Chapter 194: I’m Not So Vicious That I Have to See You Cry to Be Happy

Chapter 194: Chapter 194: I’m Not So Vicious That I Have to See You Cry to Be Happy

In the carriage on the way back to the mansion, the couple sat facing each other.

A small table sat between them, holding a pot of hot tea.

When she saw the man across from her reach for the teapot, Cui Lingyao flatly refused. "I’m not drinking. Don’t pour any for me."

"..." Xie Jinbai’s hand paused. He lifted his gaze to glance at her, a corner of his mouth twitching. "Who said I was pouring this for you? Can’t I have some myself?"

To Cui Lingyao, it sounded like he was telling her not to be so presumptuous.

She felt a pang of awkwardness. The memory of the six portraits of beautiful women she had received that morning made her throat tighten.

Silence fell between them.

Xie Jinbai leisurely sipped his warm tea. Seeing her cold and distant expression, he spoke up. "I left the palace and went to the Tea Garden, where I ran into Minzhi. He told me you were at his mansion, so I came over to get you."

Minzhi was Zhao Shijie’s courtesy name.

He was explaining why he had suddenly appeared at the Duke Zhao Mansion.

He was also trying to break the tense silence.

At his words, Cui Lingyao broke her silence. Frowning, she asked, "When did you two get here? You weren’t eavesdropping outside the whole time, were you?"

Eavesdropping.

Xie Jinbai was left speechless.

Throughout his life, those who served him had always been exceptionally astute. Reading people’s expressions and divining their master’s intentions was a required skill.

Only she could be so painfully direct.

He was silent for a moment. Showing no signs of anger, he confessed, "We did get here quite early, but we didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation."

The truth was, their conversation touched on matters that both he and Zhao Shijie were desperate to understand.

Thinking of the emotional rollercoaster of the past several days, Xie Jinbai said plaintively, "It seems eavesdropping is the only way I can try to figure out what’s on your mind."

His tone was that of a scorned wife, cheated on time and again by a heartless cad.

Cui Lingyao felt a prickle of unease. She wanted to argue that she wasn’t a liar.

But she had fallen for his tactic of feigning weakness to advance his position too many times. Drawing from experience, she knew that if she took the bait and argued with him now, she would most likely be drawn into one of his traps. So, she held her tongue and said nothing, her silence pointedly cold.

Xie Jinbai’s gaze darkened. He stared at her for a long time, but when she refused to take the bait, he found he was at a loss.

He sighed softly and changed his tack. "I don’t care how close you and Chen Minrou are, or that you tell each other everything. From now on, you are forbidden from discussing matters between us with any third party."

’His crying has such an aesthetic.’

’Something that needs to be savored.’

’And what in the world was...?’

A wave of awkwardness, the likes of which he had never felt before, washed over him. For the first time in his life, Xie Jinbai felt too ashamed to face anyone.

He snapped, "I have never once discussed our private bedroom affairs with any of my sworn brothers, yet you..."

"I’m sorry!"

Cui Lingyao was racked with guilt. Her apology was quick and sharp, and she didn’t forget to add in a low voice, "What I told Chen Minrou... I wasn’t making fun of you, I was..."

"You were what?" Xie Jinbai grabbed her wrist. His thumb slowly caressed the delicate hollow of her wrist bone as a smile that wasn’t quite a smile played on his lips. "Why don’t you tell me? What is this ’sense of brokenness’ you mentioned?"

Cui Lingyao: "..."

Her face burned with shame. She was in a daze, feeling the kind of social death that comes from having a secret fetish exposed in public.

"Go on, tell me," Xie Jinbai said, tightening his grip on her wrist. "What did you mean by ’something that needs to be savored’ and is ’hard to describe in detail’?"

"..." Cui Lingyao lowered her gaze, pretending she hadn’t heard him.

Seeing she still refused to speak, the amusement in Xie Jinbai’s eyes began to fade.

"Then let me ask a different question."

Gripping her wrist, he pulled her into his arms. His voice grew heavy. "Tell me. Do you like seeing me cry because it makes you feel powerful? Because you enjoy the thrill of having me wrapped around your finger?"

"No," Cui Lingyao denied at once. "I’ve never thought that. Minmin asked why I forgave you so easily after such a short time, and that’s why I told her all that."

’So, the real reason she forgave me... was because she likes to see me cry...’

Xie Jinbai pieced the logic together, and his expression grew dark.

He lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. A humorless smile touched his lips. "How about this? I’ll cry for you right now, and in exchange, you tell me the truth. What do you say?"

’This concubine... is it possible to not take her?’

’If I don’t, will her life be in danger?’

For days, these two questions had tormented Xie Jinbai, leaving him unable to eat or sleep.

’If taking a concubine and fathering a child is truly the only way to save her life... then what is he supposed to do?’

Their eyes met.

With her chin held fast, Cui Lingyao had no choice but to meet his gaze.

To her astonishment, she saw that in the time it took to speak a few sentences, the rims of the man’s eyes had visibly reddened.

Soon, those eyes—usually so deep and unreadable, so impossible to fathom—welled up with a sheen of moisture.

’He seems to have figured out my weakness.’ He had absolutely no qualms about humbling himself.

When he said he would cry, he wasn’t bluffing. He could produce tears in an instant, clean and precise.

There was not a trace of the cold arrogance of a man whose power shook the court, who was sharp and unstoppable, who stood above all others.

Cui Lingyao’s heart skipped a beat. She hurriedly cupped his face. "Why are you crying all of a sudden? I’m not that awful. I don’t need to see you cry to be happy."

"Is that so?" Xie Jinbai’s lips curled faintly. "In my eyes, you’re far more awful than that."

’She had finally dropped her cold facade. She was finally willing to look him in the eye.’ But Xie Jinbai found he could no longer summon much joy from it.

He had been tormented by her for too long.

She strung him along, toyed with him.

She never let him lose hope completely, but she also refused to respond directly to his affection.

Hot and cold, near and far, over and over again.

A slap in the face would be followed by the faintest hint of her affection and care.

Take this moment, for instance. Looking at the expression in her eyes, who could say she didn’t love him?

If this were any other woman, Xie Jinbai would have assumed the most malicious of intentions. He would never have tolerated being manipulated to such a degree.

But she wasn’t just any other woman.

He closed his eyes. "You’ve lied to me too many times. I can’t tell when you’re being truthful and when you’re not."

Cui Lingyao’s expression faltered. She murmured, "I wasn’t lying about what I just said."

"Can I believe you?"

Xie Jinbai grabbed her hand and pressed it to his cheek, his gaze locking onto hers. "Some of the most skilled interrogators in the entire Great Yue Dynasty are under my command. They have ways of making you confess the truth without ever breaking your skin or bones. So tell me, should I believe your words, or should I believe the answers they pry out of you?"

His eyes were bloodshot, like a cornered wolf about to risk everything on one last, desperate gamble.

When Cui Lingyao had been a wandering spirit, she had witnessed his methods of interrogation firsthand.

Of course, she believed he wouldn’t use physical torture on her, but those other methods...

Those ruthless officials had countless ways to torment a person.

Whether out of fear or disbelief, Cui Lingyao’s expression slowly went blank.

Just then, the carriage came to a stop.

Unbeknownst to them, they had arrived home.

Outside, dusk had fallen, and the cold wind whistled.

Inside the carriage, the two remained locked in a tight embrace.