How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 403
“Where should I park?”
“—Just... park in the Parking Lot.”
Her slightly trembling voice came through the car's speakers.
Finding Renka's nervous tone incredibly cute, I asked again.
“Here? In this square empty lot?”
“—Yeah...”
“Are you sure it's okay? Won't your parents park here when they arrive, President?”
“—What are you talking about...! Are you planning to stay until my parents get here?”
“Well, what did you expect? Did you want me to just look at your face and leave?”
“—Oh, geez...! Just park there!”“Alright, alright. No need to throw a fit.”
“—You crazy...”
I quickly ended the call before Renka could spew a string of curses, then parked in the designated spot next to the Main Gate just as she had instructed.
The spot was wide, so I parked over the line to one side, leaving plenty of room for another vehicle to pull in.
This way, Renka's parents wouldn't have any trouble parking when they arrived.
When I got out of the car, Renka was waiting for me.
She stood in front of the Main Gate with her arms crossed, glaring at me.
The white T-shirt and tight shorts she wore were subtly arousing.
“Why did you park like this?”
Seeing her reaction to the car pressed tightly to the side of the space, I put on an indifferent expression and replied.
“So your parents have room to pull in when they get here.”
“I mean... couldn't you just pull it out and put it back in?”
“Pull what out and put what back in?”
“What are you talking about? The car... hey...!!”
Blushing at the innuendo, Renka let out a shriek.
Chuckling, I stepped closer, patted her lower back, and spoke.
“I just thought it would be a hassle for your parents to have to call me so I could pull it out and put it back in.”
“...Is that so?”
“Yeah. By the way, did you tell your parents I was coming?”
“Yeah.”
“Good job. Can we go inside now?”
“I never told you not to.”
“Why are you so prickly today?”
“Shut up. Just follow me.”
Turning around with a huff, Renka opened her house's Main Gate.
The Main Gate swung inward without a single squeak, revealing a garden before my eyes.
The garden was several times larger than the one at my house, dotted with a few small landscaping trees.
Next to them was a row of blooming flowerbeds; it was an incredibly well-kept space.
Following Renka along a neat stone path that matched the garden, I passed a light-colored wooden platform and stopped before the front door.
Renka glanced back at me before opening the door, and I cautiously stepped inside.
“This is my house. Don't expect a warm welcome.”
Despite her words, the inside of her house carried a fragrance that perfectly matched its traditional exterior.
It was a woody scent, the kind you would catch in an old timber house, exuding a refreshing coolness that seemed to cleanse the mind.
The warm orange lighting, paired with the late evening hour, filled the space with a dim and moody atmosphere.
The interior had an old but elegant feel, and the size was just right for a small family.
Overall, it matched the exact image I'd had in my head.
“Your house is really nice.”
Renka scoffed at my compliment as I looked around the well-organized interior.
“It's not that nice.”
“I think it's great.”
“Suit yourself. Do you want some water?”
“Yeah. By the way, where is your room, President?”
“Over there.”
Renka paused with her hand on the refrigerator door and pointed to a secluded room a short distance from the living room.
A lone nail driven into the wall above the door stood out.
“What used to hang up there?”
“What?”
“On the door.”
“Oh... that? I hung a name tag there when I was a kid.”
With the face she was making, no one would believe it was just a name tag.
Hadn't she probably hung up an anime character holding a ‘Please knock’ sign?
I harbored a very reasonable suspicion.
“W-what? Do you not believe me right now?”
Renka snapped at me, noticing my unconvinced expression.
I grabbed the cup of water from the table, gulped it down, and simply smirked instead of answering.
At that, Renka clamped her mouth shut and fell silent.
She clearly didn't know what to do with herself. I was the guest in her house, yet it felt like our roles were reversed.
“When are your parents coming?”
“I-I don't know...! Don't get any weird ideas...!”
“I hadn't had a single weird idea, so why do you keep bringing it up?”
“What do you mean, you haven't...! You were just teasing me earlier about pulling it out and putting it back in...!”
“That was just a joke. Can I check out your room, President?”
Renka sharply inhaled at those words.
Seeing her eyes darting around and her face turning as pink as the peaches Chinami liked, it seemed she thought something dirty was about to happen.
Or perhaps she hadn't managed to hide all her merch. It had to be one of the two.
“You've seen the house, so leave now.”
I hadn't even done anything, yet she was already trying to kick me out.
I had come all the way here with the intention of greeting her parents, too.
Ignoring her nonsense, I walked toward her room.
Renka quickly darted past me and blocked the door.
Thinking she looked incredibly cute with both hands behind her back as she tightly gripped the doorknob, I asked.
“What are you doing?”
“Not my room...”
“Did you not finish hiding all your anime merch?”
“I-it's not that...!”
“Then what is it?”
“I mean... do you really have to go in?”
It was obviously her first time inviting a guy into her personal sanctuary, and she had no idea how to handle it.
I felt the need to help her out a bit.
With that thought, I took a large stride toward Renka, who was standing frozen stiff.
“Eek...!”
As she leaned her head back as far as she could, I reached my arm past her waist, placed my hand over hers on the doorknob, and pressed it down.
Click.
At the same time, the door swung open.
The moment it opened, a faint blueberry scent tickled my nose. I stepped inside, practically glued to the flustered Renka.
“Hey...! Wai— Hyaak...!?”
Tapping the flustered Renka's rear, I entered her room. The first thing I noticed was a single bed covered in light indigo sheets.
Even the blanket and pillows were the same color; it suited Renka perfectly.
“It smells nice in here.”
“...”
Renka plopped down on the edge of the bed with a look of resignation, her eyes torn between embarrassment and shyness.
Naturally taking a seat next to her, I couldn't hide the smile leaking out as I looked at the display cabinet in the corner of the room.
It was clearly a figure display case, but there was nothing inside.
It was proof she had simply plucked out the figures because moving such a massive cabinet was too difficult.
Even the bookshelf next to the small desk was completely empty.
It had probably been filled with manga volumes before.
“What are you laughing at...!”
Renka snapped at me as I looked around the room, which so obviously screamed that she had hidden things away.
Unable to hold back any longer, I let out a light laugh and spoke.
“Was there really a need to hide it all? I already know your tastes well anyway, President.”
“...Shut up.”
Letting her speechless curse go in one ear and out the other, I rested my hand on the plush pillow beside me.
The texture felt crisp beneath my palm; it seemed she had even changed the pillowcases.
Did she originally have one with a character printed on it and swapped it out because I was coming over?
No, it probably wasn't that extreme. She likely just changed it to keep things neat.
“Your room is cozy.”
At my softened voice, a faint gulp echoed from Renka's throat.
If I were to place a hand on her chest, her heart would probably be beating furiously.
“...Right. Wait a second... I need to use the bathroom... Don't touch anything...!”
“Understood.”
“I mean it...!”
“I said I got it.”
Giving me one last stern warning, Renka sprang up from her seat and left the room.
She seemed genuinely nervous, which was cute.
I let out a soft chuckle and fiddled with my Cell Phone until, Bzzzt—!
[Matsu.]
[What's up.]
[What did you do at the Academy earlier?]
[An oral inspection.]
[Was it really an oral inspection?]
[Yeah. I satisfied my own desires while I was at it.]
[You have that kind of fetish?]
[It's one of my many tastes. Where are you right now? Are you outside?]
[Yeah. I'm with some friends.]
[Don't wander around too much.]
[I'm not wandering around right now; I'm sitting down.]
[That's not what I meant.]
[Hang out with me this week.]
Hmm. To be able to enjoy dates with four heroines every week...
It was a happy vacation. A pool of wine and forest of meat wasn't just something that existed in fantasies.
Though there was still the most important mountain left to climb before I reached a true pool of wine and forest of meat.
[When?]
[Whenever. When you have time.]
[Sure.]
[Okaay.]
Seeing Hiyori's reply, which made it obvious she was in a better mood, brightened my own spirits as well.
I exchanged a few more words with Hiyori before putting away my Cell Phone. When Renka returned to the room with her bangs slightly wet, I tilted my head.
“Did you wash your face?”
“...Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I was sleepy.”
“Doesn't seem like it.”
“I was, so don't get delusional.”
Her voice had returned to its usual tone; it seemed she had calmed down a bit.
Gazing intently at Renka, who sat down next to me with a slight gap between us, I asked.
“Are your parents coming home late?”
“Why are you asking that...?”
“If they aren't here in about two hours, I'm planning on doing what you've been anticipating, President.”
“W-what have I been anticipating...! And they'll be here before then...!”
She was on high alert against me again, just like earlier.
She had gone through the trouble of washing her face, but it seemed to have been completely useless.
“What a shame.”
“What's a shame...! Thinking about that kind of stuff even here makes you seem like real Trash. You know that?”
“Why have you been denouncing me as Trash since earlier?”
“You are Trash...! Looking at what you did to that junior at the Main Gate today... Her name is Asahina, right?”
“Is that not allowed?”
At my incredibly nonchalant rebuttal, Renka's mouth fell open slightly.
But that was only for a moment. Hearing my next words, her eyes widened as far as they could possibly go.
“They are all mine.”
“W-what...?”
“They are all mine. You too, President, and Master, Miyuki, and Hiyori, all of you.”
“What kind of crazy talk...”
Was Renka the first one I had actually revealed my full ambitions to?
Her reaction was very much like her.
Gently grabbing the dumbfounded Renka by the waist, I pushed her back down onto the bed.
“W-wait...!”
And then, half-forcibly, I brought my lips down onto the mouth of the terrified Renka as she pushed against my chest.
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