Chapter 391: Stars (2)

No matter how Xiahou Xian confessed, begged, threatened, or cursed, Fang Rui remained unmoved. His expression was indifferent as he watched Xiahou Xian’s Divine Soul scream hideously before utterly dissipating.

…

A short while later, the three hundred Tribulation Demon Black Eagles finished their rampage, having slaughtered the thousand-plus soldiers of the Black Flood Dragon Army.

Fang Rui left them outside and entered the village himself.

Amidst the roaring flames, he saw countless pale corpses of villagers scattered about—the strong, the old, the weak, women, and children alike. Stark-red blood flowed everywhere.

‘Not a single survivor… Huh?!’

Fang Rui strolled along, then suddenly arrived at a courtyard. With a wave of his hand, Spiritual Light surged, revealing a little girl from within a haystack.

She was a small, skinny girl of no more than six or seven, dressed in coarse linen clothes, her hair dry and yellowed. Upon seeing Fang Rui, she shrank back in fear.

“Don’t be afraid. I’m not a bad person.”

Fang Rui walked over, took the little girl’s hand, and led her into the house. Amidst the shabby tables and chairs lay the bodies of a man and an old woman.

“Dad! Grandma!” the little girl cried out.

There was, of course, no response.

“They’re dead.”

“Sigh!”

Fang Rui sighed. He formed a hand seal, and the two bodies flew out of the house to be buried by the earth. After leaving behind some supplies, he turned and left.

“Mister!”

The little girl reached out a hand, as if wanting him to stay, but she received no response. All that answered was the boundless darkness outside, flooding in like a tide.

…

“SCREECH!”

Fang Rui sat cross-legged on the back of the Purple Feathered Crane, a wave of inexplicable agitation rising in his heart, as if something was weighing him down.

He suddenly began to question himself.

‘Don’t I know that after I leave, that little girl will most likely not survive? I do!’

‘In my heart of hearts, do I want to take care of that girl? I do!’

‘Then why didn’t I? I was afraid of getting her involved in my troubles… No, I was afraid she would be a burden, that she would affect my great freedom and detachment.’

‘But for me, it would have been an effortless task to arrange for a family to take her in.’

Fang Rui was stunned. “When did I become so cold?”

‘Today, I can ignore a life and go against my own heart just to avoid a little trouble. So one day in the future, for the sake of the Dao Fruit, will I abandon everything human? Will I forget my mother, my Third Sister…’

As he thought of this, his expression changed in horror.

When Mrs. Xue of the Fang Family, the Third Lady, Fang Ling, and Nannan had left, the pain had been unforgettable. Later, the memory of it would still bring a dull ache. And later still, it had faded, and he found himself thinking of them less and less…

‘One day, will I forget my mother, Third Sister, Ling’Er, and Nannan? Am I transforming into someone indifferent, someone inhuman?!’

‘And my actions these past few days…’

Fang Rui reflected, “To be unburdened by emotion is not the same as being heartless. I seem to have fallen into a kind of obsession, deliberately trying to become that way, and in doing so, have fenced myself in.”

“If this goes on, even if I become a Daoist Lord one day and stand above all the heavens and myriad realms, will that still be me?”

“Fang Rui, oh, Fang Rui, can you still claim that you haven’t forgotten your original purpose?”

Fang Rui patted his head. “I was wrong. I was so wrong!”

“The states of mind of the great sages of old… some moved with the world, unburdened by sentiment; others could be both transcendent and yet close to the people…”

“That is their state of mind, not mine!”

Fang Rui murmured, his eyes gradually clearing, “I shouldn’t force it. I just need to walk my own path. For me, if it’s within my power and my heart wants to do it, then I should just do it.”

“I regret not having watched the path more closely, and now I halt, for I shall return. I will turn my chariot back to the proper road, for I have not yet strayed too far.”

“Let’s go, Purple Feathered Crane. We’re going back.”

…

When he returned, the little girl was no longer in the main room. Fang Rui found her in a dim inner room.

At that moment, the little girl was curled up in a corner of the bed, hugging her knees. Her head was down and she was covering her eyes, making her already small and skinny frame seem even smaller. She was also clutching a woman’s coarse linen garment.

Perhaps hearing the noise, she peeked through the gaps between her fingers, her voice filled with surprise. “Mister?!”

“It’s me.”

Fang Rui smiled and cast a Small Magic to soothe the girl’s mind. She instantly felt as if she were bathing in warm sunlight, let out a soft hum, and seemed to feel a bit closer to him.

“What’s your name?”

“Xin Xue’Er.”

“Xue’Er? That’s a very nice name.”

“My mom said it was snowing really hard when I was born, so she named me Xue’Er…”

“I see. Were you scared when I left just now?”

“I…”

Xin Xue’Er thought for a moment, nodded emphatically, then shook her head. “I was scared, but Mom said that if you cover your eyes so you can’t see, then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Can you tell me about your mom?”

Fang Rui noticed that Xin Xue’Er mentioned her mother many times, but not the deceased father and grandmother he had seen earlier.

“My mom!”

A look of remembrance appeared on Xin Xue’Er’s small face. “Dad always called Mom stupid, and Mom would just laugh… Grandma always called me a worthless girl. She was so mean, and her beatings really hurt. Mom would hold me and tell me, ‘Close your eyes. If you can’t see it, there’s nothing to be afraid of.'”

“This year, the harvest failed, so I couldn’t eat. Mom ate the least, but she’d secretly give her food to me… Mom went out to work for grain. One time, someone gave her a roasted sweet potato. She tucked it inside her clothes to bring it home, and it was still warm. It was so sweet… Later, Mom got sick, but we had no money, so… she was gone… Before she left, she told me, ‘Xue’Er, you have to live a good life…'”

You have to live a good life!

‘His mother had said those exact same words to him!’

Fang Rui raised his face, closed his eyes, and at that moment, tears began to stream down his cheeks.

He hadn’t even shed a tear when Mrs. Xue of the Fang Family had left back then, yet now, for some reason, he couldn’t hold them back.

Yes, there are many times when your heart is in immense pain, but you can’t cry. And then later, at some unexpected moment, the memory returns, and you weep uncontrollably.