Chapter 122 – He Is Weak

Noxx stared at the pile of books in front of her, her expression growing sourer by the moment.

One lay open on the table, with two more to her right and several others the queen had placed to her left.

Noxx hadn't even finished reading the first page when Elyra returned from another bookshelf with a new book in her hands.

"This one might be useful to you too."

Noxx's gaze followed the book until it came to rest on top of the others. Then she looked up at her.

"What are you trying to accomplish with all this?"

Elyra gave a small laugh as she adjusted her chair on the other side of the table.

"Teach you a few important things."

"Such as?"

"As a future princess, you need to understand how the kingdom works. You can't rely on someone to explain everything each time you have to make a decision."

Noxx lowered her gaze to the open book.

She had gone from listening to stories about Matt to dodging a scythe, and after the queen had forbidden her from going out to look for him, she was now stuck in a library reading about things she didn't even want to know.

"I'm not interested."

Her answer made Elyra smile a little wider.

"Honestly... you're getting more and more like him."

Noxx's fingers went still on the page.

"I'm not Matt."

"I know."

"Then stop comparing us so much."

Elyra rested an elbow on the table, watching her with a calmness that was beginning to annoy Noxx as much as that pile of books.

Noxx was about to add that she had no intention of becoming a princess either, but the words caught in her throat as she remembered her conversation with Matt.

She had promised him.

She would stay in the kingdom so he could return to his family.

At the time, she had been thinking about Matt, about how badly he wanted to go back and how she could do something to help him. She hadn't spent much time imagining what her days would be like if she had to spend them with the queen.

Now, looking at the books, she was starting to get an idea.

'Damn it...'

Elyra's laughter made her press her lips together.

"What?"

"That expression."

"What about it?"

"Your spirit is so much like his was during his first few weeks here. It's almost like having him sitting across from me again."

Noxx pushed her chair back and stood.

"I'm not interested in hearing that."

"And yet, you didn't seem so upset when we were talking about him a little while ago."

The queen's gaze followed Noxx as she stepped to the side of the table.

"You were even laughing."

Noxx opened her mouth, only to close it again when she realized that any answer would probably prompt another of those smiles.

The queen noticed far too much.

How she spoke, when she looked away, what made her laugh...

"Do you always have to analyze everything I do?"

"I'm only trying to get to know you."

"Well, you could try something else." Noxx crossed her arms. "Aren't you supposed to be the queen? Shouldn't you be working or dealing with your kingdom's problems?"

"That's why I have people I trust."

"To do your work for you?"

"So I can delegate certain tasks when other matters require my attention."

Noxx gave a small laugh, though she didn't look at all amused.

"Right. I suppose your most important job is bothering some ordinary vampire who doesn't even want to be reading these books."

Elyra stopped looking at the pile and turned her eyes back to her.

"You're misunderstanding me."

"Oh, am I?"

"First of all, you're not just some ordinary vampire. You're my daughter."

The ease with which she said it left Noxx speechless.

"And right now, nothing matters more to me than each and every one of my daughters."

Noxx looked away.

It would have been easier to answer if the queen had laughed, if she'd said it to mock her, or if she'd tried to force her to come closer again.

But the statement had sounded far too natural, as though, to Elyra, there was nothing to discuss.

"I..."

Noxx shifted her fingers slightly against her own arm.

"I don't really feel like I'm your daughter..."

When she looked back at her, she found the queen watching her in silence.

Her body tensed almost immediately.

She moved her feet a little farther apart and uncrossed her arms, keeping an eye on Elyra's hands. She had already learned that the woman could pull out a scythe even in the middle of a conversation about hugs.

This time, however, no weapon appeared.

"I have a theory about Matt," the queen said.

Noxx blinked.

"What?"

"About that soul-separation technique."

The girl kept her attention on her, though it took a few seconds before she stopped expecting an attack.

"When he managed it with Iris, I thought he might have gotten lucky. A fortunate coincidence, some detail even he didn't fully understand..."

"Matt doesn't accomplish things through luck."

The interruption slipped out before Noxx could stop herself.

Elyra looked at her, and a small smile returned to her face.

"Exactly."

Noxx frowned.

"You're living proof that I was wrong. He did it once, then did it again with you. That means he really has mastered the technique."

For a moment, Noxx didn't know what to say.

She had prepared herself to defend him, not to hear the queen agree with her.

"And if he could do it," Elyra continued, "then there's a good chance that, over the next few years, other boys who were turned into female vampires will want to try it too."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"More than you might think."

The queen pointed to the chair Noxx had left behind.

Noxx looked at the seat, then at Elyra, and ended up staying where she was.

The queen didn't insist.

"Back when Matt and Iris shared a body, he was quite a proud young man."

"What does that have to do with...?"

"He also really enjoyed the food at the castle. He could spend a good part of the day keeping track of what they were going to prepare, and if he liked something, he'd try to get more of it."

Noxx watched her suspiciously.

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. That's exactly the point."

Elyra brought her hands together on the table.

"Did you see what he had to do to get me to let him leave the kingdom, my daughter?"

The question made Noxx look away.

There were things she knew about Matt and others she had barely managed to understand. When she tried to search for certain moments, she simply couldn't find what she expected.

"No."

"No?"

"I couldn't find those memories."

The queen tilted her head slightly.

"That idiot Iris probably swallowed them up and took them with her," Noxx added, annoyed.

Elyra stared at her. This time, the surprise on her face was clear enough for Noxx to notice.

"Then... you copied some of Matt's memories into yourself?"

"More or less."

"More or less?"

Noxx grimaced slightly.

She didn't like the way Elyra repeated every answer, as though she had to explain everything carefully just to get the queen to leave her alone.

"I'd say I learned by watching his memories. It's not like I lived through all those things."

"You could watch them?"

"Yes, but it was tiring."

The queen didn't respond, so Noxx ended up adding:

"There was too much. Sometimes I'd try to keep watching and end up falling asleep."

Elyra lowered her gaze a little. Her fingers went still on the table, and for the first time since they had entered the library, she stopped smiling.

Noxx waited a few seconds. Then she frowned.

"You didn't believe me?"

The queen looked back at her.

"About what?"

"When I told you I didn't want to devour Matt."

Elyra gave a small laugh.

"That's not what I was thinking about."

"Well, you made a pretty weird face."

"You just told me something interesting."

"You find everything interesting."

"When it comes to all of you, yes."

Noxx huffed, but the queen went on before she could answer.

"To get me to let him return to his family, Matt had to agree to several of my demands. One of them was to come up to me on his own and kiss me."

Noxx froze.

"What?"

"He also had to go along with other embarrassing requests in front of some of my guards."

Heat rushed to her cheeks.

She didn't know what bothered her more: imagining Matt going through that or how calmly Elyra was talking about it.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because his reaction was different."

"What the hell are you getting at?!"

Elyra kept her eyes on her.

"When he shared a body with Iris, whenever I gave him an order he found humiliating, I could see it on his face right away. He'd grimace, look at me with hatred, or try to make it clear how much he despised what I was asking him to do."

Noxx clenched her fists.

"Well, of course he did."

"But that day, it was gone."

The girl went still.

"What was?"

"That reaction."

The queen paused for a few seconds before continuing.

"He still wanted to leave. That hadn't changed. He was willing to do whatever it took to return to his family, but I expected the same resistance as always. Even if he obeyed, I expected it to hurt his pride."

Noxx listened without answering.

"And it wasn't there in the same way."

"Maybe he was just sick of you."

"It's possible."

The answer annoyed her more than she had expected.

Elyra didn't seem to be trying to defend herself. She spoke as though the possibility that Matt hated her or was fed up with her was a detail she had already taken into account.

"But then he returned to his world," the queen added. "And I began to notice other things."

Noxx narrowed her eyes.

"How?"

"I had vampires watching him."

"Of course you did..."

Elyra ignored the comment.

"In just a few days, he went from enjoying the best food he could get to settling for anything. He ate less and barely seemed to care what was in front of him."

"He has other things to worry about outside this place."

"I know."

"He doesn't have a bunch of people making whatever he wants."

"That would explain what he could get, my daughter. Not necessarily how he reacted when he ate it."

The girl fell silent.

Elyra picked up the book she had left on the pile and placed it in front of her, though she didn't open it.

"Matt could try to hide a lot of things. It annoyed him that I knew he liked anything about the castle, but sometimes all I had to do was watch him take a bite of his favorite food."

A small smile appeared on her lips.

"After he separated from Iris, that satisfaction stopped being so obvious. According to the reports, he often ate as though he just wanted to get it over with and get back to whatever he was doing."

Noxx lowered her gaze to the table.

She tried to remember the times she had seen Matt eat. His expressions, the things he said, whether she'd ever seen him look forward to a dish with the excitement the queen was describing...

But she didn't want to start searching for examples that would prove her right.

Especially not while Elyra was watching her like that.

"And now you're going to say you know better than anyone what's going on with him?"

"I never said that."

"You're implying it."

"I'm saying I've noticed changes."

"Everyone changes."

"Yes."

The queen let a moment pass.

"But some changes stand out more when they happen after you split off a part of your soul."

Noxx felt an uneasiness she couldn't explain.

She looked at the books again. Then at the empty chair, where just a few minutes earlier she'd been thinking only about how to get out of this conversation.

Now she felt as though the queen had managed to drag her into another topic without her noticing.

One she didn't like either.

"First you say I'm like him," she muttered. "Then you start talking about Iris, his memories, what he eats... Can't you leave him alone?"

Elyra didn't look away.

"I'm worried about him."

Noxx gave a dry laugh.

The word had sounded almost absurd after everything else she'd heard.

"You're worried about him?"

"Yes."

"You keep him under surveillance when he manages to get home, you make him do embarrassing things before you let him leave, and now you're sitting here talking about the faces he makes when he eats."

The queen remained silent.

Noxx felt heat return to her cheeks, though this time embarrassment had very little to do with it.

"You're a fucking gossip, a busybody, and a pervert."

Elyra raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what you call loving him so much? Keeping tabs on everything he does and forcing him to do whatever you want?"

The queen watched her for a few seconds. Then she answered just as calmly as she had placed the first book on the table.

"If Matt were strong enough, he could impose his will."

Noxx stared at her.

"But he's weak."

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