Chapter 64: Explosive Entrance

The trio had made their way into Rolfcons territory.

“Holy moly ravioli… Look at all those soldiers!” Penelope hissed, looking back at the quivering Pinklia and motionless Emily.

“How are you not freaking out about the literal demon that was wanting to be your son?!” Pinklia asked incredulously, still rattled from the encounter with Adam that was mere hours ago.

“I’m a fast moving modern woman, can’t get bogged down by things like demonic pacts and hot holy knights interrogating me.” Penelope retorted with her usual jokey attitude, having firmly reestablished her protective layer of irony.

Emily quickly wrote a note and handed it to Penelope.

“Why are we moving towards the soldiers? Miss Julia appears frightened.”

“Relax Ems, if Henrek’s directions were accurate we should be close to Badlubrain’s fort, and the blue version of Julia… Actually wait how will your command access handle that?” Penelope pondered out loud. Emily cocked her head and scribbled down a note.

“I am authorised to serve one Julia, not several.”

“Fair enough.” Penelope shrugged, looking back through the bushes to see when the march of soldiers stopped.

They were on their way to rescue Bluelia, or Twolia, the one that was frozen in the fortress awhile ago now.

Names are confusing with all these Julia’s around.

…

“Ravoli moly holy…” Barney exclaimed as he saw the two armies muster at opposite ends of the lake.

Utarou, Bluelia, Redlia, Henrek and Barney had set up with three rifles, the cannon base being deemed inoperable and three rifles being considered more than enough fire power to cause a landslide.

The garrison was prepared with the rest of the weapons fully loaded, courtesy of Utarou’s new home grown red mana gel, much to Redlia's wrath.

Though, most things caused her to get angry.

“I can’t fucking believe you grew so much of it…” Redlia grumbled, looking back at the barrel of mana gelatin they’d brought along, with several more barrels back in Dryholm.

Utarou knew how to use his meat efficiently, after all it was the one resource he had in spades.

It was also the only thing he had going for him other than Dryholm being slightly better off with him than without him, though he had been trying to learn how to extend the limits of his Perfect Immortality even further.

“Keep quiet, looks like they’re bringing their wizards out now…” Henrek mumbled as he and Bluelia monitored the battlefield.

Bluelia was finding that she could intensify the light reaching her eye, giving her absurd vision, while Henrek was just trying his best.

“Are you sure? They look like… Oh nope yeah they’re wizards… Big crystal orbs too woah.” Bluelia remarked as she stared out of her telescopic eye at both sides of the conflict.

“Aren’t those fuckers going to just see us here?” Redlia growled as she pushed Bluelia aside, copying her telescopic eye trick for herself.

“That’s what we brought two for. Barney, fire.” Henrek commanded, calmly aiming the rifle at the wizard on the Burtcons side.

“Aye aye.” Barney replied dutifully, aiming at the wizard on the Rolfcons side.

At the same time, they fired.

The beam of light was intense, neither army had a moment to react to the explosion, but they knew one thing for sure.

Someone had fired at them, and there was a very clear opponent just across the lake who could’ve done it. Neither of them quite realised they’d both been shot at the exact same time of course.

It took all of thirty seconds for the horns of war to be blown.

“Alright, we shouldn’t have to worry about any reconnaissance over here for a while. Sit back and watch the fireworks.” Henrek declared, a dark grin growing on his face.

“Yeesh, you’re acting like they did something to you.” Utarou remarked as he proceeded to sit back.

“Archos Oldsman tried to kill my wife and daughter when I was attempting to negotiate with him. You were in a cell at the time.” Henrek explained bluntly, earning the awkward bluster of both Bluelia and Redlia.

“Well I think we should step back a bit anyway, c’mon the missus made some sandwiches for us.” Barney said quickly changing the topic of conversation, he didn’t like seeing his friend so hateful.

“Urgh, no offence but I’m still feeling bloated from her trying to grow back my finger…” Redlia moaned.

“Yeah watch your figure tubby.” Bluelia sneered, pushing past Redlia to walk next to Barney. Henrek sighed as he watched his two sisters squabble and got up, pulling the rifle with him.

“Did you have siblings in that other world of yours?” Henrek asked casually, the group retreated out of sight as the battle raged on.

“Just a brother, but he died back in 2011.” Utarou shrugged.

“I… I have no idea what that means.” Henrek replied, having no concept of the Gregorian calendar.

“Died when I was a kid, was a fair few years older, didn’t know him well since he was usually in his room until he got run over by a truck. He did show me Tokyo Mew Mew though, so you can thank him for showing me the light of monster girls!” Utarou declared triumphantly.

“Right… So being a freak runs in your family then.” Henrek laughed as he looked towards Rolfcons, where the other piece of Bluelia was being held.

Soon they’d be able to go and rescue her.

Entirely unaware that she had already been saved.

…

“CRYO UPSEPTIA!” Penelope cast, freezing the two remaining guards at this Rolfcons castle and waltzing in effortlessly with Pinklia and Emily.

“By the Saviour! Monsters!” A servant girl squealed as Penelope and co walked past.

“Heh, boo.” Penelope mocked, flicking her finger towards the terrified servant who promptly fainted.

Emily handed Penelope a note.

“Why are we storming a modified dwarven fortress?” Emily asked, noting the old design and how it had been heavily modified for human usage.

Penelope wrote back.

“We’re finding a friend, now take us to the secret dungeon.”

Emily read the note and cocked her head, scanning the hallways before suddenly turning 90 degrees and walking to a seemingly inconspicuous looking wall.

It had a painting on it with a golden and ornate frame. Emily immediately bent the gold with her hands, ripping it off the wall and revealing a dwarven switch. After flicking it down, the mechanisms began to whir and immediately ripped open another portrait on the opposite wall revealing a stairwell to the dungeon.

“She’s scary…” Pinklia admitted, as she watched the unnerving golem return to them.

“Yeah but unless any dwarves come to get her then she’s only going to listen to us!” Penelope smirked, covering her mouth so Emily couldn’t read her lips.

Emily noted this and made as unimpressed of a facial expression as her aperture eyes could allow.

Walking down the stairs, the trio noticed the temperature suddenly drop.

Frost crawled up the stairs as they reached the heart of the dungeon.

At the bottom, the answer revealed itself.

Bluelia, frozen and left behind, hadn’t simply resigned herself it seemed.

There were dozens of separate ice spikes with Bluelia shaped holes in them where she had managed to escape, with the last one being a frosted dome with a pale blue Bluelia shivering in its centre.

“W-what the hell?” The pale Bluelia asked, barely audible from behind the thick frost, her body rigid and filled with shards of ice.

“Oh crap, hold on! Ember on ignitus!” Penelope cast a small plume of fire appearing from her hands and quickly raised the temperature within the dungeon, while Emily watched with her usual curious stare and Pinklia looked around in horror as the ice spikes began to melt.

These weren’t just random icicles that had formed.

These were other parts of this pale Bluelia that had been deliberately and specifically frozen.

She’d been fighting to escape for a long time it seemed.

Eventually, the dome was cracked, and the pale Bluelia inched her way out, looked at Pinklia and Emily and sighed.

“Utarou already found more monster girls huh?” She laughed before passing out.

“CRAP! EMILY! HOT WATER STAT!” Penelope screamed, turning to Emily, focusing on maintaining temperature so she didn’t accidentally burn anyone in the room.