation, I finished my greetings and drove off, chatting happily with Miyuki on the way home.
As we passed by Miyuki's neighborhood, I noticed the area around the Shrine where we had watched the fireworks was quite bustling.
"What's going on? Is today a special occasion?"
"Not that I know of... They probably just have some simple weekend event going on. They don't do it often, but they host them sometimes."
"Really? You aren't tired, right?"
"No, I'm fine. Want to check it out?"
"Yeah. Let's drop by."
"Alright."
The Shrine wasn't packed with a sea of people, but there was a decent crowd.
After parking, I walked inside with her and said, "This brings back memories."
"It does."
She wore a faint smile and a distant, nostalgic look in her eyes, seemingly recalling the same memories I was.
Chuckling, I glanced around until I spotted a corner with a few people lined up and pointed at it.
"Is that omikuji?"
"Looks like it."
"Want to give it a try?"
"Sure."
Right next to the omikuji booth, there was a separate corner for koimikuji, the love fortune slips.
We went over and waited for the line to go down. Soon, the attendant, dressed in a shrine maiden outfit, asked us with a bright smile, "Hello. Are you here for the koimikuji?"
"Yes."
"That will be 200 yen."
After I paid, the shrine maiden handed me a copper coin with a round hole in the center, much like a 5-yen coin.
"Thank you. Please head to the next stall and toss the coin into the box."
I moved to the next stall as she instructed and saw a large box filled with white sand.
Dozens of coins were already scattered inside, suggesting many couples had already come to check their fortunes.
Just as I was about to toss the coin in, I paused and looked back at Miyuki.
"What is it?"
She asked with a puzzled expression. I brought the coin to the dead center of her forehead and rubbed it against her skin with a bit of force.
Press...!
Then, I tossed the coin, now fully imbued with Miyuki's energy, right into the box.
In that short span, Miyuki's face, having been hit with such a random display of affection, changed by the second.
From bewilderment, to disbelief, and finally to embarrassment.
Having showcased all those emotions through her expressions in a fleeting moment, Miyuki let out a pouty whine.
"Ah, what are you doing...!"
Yet a blossoming smile hung around her lips; she clearly felt incredibly happy.
She loved that I was expressing my affection for her in this way.
Grinning at Miyuki, who now had a faint coin mark on her forehead, I drew a stick from the cylindrical box the shrine maiden offered us.
The maiden then slowly shook a wand adorned with several bells a few times to wish us luck. Another maiden took our stick, checked the number on it, and handed us a neatly folded slip of paper from the box behind her.
It was the paper with our fortune on it.
We were only doing this for fun, yet for some reason, I felt a flutter of nerves.
With that in mind, I moved to a corner of the Shrine and unfolded the paper.
[There is great happiness in both the present and the future.]
It was a blessing commonly seen when checking love fortunes.
I had been worried we might get some heavy-handed advice like [Trust and understand] or [Requires the understanding of those around you], so I was relieved that wasn't the case.
Of course, drawing a negative fortune while in a great mood could easily ruin the atmosphere, so shrines tended to avoid using bad phrases on purpose.
"That's a really good one, isn't it?"
Miyuki said after checking the phrase.
Even though it was just for fun and these fortunes were basically guaranteed to be positive, it still put me in a good mood. It felt like it was hinting at a bright future for my harem, so I nodded in agreement.
"How long is this valid for?"
"Usually one year."
'Then I'll have to get everything sorted out within a year.'
With that resolve, I went with Miyuki to the spot for tying the omikuji slips. After securing ours tightly, we headed over to make a shrine offering.
'Is this my first time making a shrine offering with Miyuki?'
'If so, since we just got a good fortune, I should empty my pockets as a way to pray for our future blessings.'
I currently had five 1,000-yen bills on me.
Taking them all out, I headed over to the nearby exchange booth.
These days, a lot of shrines exhibited the bizarre behavior of installing coin machines or even card-friendly kiosks for offerings in the name of modern systems. I was glad this place wasn't like that.
"Please change this into 500-yen coins."
"The entire 5,000 yen?"
"Yes. All of it."
"Understood."
After exchanging the coins, I guided a perplexed Miyuki to stand side-by-side with me in front of the offering box.
When I unceremoniously chucked all the coins inside in one go, Miyuki flinched in surprise and said, "Isn't that shrine offering a bit excessive...? And isn't it widely known that 500-yen coins don't have any effect...?"
Tsk tsk. When it comes to shrine offerings and donations, there is no such thing as 'excess is as bad as deficiency.'
It is unconditionally 'the more, the better.' The higher the amount, the happier the gods will be.
"That's only if it's one coin. Ten coins is a different story. The effect reverses."
"R-Really...? That's a thing?"
"No. I just made it up."
"Ah, what the...!"
Letting out a breathy laugh of disbelief, Miyuki lightly nudged my arm and continued.
"You should have just written your address on a white envelope and put the bills inside... Then the priest would pray to the god for your good fortune during the dedication."
'That was a thing?'
'No wonder there were white envelopes in the corner of the exchange booth's desk... Does that mean larger amounts get special treatment?'
'The world of the gods is just as capitalistic as the mortal realm. I can't help but lament this.'
"Why are you only telling me this now?"
"Well... I didn't think you'd just dump all the coins in at once... You dummy."
"Don't curse in front of the god."
"I meant it as an expression of affection. Did it sound like a curse to you?"
"Whatever you say."
'Next time I make a shrine offering, I should bring a hefty sum and put it in an envelope.'
'There's a feng shui myth that offering 45 yen guarantees a good relationship from start to finish. If I gave a hundred times... no, a thousand times that, wouldn't the god be immensely satisfied?'
Pondering that, I offered a prayer with Miyuki according to the Shrine's customs. Afterward, I held her hand tightly as we spent a long time watching the event before finally getting into the car.
Ever since I rubbed that coin on her forehead, Miyuki's face had been consistently bright. For some reason, I had the feeling she was going to suck all the vitality right out of me tonight.
"Matsuken!"
The next day, after sending off Miyuki—who said she was dropping by the Student Council—I was walking toward the building when I turned my head at the sound of Hiyori's incredibly welcoming voice calling out from behind.
"What the...? What's wrong with under your eyes?"
Hiyori asked in surprise after inspecting my face.
Tilting my head, I asked back, "What about under my eyes?"
"You've got dark circles. Did you not sleep last night?"
'I have dark circles?'
'No wonder Miyuki offered to pack me an eel bento today after our three rounds of physical intimacy last night...'
'I didn't get much sleep, but I thought I was fine. It seems my body is far more honest than my mind.'
'If I'm going to live with four heroines in the future, this level of stamina won't cut it.'
'I really need to start working out or something.'
"I slept fine."
"Really? Were you watching porn?"
'Is she roundaboutly asking if I'm tired from jerking off?'
'I thought I'd given her enough purity education over the past two days, but I guess there is still a long way to go.'
I flicked Hiyori's ahoge and scolded her.
"Don't go around saying things like that to just anyone."
"But you aren't just anyone, sunbae-nim."
'There she goes with her habitual flirting again.'
'When you act like this, it just makes me want to drag you into a corner.'
'A sudden thought struck me. Just like how I rubbed the coin on Miyuki during our Shrine date yesterday, what kind of reaction would I get if I did the exact same thing to Hiyori?'
'I'm not just curious about Hiyori's reaction, but Renka's and Chinami's as well.'
"Is that so?"
"Yep."
"Then fine."
When I took a stance that subtly seemed to acknowledge her, Hiyori flinched slightly... ever so slightly.
'Your body is just as honest as my own haggard self right now.'
'It's cute how her clumsiness gently leaks out.'
"Has your grade decided on the location for the summer school trip, sunbae-nim?"
"What school trip?"
"I guess you guys haven't done the survey yet? I heard we're doing ours today."
"Really? Are they actually going wherever the survey decides?"
"Probably, right? I already coordinated with the other kids to choose the ocean."
'If that's the case, and the ocean gets the most votes across all three grades, does that mean the joint school trip I envisioned before is going to become a reality?'
'It feels a bit too early for that right now... but there's still a lot of time left until the trip, so it might be fine.'
'Since Miyuki almost drowned, she's uneasy about the ocean and would likely pick another place, but it's a different story if the location is decided by majority vote.'
'Just looking at the current weather, it's obvious that this summer is going to be sweltering, so there will definitely be a lot of people voting for the ocean.'
'If we end up going to the ocean, I should stick to the shallow water with the heroines to be considerate of Miyuki.'
'Though closing the distance between the four of them comes first.'
"You didn't threaten them into choosing it, did you?"
"Of course not. Oh, and look at this."
Hiyori pulled out her Cell Phone and waved it in front of my eyes.
Seeing the lemon keychain clatter against the case, I said, "I already saw it yesterday."
"Well, look at it again."
'Does she really like it that much?'
'Once you get back to the classroom, make sure you brag to your friends that Matsuken bought it for you.'
'That way, all those useless hangers-on won't cling to you.'
"I get it, so calm down. Come with me to the School Store."
"Gasp, are you buying me something?"
"I'm not buying you anything. Just look."
I spoke as if delivering a final notice, then turned my steps toward the School Store. Hiyori followed, speaking to me in an impish tone.
"I already know you're going to buy me something, though?"
"Think whatever you want. It's as simple as me not buying it."
"Just buy me one thing. Melon Milk and soboro bread."
"That's not one thing."
"I meant one of each."
"No."
"I'll pay you back later, so please buy them. I woke up late today and left my wallet behind in my rush."
"You haven't even paid back the 100 yen you borrowed last time."
"I paid that back with Suichu, what are you talking about...!"
"Did you throw the interest to the dogs?"
"I'm so hungryyy..."
She drooped her shoulders and rubbed her stomach.
It looked like she was getting ready to tug at her dress shirt tucked inside her skirt, as if threatening to expose herself—something she knew I hated—if things didn't go her way.
Seeing her ridiculous antics, I let out a short sigh, pretending I had no choice but to give in.
"I'll buy it for you, so wear your clothes properly."
"Yep!"
'It's funny how quickly she returned to her energetic self.'
'Miho must be really exhausted from always having to look after Hiyori.'
'No, maybe she just gave up altogether.'
And so, I headed to the School Store with Hiyori, who had been chatting non-stop since the morning.
'Since I've been taking in Miyuki and Hiyori's bubbly energy all morning, I'll have to regulate my tension at lunch with Renka's purple vibes and Chinami's pink vibes.'
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