Chapter 241: Love in Torture

The palace had never felt this quiet. Han Shuying stood before the open window of her chamber staring toward the distant mountains.

Beyond the palace walls, the evening sky had turned the color of old blood, and clouds gathered over the northern horizon.

Something was wrong– She couldn’t tell what it was, but she could feel it in the way her heart raced for no reason at all.

The Imperial messengers had stopped coming. The guards stationed near the eastern gates had been replaced twice. Even the servants whispered when they thought no one was listening.

And then, just before sunset, a rider had arrived at the palace carrying news from the northern road. The imperial convoy had been attacked.

Han Shuying tightened the straps of the leather armor around her wrists. She had already made the decision to go check on her father and stop the assassin Empress Lihua had no doubt sent.

Behind her, the doors to her chamber opened.

"Shuying."

She turned.

Empress Lihua stood in the doorway. Her expression immediately told Han Shuying that she already knew what she intended to do.

"No," Empress Lihua said. "I won’t let you go to him."

Han Shuying frowned. "I didn’t even say anything."

"I thought you said he was getting what he deserved after neglecting you for years," Empress Lihua continued. "Your father is not worth the trouble." She stepped further into the room, closing the door after her.

"I know..." Han Shuying already felt frustrated. "I don’t think I can go through with it. At the end of the day he’s still my father."

"A worthless one—"

"Is better than a dead one," Han Shuying finished. "I know I said I didn’t care before, but..."

Empress Lihua took her hand. "Forget about him..." she cupped her chin, "you already have me. And there’s no need to prove yourself when you’re with me, because I love you just as you are."

Han Shuying pulled away. "I know, and I’m grateful for that."

Empress Lihua let her hand fall limp by her side. "But, you’ll still go after him. Won’t you? Is there anything I can do to keep you here with me?"

Han Shuying raised her eyes slowly to the Empress. "Are you asking me to choose between you and my father? You know that’s unfair."

"What’s unfair is leaving me, who has been by your side."

Han Shuying finally saw an expression she didn’t think the Empress was capable of having on her face. It was a mixture of grief and something eerily close to hopelessness.

Her and Empress Lihua’s relationship had always been a complicated one. They weren’t entirely lovers that were head over heels for each other. Just simply two people whose darkness found comfort in each other.

"Maybe it’s time for us to go our separate ways," Han Shuying whispered, feeling her heart plummet into her stomach. "I did swear my loyalty to you, but maybe we’re beginning to have different goals."

Desperation made Empress Lihua grab her hand again. "We still have the same goal, Shuying! It’s always been the throne and having enough power to protect ourselves. You know I’ve only ever done all this for you."

Han Shuying lifted her gaze to her. "Have you?"

Empress Lihua blinked severally. "What do you mean?"

"You’ve never done anything for anyone but yourself," Han Shuying answered. "I was just a girl deprived of affection and you took advantage of that."

"Of course not!"

Han Shuying put her index finger on Empress Lihua’s lips, ultimately shutting her up. "The only thing I’ve ever admired in you was your ability to be yourself, whether others thought it good or not. Don’t try to play a saint right now."

Empress Lihua smiled before stepping away, like the mask she wore had been pulled off her. "Fine. You were vulnerable and needed someone to give you purpose so you could feel like you were worthy. And I did just that." She tilted her head to the side. "It wasn’t that I loved you..."

"Empress—"

"Shhh." Empress Lihua shook her head. "You wanted to hear the truth, now you must bear it. I saw a woman that was willing to do any and everything just so she could feel valued. I admit...I took advantage of that. But I don’t feel like that anymore."

"Please, don’t stand there and act like you’re madly in love with me."

Empress Lihua stared at her with huge round eyes. "But I’ve come to love you, Shuying. I meant it when I asked you to marry me. We might not have started off in the conventional sense, but we can make it work."

Han Shuying looked at her. "I might’ve actually considered it if you didn’t lie to me." She walked over to her in slow calculated steps. "It’s not that you love me enough to marry me, it’s that you trust me to be the only person that you can keep under your control."

Empress Lihua made her lips quiver, like she would burst into tears at any given moment. "Did all the time we spent together mean nothing to you?"

Han Shuying grabbed her chin in a bruising grip. "Maybe it’s time we stopped pretending with each other. From now on, let’s never have anything to do with each other."

Empress Lihua smiled. "Is there another woman?"

Han Shuying blinked in disbelief. "What?"

"I don’t mind if you love someone else, I’ve never had a problem with sharing." She looked down at Han Shuying’s hand on her chin. "Hurt me all you want, but I’ll have you even if it’s against your will. Run away and I’ll drag you back to the palace by the hair."

A dark cold feeling swept over Han Shuying. "Are you going to imprison me like you did your own son?" Han Shuying taunted, feeling a dark energy start to engulf her. "Or have me slowly poisoned to death?"

Empress Lihua darted her tongue out and wet her lower lip. "Which one would you prefer, my dearest Shuying?"