Chapter 48: Determined Not to Look Back

Chapter 48: Chapter 48: Determined Not to Look Back

He just stood there stiffly, letting her kiss him.

During that period, Xie Jinbai never lost his temper with her.

No matter how outrageous she was, he let her do as she pleased.

Later, after she recovered from her illness, those days of acting out without a care for the consequences were gone forever.

It was after this bout of smallpox that he seemed to realize just how important a proper and official status was. The very day she recovered, he came to her home to propose marriage.

He didn’t wait a moment longer.

After they were engaged, he could enter her courtyard openly and justifiably.

Too many memories were surfacing, and a bitter feeling welled up in Cui Lingyao’s heart.

She sighed softly. "The world is unpredictable, and people’s hearts are fickle."

Across from her, the smile on Shen Tingyu’s face had vanished at some point. Seeing her wistful expression, he refused to consider who that sigh was for.

He reached out, covering the back of her hand with his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I’ll go with you to the Zhao Family’s home tomorrow."

Cui Lingyao’s fingers stiffened for a moment, but she didn’t pull her hand away. She slowly nodded. "Alright."

Shen Tingyu smiled and added, "But if you want to see Chen Minrou, you might not get the chance."

"...There will be a chance."

A helpless look appeared in Cui Lingyao’s eyes. "If this ’warding-off-illness’ banquet was truly his idea, then he’ll naturally arrange for me to meet Chen Minrou."

They both knew exactly who this ’he’ was.

This was a test from Xie Jinbai.

He was practically showing his hand.

Of course, Shen Tingyu knew this as well.

His lips thinned slightly. "In that case, if you do see Chen Minrou, can you remain perfectly composed and act like you’re complete strangers?"

Cui Lingyao answered without a second thought, "I can."

’If I can’t even do that, what’s the point of hiding my identity? I might as well just go back and confess everything to Xie Jinbai.’

The two words were firm and forceful.

They represented her unwavering resolve to sever all ties with Xie Jinbai.

Shen Tingyu’s heart stirred. He stared at her for a long time before finally asking, "May I ask why you fell into the water back then... and why you’re unwilling to go back and reveal yourself to him now?"

In the eyes of the world, she and Xie Jinbai were a deeply devoted couple.

And Xie Jinbai certainly acted the part of a man deeply in love.

A noble legitimate prince from birth, with dazzling military achievements, control over the army, and immense power.

The position of Crown Prince was well within his grasp.

To be his principal wife was to be the future Empress.

What on earth could be the reason that, after this miraculous rebirth, she would abandon a position of power above all others? Even knowing that Xie Jinbai hadn’t forgotten her in three years and still professed his undying love, she still refused to reveal her identity and return to his side.

She was even willing to marry him, a man she had only just met, as a matter of convenience.

He was curious about this, and Cui Lingyao didn’t hide it from him. "Three years ago, when I fell into the water, it was because his concubine pulled me into the lake with her. It was a winter lake, with a thin layer of ice on the surface. The moment I fell in, I lost consciousness. When I opened my eyes again, I was in Pei Shuyao’s body."

She omitted the details about the system and the modern world, carefully selecting what she could say. She then asked him, "You’ve probably heard about how on the day he married his concubine, he made me serve wine to the newlyweds, haven’t you?"

Shen Tingyu had, of course, heard about it.

He nodded gently, a look of heartache in his eyes. "No matter what, he shouldn’t have humiliated you like that."

Cui Lingyao didn’t have the energy to figure out how much of his comment was meant to stir up trouble for Xie Jinbai.

She just thought, ’What a coincidence.’

Because she felt the exact same way.

No matter what hidden reasons there were for him taking Li Wanrong as a concubine...

...the humiliation and heartbreak were all too real.

"As Princess Consort Yu for three years, the pressure was immense, especially concerning heirs. The Empress disliked me, believing I had usurped the position that belonged to her niece. The affection from the husband who shared my bed was also fading day by day. And outside, there were always noble ladies eager to marry into the manor. Li Wanrong was one of them."

"Considering the situation back then, if I were still alive, Xie Jinbai’s rear court would likely be filled with wives and concubines by now."

Cui Lingyao’s tone was very light, as if she were talking about something that had nothing to do with her.

These were her true thoughts.

This was what she truly believed.

’When I was still alive, Xie Jinbai took a concubine without a moment’s hesitation. For the sake of an heir, he couldn’t withstand the Empress’s pressure and allowed Li Wanrong to enter the household. He was even willing to trample on my dignity as the principal wife just to please the newcomer and show off his favor.’

’Once that precedent was set, everything else would have followed naturally. Countless families, hoping to secure a place in the future Emperor’s harem, would have rushed to act on the news. For all sorts of reasons, his rear court would have soon seen a second woman, then a third... even a thirtieth wouldn’t have been impossible. And as for me, the Princess Consort, if my dignity could be trampled by the first newcomer, it could certainly be trampled by the second and third as well.’

’It’s just that I died the day after the first newcomer entered the manor. My death caught him completely off guard, and at that time, his love for me still remained. With my death, that love transformed overnight into intense guilt. And so, I became his unforgettable white moonlight. And so, for my sake, Xie Jinbai hasn’t allowed another woman into his rear court for three years.’

’But the premise for all of this is that I am dead. If I hadn’t died, things would be completely different. As new women entered the manor one by one, I would no longer be the only one to share his bed. The love that was already fading would have soon been buried by time. Until the affection between us was completely gone.’

’Actually, if things had followed that path, Xie Jinbai would have had heirs. It’s just that my death was too sudden. That’s what made it so hard for him to accept. After all, he’s had a smooth-sailing life. Whatever he wants, he gets. Uncertain factors were simply not supposed to appear in his life.’

’My death taught him a harsh lesson. It made him realize that not everything is under his control.’

’...This is good, too. This way, I have a chance to redo the mission and get another Hundred Diseases Pill to save myself.’

Cui Lingyao lowered her gaze, hiding the emotion in her eyes. "I don’t want to live a life of fighting for favor with a group of women in the rear court. Since he couldn’t have only me, then in this second chance, I have no intention of getting entangled with him again."

This explanation was perfectly reasonable.

There are all kinds of women in the world. Some seek power and status, some seek wealth and riches, and some just want a soulmate to live a simple life with, sharing meals day in and day out.

She was the latter.

After being disappointed, she was unwilling to repeat her past mistakes.

It was perfectly normal.

’She has made up her mind not to turn back.’

Shen Tingyu savored her answer, the corners of his lips curling up involuntarily. He felt the taut string in his heart slowly loosen.

"Good," he said, looking at her. "I will help you."

’I will help you...’

As his voice registered, Cui Lingyao looked up to meet his gaze.

Those beautiful, almond-shaped eyes were intensely focused.

Shen Tingyu’s heart skipped a beat. He released her hand, reached over to refill her teacup, and asked in a gentle voice, "You woke up on the afternoon that Pei Shuyao was given the seductive powder, is that right?"

"That’s right." Cui Lingyao nodded.

With his answer confirmed, a glint flashed in Shen Tingyu’s eyes. He said, "By that calculation, you’ve only met Xie Jinbai once. Although I don’t know why he suspects your identity, he definitely hasn’t truly confirmed it."