Chapter 66: Realizing More Each Day How Much I Love You

Chapter 66: Chapter 66: Realizing More Each Day How Much I Love You

Xie Jinbai said, "Li Wanrong was poisoned. The Empress was behind it. She meant to harm you, but I turned her own scheme against her, redirecting it to her niece."

’The Empress... tried to poison me?’

Cui Lingyao’s eyes widened. "Why?"

’In our three years of marriage, I never once defied my mother-in-law.’

’Whenever I visited the palace for festivals or New Year’s, I was always respectful and proper, never daring to show the slightest neglect.’

’When we were married for over two years without an heir, the Empress suggested her son take a concubine. I agreed immediately, without the slightest protest.’

’I thought I was a thoughtful daughter-in-law in every respect.’

’Aside from failing to produce an heir, what was wrong with my character or my conduct?’

’So what if I came out of nowhere and took the position of main wife from her niece? When Xie Jinbai insisted on marrying me, didn’t the Empress eventually give her approval?’

’During those three years, she always treated me passably on the surface.’

’She was never particularly warm, but there was no indication she secretly wanted me dead.’

’—And if I died, would it really improve her son’s reputation to be known as a widower whose first wife died an early death?’

Cui Lingyao asked in disbelief, "Just because the Princess Consort couldn’t bear a child?"

"...No."

’She still refused to admit her identity, even though the pretense between them was utterly shattered.’

Xie Jinbai almost let out a bitter laugh.

He closed his eyes, his voice hoarse. "I thought so, too, at first. But I later discovered that wasn’t it. She wanted you dead, and it had nothing to do with you bearing an heir."

Before Cui Lingyao could press for details,

he began to recount the hidden details of what had happened back then.

"When I first wanted to make you my main wife, the Empress was vehemently against it. She was determined to foist Li Wanrong on me. I had to petition my father, the Emperor, for a decree to arrange our marriage. That was how our engagement was settled. You should know this part."

Cui Lingyao knew that, of course.

But she reminded herself that she was Pei Shuyao now. She was only standing here listening to him because he had insisted, and, as it happened, her curiosity had been piqued. She wanted to hear about the past.

Playing the part of a detached listener, she simply remained silent.

Xie Jinbai looked at her. "What I never told you," he said, "was that there were originally two imperial marriage decrees. The other was drafted personally by the Empress. She offered a compromise: you and Li Wanrong would marry into my residence on the same day, with equal standing. Whichever of you bore the first son would become the main wife."

"...?!"

Cui Lingyao’s head snapped up, her brow furrowing instinctively.

"Don’t be upset. It’s not like I agreed to it,"

Xie Jinbai smiled and reached out to smooth the space between her brows. "The Empress pressured me repeatedly, but I never agreed to something so absurd... It’s just that back then, I believed she was my birth mother. Defying her so brazenly... I couldn’t help but feel terribly guilty."

Cui Lingyao was so stunned she felt as if she were listening to some unbelievable tale. She completely forgot to brush away the finger caressing her brow.

’What did he mean, ’I believed she was my birth mother’?’

Xie Jinbai gave a self-mocking laugh. "You heard me right. The Empress is not my birth mother. But I didn’t know that back then."

Back then, he had married his wife while shouldering the guilt of having defied his mother.

"Not long after we married, the Empress brought up me marrying Li Wanrong again. Her reasoning was that Li Wanrong had waited for me for years—something everyone in the Capital knew. No respectable noble family would want to marry a girl in her position, so she could only marry me... I still refused."

Xie Jinbai leaned in, gazing into her eyes, and softly called her name.

"I really love you. I was sure of my feelings even before we were married, and after we wed, each day made it clearer just how much I loved you."

He said, "I really love you."

Four words, spoken softly, yet with great force.

She took in every word.

This was the first time Cui Lingyao had ever heard him say he loved her. She couldn’t begin to process the feeling in her heart.

’He was always so proud, so aloof, so far above it all.’

’They had known each other for five years and been married for three. His affection level for her had reached one hundred percent—what the system had certified as an undying, true love.’

’And yet, even with all that, he had never confessed his feelings so plainly.’

’The word ’love’ itself.’

’It just didn’t seem like a word he was capable of saying.’

"It’s true," Xie Jinbai said, watching her as a faint smile touched his lips. "I never once considered letting another woman come between us."

’They had been so in love back then.’

’The girl who had been bold enough to wrap her arms around his neck and demand a kiss even before they were married had only grown bolder after he’d married and spoiled her.’

’In the bedroom, she was a sweet, clinging thing, both imperious and wonderfully domineering.’

’He adored the feeling of being needed by her.’

’He thought that since she loved him so much, if he were to take another woman, it would be like plunging a dagger into her heart. He was afraid it would wound her deeply.’

’If she were wounded, she would cry.’

’And she would never again cling to him with that adorable, bossy arrogance.’

’He couldn’t do that.’

’He couldn’t hurt her.’

’He couldn’t make her cry.’

"Yaoyao..." Xie Jinbai’s eyes burned. He forced a smile and coaxed her in a hoarse voice, "Come here. Let me hold you, just for a moment, alright?"

Cui Lingyao shook her head, about to refuse without a second thought, but in the next instant, an arm locked around her waist, pulling her into his embrace.

’The way he held her was different from three years ago.’

One hand clasped her lower back, the other cupped the nape of her neck. Their bodies were pressed together so tightly there wasn’t a sliver of space, and he held her with a force that left her no room to move.

Cui Lingyao stiffened her neck and struggled, but she quickly heard a muffled grunt of pain.

She froze. "...You?"

"Ngh..." Xie Jinbai buried his face in the crook of her neck, nuzzling her gently. His voice was muffled and hoarse. "I was gravely injured. An arrow went straight through my chest. It won’t heal anytime soon."

Cui Lingyao’s body went rigid.

’That’s right.’

’Before I came to Great Yue, the system told me he was seriously injured. If it hadn’t stepped in, he might very well have died young.’

’I never thought it was an arrow through the chest.’

’An injury like that could be fatal even with modern medicine.’

’—He really almost died.’

It felt as if a giant hand were squeezing her heart. An ache shot straight to her eyes, and Cui Lingyao was on the verge of tears.

She blinked rapidly, trying to force back the tears, just as the man’s voice sounded again by her ear.

"It hurts so much,"

His face was still buried in her neck, and his voice came out muffled. "I almost died, Yaoyao. If you came back to life and discovered I was gone, would you have been sad for me?"

"..." Cui Lingyao’s lashes trembled.

A hot tear she had held back for so long finally escaped and slid down her cheek.

Xie Jinbai, completely oblivious, inhaled her scent, his voice raspy. "Just let me hold you. I’ve missed you so much."

’He had missed her so terribly.’

A warm, wet drop slid across her neck. Cui Lingyao’s breath caught. Her lips parted as if to speak, but she forced the words back down.

She remained stiff in his embrace.

After a long moment, Xie Jinbai finally lifted his head from her neck.

The rims of his eyes were still red, but it didn’t look as if he’d been crying. It looked more like he’d been desperately suppressing his emotions.

"Are your feet getting sore?" he asked, his gaze lowered. "Should I carry you so we can sit?"

’He was the very definition of someone who’d take a mile if you gave him an inch.’

Cui Lingyao cursed him in her head, but her face remained impassive as she shook her head. "If the Prince has said all he needs to, then I shall take my leave."

Anger sent a sharp, twisting pain through Xie Jinbai’s chest.

’He had said so much.’

’And she was utterly unmoved.’

’All she wanted was to leave.’

’All she wanted was to escape!’