Chapter 163 - 162: A Big Bucket of Chili Peppers

Chapter 163: Chapter 162: A Big Bucket of Chili Peppers

RUSTLE RUSTLE RUSTLE! A sound, like a terrestrial arthropod scuttling about, reached the ears of the miserable group.

Their complaining, like the squawking of a drake being throttled, came to an abrupt halt.

"No, no... It can’t be, can it?"

The Fat Daoist swallowed and whispered.

But the shadow that appeared at the gate shattered his and his fellow disciples’ last shred of hope.

Under the cold moonlight, a plant came into view. It had a large, round head and a thin stalk, no thicker than a baby’s arm.

"Gurgle-gurgle?"

The human-faced sunflower looked at the messy courtyard, its expression puzzled as it seemed to ask a tentative question.

"HELP————"

"The sunflower’s gonna eat us!!"

The Credit Knifer and Feng Yu, who had been spitting at each other, both fell silent.

"Big Bro, what do we do?" Feng Yu asked worriedly, his face covered in spit. ’Those teeth look pretty sharp. This can’t be a vegetarian aberration.’

"What do we do? We keep our heads down! The last thing we need is this thing chewing on us like we’re duck heads." After speaking, the Credit Knifer tried to retract his neck, but the ground was too hard. He couldn’t pull it in at all.

Feng Yu: "..."

’Duck heads my ass!’

’Can’t you say something positive for once?’

He glanced at the ghost-head blade lying next to the Credit Knifer, a helpless look on his face.

「Early the next morning」 He Xiaotian walked into the Quiet Chamber Courtyard.

A group of Daoists, pale from the cold and looking as if they’d lost the will to live, were snoring away. It seemed that after the string of mishaps from the previous day, they were utterly exhausted, body and mind.

As for the two heads, the Credit Knifer’s eyes were wide open, and he even had dark circles under them.

He stared fixedly in one direction, not daring to relax for a single moment.

The other, Feng Yu, was sleeping soundly.

They had no choice; neither of them wanted to get chewed on.

So they had to take turns keeping watch.

Then there was Daoxuan, pinned down and afraid to move.

Why?

Because a human-faced sunflower was sprawled on top of him.

The sunflower was sleeping soundly, its drool pooling all over the ground.

"Feng Yu. Feng Yu, wake up. It’s your turn. Let me get some sleep..." the Credit Knifer’s voice was feeble. He had been injured the day before, and after keeping watch all night, his Spirit was completely drained.

"SNORE... SNORE..."

Feng Yu, however, snored softly with his mouth open.

"PTUI!"

A glob of spit traced an arc through the air and landed right in Feng Yu’s open mouth.

"GULP!"

"What’s that taste?"

Without batting an eye, the Credit Knifer muttered, "Your watch. My turn to sleep."

"Fine."

Now rested, Feng Yu reverted to his usual deadpan self.

He Xiaotian, who was standing at the entrance: "..."

’You two play so dirty!’

"Rise and shine!"

The Credit Knifer had just closed his eyes when He Xiaotian’s booming voice rang out.

It scared the piss right out of him.

He was utterly mortified.

"Big Bro, let me out! I swear I won’t run away. I’ve been on my best behavior since the moment we met," the Credit Knifer pleaded with He Xiaotian, a miserable look on his face.

He Xiaotian stroked his chin. ’That does make sense,’ he thought.

"Don’t believe him," Feng Yu cut in. "After you and the old Daoist left yesterday, this bastard was bragging to me about how he was free. Said something about finding a Netherworld fissure, transforming his golden blade, and coming back to show it to me." At the critical moment, Feng Yu sold out the Credit Knifer without a second thought.

After a brief silence, the Credit Knifer’s neck shot out with a *zing*, stretching considerably.

"I’m going to fucking bite you to death!!"

He Xiaotian winced at the sight. He could have sworn he’d just heard a CRACK.

’Aren’t you afraid you’re going to snap your neck?’

Maintaining his deadpan expression, Feng Yu curled his lip in disdain.

’He hadn’t forgotten about that gob of spit from yesterday.’

’If I didn’t stab him in the back right now, I’d be doing myself a disservice.’

"She, my boy, it’s not that I don’t want to pull you out. It’s just that you’re too dangerous, too slippery," He Xiaotian said, raising a hand to pat the man’s head reassuringly. But his hand stopped short when he noticed some kind of dried, stringy substance in the man’s hair.

"S-Scholar... Scholar X... h-help... help me..." Daoxuan mumbled from the side, terrified that a louder voice would wake the human-faced sunflower.

He Xiaotian rolled his eyes. ’He makes it sound like I’m some "Grand Scholar X" or something.’

He ignored the timid Daoxuan. The boy wasn’t his disciple, but the old Daoist’s.

It wasn’t his place to interfere with Shouyangzi’s teaching methods.

"Alright, boys. Time to wake up."

He walked over to the group of Daoists sleeping soundly and gave them a nudge.

"ACHOO..."

The Daoists sneezed as they woke up one by one.

They had probably caught a chill during the night and were coming down with colds.

"Scholar, please help us! I nearly froze to death last night."

The Fat Daoist at the head of the group threw himself at He Xiaotian’s leg, sobbing with a face full of snot and tears.

"..."

’You’ve got to be kidding me.’

’You can all move now, so what do you need my help for?’

’What a bunch of weirdos they have at this Divine Void Temple!’

’That poor old Daoist, having to lead this bunch of clowns.’

"Idiots!" Feng Yu muttered.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" the Fat Daoist shot back. He pointed a finger, jumped to his feet, and rolled up his sleeves, looking ready to give Feng Yu a thrashing if he didn’t explain himself.

And then...

"Hey! I can move! I can move!"

He looked like a man who, after seeing a late-night infomercial for a miracle cure, suddenly realized his ailment wasn’t hopeless after all.

He Xiaotian stood in the courtyard, the corner of his mouth twitching as he watched the Daoists vanish like a gust of wind.

’Too bad the human-faced sunflower didn’t just eat them yesterday!’

"Whatever, I’ll go make myself some breakfast." He Xiaotian shook his head, flicked his sleeves, and left, ignoring both the Credit Knifer, who was still desperately stretching his neck trying to bite Feng Yu, and Daoxuan, who was pleading for rescue with wide, tear-filled eyes.

「Less than an hour later」

The Fat Daoist returned to the courtyard with a few other Daoists in tow.

They carried two wooden buckets over to Feng Yu.

"Supreme Celestial Venerable," the Fat Daoist began, a wicked grin on his face. "Scholars. You haven’t eaten breakfast yet, have you? Our Martial Uncle said that even though you’re prisoners, our temple mustn’t mistreat you. So... breakfast is served!" The Credit Knifer’s butthole clenched instantly; he was nowhere near as calm as Feng Yu. He had a bad feeling these guys were up to no good.

"Scholar She, this is your meal." As he spoke, one of the Daoists opened a bucket, and the fragrant aroma of a hot meal drifted out.

The Credit Knifer’s eyes lit up. ’These guys are alright after all,’ he thought.

’Saving them last night wasn’t a total waste.’

"Don’t be hasty, Scholar. First, let my junior brother help you wash up," the Fat Daoist said, then turned to Feng Yu, his eyes narrowing. "As for you, Scholar, your meal is ready as well."

He let out a sinister chuckle.

He bent down and opened the second bucket himself. Inside was a sea of bright red... chili peppers.