Chapter 18: The Unsellable Pets

The new courtyard was an absolute triumph for business, mostly because the local cultivators were completely terrified of it.

By mid-morning, all twenty seats in the backyard were filled. However, nobody was speaking above a whisper. Cultivators of various sects sat rigidly on the jade stone benches, sipping their tea with robotic precision. Every time a leaf fell from the glowing weeping willow, three people flinched.

They were all desperately compressing their spiritual energy, terrified that if they accidentally had an epiphany and broke through, Lin Fan would revoke their patio privileges.

Lin Fan stood at the edge of the pond, holding a basket of Sect Master Lu’s latest culinary experiment. Lu had attempted to make baguettes, but had somehow created bread sticks with the structural density of forged steel.

Lin Fan tossed one into the water.

A Golden-Scaled Void Dragon surfaced, caught the steel-grade breadstick, and crunched it in half with a sound like a boulder snapping in two. It chewed happily.

"Good koi," Lin Fan nodded.

Behind him, Elder Mo—who was currently sipping Green Heart Tea and actively fighting off his second enlightenment of the week just to stay seated—watched the legendary beast devour the indestructible bread and shivered.

Suddenly, a shadow fell over the teahouse.

A massive, screeching pressure descended on the dirt road outside. The teahouse windows rattled. A gust of foul, beastly wind blew the front door wide open, sending the bandit leader’s carefully stacked loyalty cards flying across the room.

"Who dares?!" Crimson hissed, instantly materializing by the front door with his hand on his sword hilt, his red eyes blazing.

Outside, a monstrous, three-headed eagle had landed squarely in the middle of the street. Standing atop its back was a man draped in luxurious, fur-lined robes, holding a spiked whip. His aura was suffocating, thick with the scent of wild beasts and arrogant authority.

"I am Elder Ku of the Myriad Beast Sect!" the man bellowed, his voice laced with spiritual power that made the reformed bandits clutch their ears. "My spirit beast sensed the aura of a supreme draconic bloodline originating from this lowly shack! Bring forth the beast, and I shall spare your lives!"

Lin Fan walked out from the courtyard, dusting breadcrumbs off his hands. He looked at the three-headed eagle. He looked at Elder Ku.

"No pets inside," Lin Fan said. "Park the bird."

Elder Ku stared at him, genuinely taken aback. "Impudent mortal! Do you know who you are speaking to? I am a Grandmaster Beast Tamer! I can command the kings of the forest! I—"

"I don't care if you command the local squirrel population," Lin Fan interrupted, pointing at a wooden sign the bandits had painted that morning. "The sign says no outside animals. It scares the customers. Are you buying tea or not?"

Ku’s face flushed purple. He leaped off the eagle and stormed into the teahouse. "I am here for the draconic beast! I will not be denied!"

He marched straight past Lin Fan, his spiritual senses guiding him directly toward the backyard. Crimson stepped forward to intercept, his blade drawn an inch, but Lin Fan held up a hand.

"Let him look," Lin Fan sighed. "If he wants to see the fish that badly, fine."

Ku burst onto the patio. The twenty seated cultivators, recognizing the notoriously cruel Beast Tamer, held their breath. Ku ignored them, his eyes locking instantly onto the crystal-clear pond.

His arrogant sneer melted into an expression of sheer, unadulterated awe.

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"Heavens..." Ku whispered, dropping his whip. "Golden-Scaled Void Dragons. Not just one... a whole school of them. They are infants, yet their aura is flawless. The legends are true!"

Ku spun around to face Lin Fan, his eyes burning with frantic greed. He reached into his spatial ring and slammed a massive, heavy sack onto one of the jade tables. The sack spilled open, revealing a glittering pile of top-tier spirit stones, glowing with blinding spiritual density. There had to be thousands of them.

"I will buy one!" Ku declared, his voice trembling with excitement. "Name your price! Ten thousand high-grade stones? A million?! I will give you three of my sect's peak mountains for a single fish!"

Lin Fan’s eyes widened at the mountain of wealth. A million high-grade stones. He could retire. He could buy an actual mansion. He could hire someone to sweep the flour for the rest of eternity. He reached his hand out toward the bag—

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

The world around Lin Fan plunged into a bloody, translucent red. An alarm so loud it rattled his teeth went off inside his skull.

[CRITICAL WARNING: ILLEGAL SALE OF SYSTEM ASSETS DETECTED!][System Directive 7: Environmental decorations (including Void Dragons) are strictly bound to the Teahouse property and cannot be sold, traded, or leased.][Violation Penalty: 500,000-Volt Heavenly Lightning Bolt delivered directly to the Owner's spleen, followed by immediate business liquidation.]

Lin Fan’s hand stopped dead.

His pulse pounded in his ears. The spleen. It upgraded to the spleen.

His corporate joy evaporated, replaced by the sheer, cold terror of imminent, high-voltage death. He looked at the bag of stones. To his System-traumatized eyes, it didn't look like wealth anymore. It looked like a bomb.

Lin Fan violently swatted the bag of high-grade stones off the table. The glowing gems scattered across the jade floor like worthless pebbles.

"They are not for sale!" Lin Fan shouted, his voice cracking slightly from the adrenaline of a near-death experience.

Elder Ku froze. He looked at the discarded fortune on the ground, then up at Lin Fan’s pale, furious face.

He threw away a million high-grade stones without a second thought?! Ku’s mind reeled. He doesn't care about wealth! To him, these divine beasts are priceless companions! His bond with them is completely incorruptible!

"You fool," Ku snarled, his greed overtaking his reasoning. "If you won't sell, I will take! A mortal has no right to hoard divine beasts!"

Ku began weaving hand seals at blinding speed. A massive, glowing golden collar made of pure spiritual energy manifested in the air. "Supreme Subjugation Ring! Submit to my will, beast!"

He threw the glowing collar directly at the largest Void Dragon, which had just surfaced to see if Lin Fan had dropped any more bread.

The twenty cultivators in the courtyard scrambled backward, throwing up defensive shields, bracing for the apocalyptic clash between a Grandmaster Tamer and a Void Dragon.

The golden collar shot toward the fish.

The Void Dragon blinked its large, golden eyes. It opened its mouth.

It let out a small, wet burp.

A tiny bubble of pure, concentrated spatial void drifted out of its mouth. The bubble floated lazily through the air and bumped into the Supreme Subjugation Ring.

The golden collar didn't shatter. It simply vanished. Erased from existence entirely by the void energy.

The bubble kept floating. It drifted past the edge of the pond and gently booped Elder Ku on the nose.

POP.

The kinetic force released from the tiny bubble was roughly equivalent to being hit by a runaway mountain.

Elder Ku was instantly launched backward. He flew perfectly horizontally, completely ignoring gravity, skipping across the surface of the pond like a skipped stone. He smashed headfirst into the trunk of the glowing weeping willow tree with a sickening CRACK.

He peeled off the bark and fell face-first onto the jade stones, completely unconscious, his expensive fur robes smoking slightly.

The courtyard was dead silent.

The Void Dragon, seeing that no bread had been thrown, slapped its tail in annoyance and swam back to the bottom of the pond.

In the corner, Crimson was writing furiously on a small notepad. "A bubble..." he muttered intensely. "Defeat the enemy with a bubble... The compression of killing intent is staggering. I must practice this."

Lin Fan exhaled a long, shaky breath, the red System warnings finally fading from his vision.

He walked over to the unconscious Beast Tamer. The man was still breathing, though his ego was undoubtedly permanently shattered.

"Bandit Leader," Lin Fan called out.

The leader rushed out to the courtyard, mop in hand. "Yes, Owner!"

"Drag him inside, put him at a table, and wait for him to wake up," Lin Fan ordered, pointing at the scattered high-grade stones. "And pick up this garbage. Leave exactly two low-grade stones on his table to pay for a standard cup of tea. If you leave even a copper piece more than the menu price, I will personally throw you into the pond."

"Yes, Owner!" The bandit leader saluted, thoroughly terrified by Lin Fan's utter disdain for vast wealth. He grabbed Elder Ku by the ankles and began dragging him across the pristine jade stones.

Elder Mo, watching the entire exchange, wiped away a single, reverent tear.

He crushes a Grandmaster with a pet fish, refuses a king's ransom, and still only demands exact change for a cup of tea, Mo thought, his Dao Heart swelling with profound respect. Senior Lin's dedication to the rules of his humble shop is absolute. He is the very embodiment of the Natural Way!

Lin Fan looked at the wet trail Elder Ku’s clothes had left across the jade tiles.

"And mop that up," Lin Fan groaned, rubbing his temples. "I swear, nobody respects the floors."