Chapter 131 Shitty Game and Shitty Fight
Chapter 131: 131 Shitty Game and Shitty Fight
It was a BGM I had heard somewhere before. If you were a fan who watched the cartoon called Pocket Monsters on television as a child, or if you had played the original game based on that cartoon, there was no way you wouldn’t know this distinctive background music.
I was about to retort, asking if this was for real, but soon, a light with the same wavelength as the brilliant glow that had enveloped Eleonora and me began to construct a rectangular barrier around us—one that looked just like a tennis court.
And finally, an interface appeared that was all too familiar.
[ The Crusaders serving the Goddess have challenged you to a battle! ]
"Oh, really?"
As I clicked my tongue in disbelief, the SD Character slyly tossed the yellow rat doll she had been hugging onto the Nobel-chan doll sprawled on the floor and spoke bashfully.
[I’ve been consuming some media related to those bread stickers that are popular these days, hehe...]
I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her for the past few days; turns out she didn’t show up because she was busy playing games? While someone was spending their time worrying and suspecting if some scheme was brewing or if something bad had happened...
Someone else was leisurely playing games?!
It was a situation that inevitably made my blood boil.
"Mmmph?!"
-That bastard!
-Does he know who that person is?!
"Who gives a shit."
Getting even more pissed off, I grabbed the back of Eleonora’s head—who was currently sucking on my cock, begging for cum—and jammed it down hard onto my meat-pole as I scanned the interface the SD Character had clumsily displayed.
[ Attack ]
[ Skill ]
[ Observe ]
[ Item ]
Of course, she said she copied it a bit, but since it hadn’t been long since she encountered it, the interface basically mimicked the structure of an RPG inside my head. No, calling it a copy was an insult to the original; it was just embarrassing.
[Fufu! If I copied it completely, there would be copyright issues, so I constructed a custom interface just for you, Master Breeder! How is it?]
Aside from the lack of a "Run" option, this incredibly crude interface was indeed, as she said, a screen all too familiar to me, but...
"So, what am I supposed to do with this?"
[What do you mean, what?! You have to operate that interface and defeat those humans trying to create a threat to Master Breeder’s farm! I specifically didn’t apply the R-18 patch for the sake of your mental stability, you know?]
Schlick, Schlick, Gluck..Slurp—
The naked Eleonora sucking my cock right now is already R-18 itself...!
Even now, this nympho is shaking her ass back and forth, seemingly begging me to look, actually enjoying this situation...!
"Wooooooah!! God is, with, us!!!"
"Dedicate, your hearts! He is watching uuusss!!"
Anyway, right now, the Crusaders were striking down with their swords to break the barrier before my eyes.
Outside the barrier, the Orcs, stimulated once again by our duel took advantage of the fact that the Crusaders’ numbers had been reduced by a whopping two. They began to pressure the Crusaders with their numerical superiority.
According to Eleonora, each one of them was a warrior worth a hundred men, close to Master-rank level. The fact that two of them were out of the picture was a golden opportunity that couldn’t be missed.
-Damn it, we have to get out quickly... What is this?!
-We can’t go outside! We have to help our brothers right now!
The two Crusaders, completely isolated from the dogfight happening outside, were at a loss, faced with the suddenly shifting tide of battle and their completely trapped state.
I also took advantage of the moment the Crusaders were confused to quickly figure out this interface and system, pressing the attack button first.
[ Eleonora - 100 ]
Usually, in game systems like this, you set the party leader’s action first, or the turn priority goes to the playable character with the highest agility in the field.
Seeing Eleonora’s name come up first, the latter possibility seemed higher.
"More importantly, what is this 100? Level? HP? MP?"
Normally, current stats should be displayed in HP/MP order, but there was nothing like that. Just a pure white gauge and the number 100.
[To figure that out, just attack! Try attacking first! This is a tutorial, so just ram it in without pressure!]
What an incredibly inconvenient system and operator, seriously.
My life is on the line if things go wrong here.
Anyway, I selected the interface with Eleonora’s name on it and designated the Crusader I wanted to attack—the one who was steadily glaring at me, unlike the other guy struggling to escape the barrier.
"Slurp... Nngh?!"
Eleonora, who had been leisurely sucking my cock and lost in her service regardless of the urgent situation, suddenly flashed her eyes open and looked up at me.
It was the look of a true slave seeking permission.
When I nodded to signify my permission, Eleonora detached her mouth from my cock, bowed her head politely just like before, and spoke.
"I will return shortly. Although it is Master’s command, I will make sure to receive ample punishment later for interrupting my service...♥"
Then, smooch, she kissed the tip of my cock, grabbed her greatsword, and in the blink of an eye, leaped toward the Crusader I had targeted through the interface.
—Sir Eleonora?! Wai—
KABOOOOM—!!
Regardless of what the Crusader was saying.
"Fufu, to die by such a lewd bitch, what a disgrace for a Crusader."
Eleonora swung her massive tits ostentatiously as she brought her greatsword down like a club on the Crusader I had targeted.
His comrade, who was still fooling around with the barrier, hurriedly tried to join in and defend his partner from the crisis, but it was already too late.
Ruuuumble—!!
Soon, a tremendous cloud of dust rose from the enemy camp, proving the overwhelming violence, and simultaneously, a brilliant light burst out in all directions from within the dust.
In other words, the kind of effect you’d see when a defeated Pocket Monster returns to its ball.
[Oh! As expected of the strongest Sow! She finished off a Crusader in a single blow! Or maybe not? Is that obvious?]
"Is he dead?"
[I told you earlier, a patch for Master Breeder’s mental health has been applied! Even if it’s you, Master, you wouldn’t want to see a person get mashed into a bloody pulp, right?]
Then she should have done that last time too. Back then, she just left it alone whether there was a dismemberment murder or not! Of course, I knew that and didn’t look back, but she really is an incredibly unkind creature in many ways.
As the dust settled, what was visible was Eleonora, still in the posture of slamming her sword into the ground, pouring out love juices—Pshhhhhh—and a single Crusader collapsing helplessly against the barrier.
The one I had set as the attack target was nowhere to be seen; he had vanished without a trace.
"Master~!"
Eleonora glared at the fallen Crusader for a moment, then immediately came running to me, her massive breasts bouncing, and hugged me. But something was strange.
[ Eleonora - 40 ]
Something had decreased significantly.
Just a moment ago, it was clearly 100, but the figure shown now was 40.
"Don’t tell me this is..."
[Yes! It’s a balance patch I set up to prevent Master Breeder from wrecking havoc in this other world!]
"Haa... Master, cum... cum... please give reward cum to this lowly sow...♥"
This was a cost. While you usually pay a certain amount of cost to use skills in games, in Eleonora’s case, she just did a basic attack, yet she paid a cost for it.
"What kind of shitty game is this?!"
[But if I didn’t do this, Master Breeder, you would definitely go, "Hehehe, I’m going to capture slaves using Eleonora as a vanguard!" and do something absurd, wouldn’t you?]
"..."
Put like that, I have nothing to say. Does that mean I’m just a pig farmer and not a villain conquering the world?
It’s a truly cunning system, seemingly designed considering my personality—that if I had to repeat this every time I fought, I’d just give up on world conquest even if I have the strongest sows in the world.
But even so, isn’t it too much to consume cost for just one basic attack? It’s fine now since the opponent is in a groggy state from Eleonora’s single strike, but...
If this follows the game system, won’t I be helplessly exposed to enemy attacks like this?
When I protested, the SD Character appeared wearing a suit and glasses that a secretary might wear (I almost threw up), tapping a blank blackboard with a stick.
[Because the cost is high, Eleonora can take two actions per turn as compensation! Also, her basic attack applies as an Area of Effect (AOE) attack on the opponent’s field! Look at that!]
Following the SD Character’s words, I turned my gaze and sure enough, the Crusader who was presumed to have been hit by the aftershock of Eleonora’s strike was groaning, stuck in the barrier.
[Besides, originally that Crusader should have died too, but since this is a tutorial, I specially kept him alive as a teaching aid! Is it still a shitty game!?]
"No, it’s a God Game."
Who said life is all about the turnaround?
Giving it a Nobel Prize right now wouldn’t be enough.
"So, how do I refill the cost?"
[You’ll understand if you check the skill tab once!]
Skill?
Eleonora said she was just rolling around on the streets before catching the princess’s eye and becoming a knight, so I heard she never really learned swordsmanship properly.
Since she’s the world’s strongest swordswoman, every single strike is practically a fatal wound, but I opened Eleonora’s skill window with a slightly expectant heart, wondering what kind of skills she would have.
Skill ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
Sow Swordsmanship (P)
Lewdness (P)
Sow’s Pride (P)
Exhibitionist (P)
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
"They’re all passive skills!?"
Shitty game!
I wanted to scream, "Aren’t there any active skills?" but upon thinking about it, checking the effects of the skills came first. So, I pressed Sow Swordsmanship (P) first.
[ Sow Swordsmanship(P): The Sow Eleonora consumes 60 internal semen to deliver a Grandmaster’s overwhelming destructive sword strike to the enemy camp!]
[ Additional Effect: If attacked during sexual intercourse, consumes 10 semen to launch a counterattack! ]
[ Lewdness (P): Like a lewd and corrupted Knightess, Eleonora can engage in sexual intercourse regardless of the location! She replenishes 30 semen from the Master Breeder through sexual acts! ]
[ Sow’s Pride (P): Even if she is a lewd, corrupted Knightess, a Sow Knight is still a Knight! She becomes immune to Crowd Control and Status Effects inflicted by enemies! ]
[ Exhibitionist (P): Like a nympho who goes into heat while flashing her pussy stark naked anywhere, she uses her lewd body to focus the enemies’ attention on her body! ]
It was truly a spectacle, one hell of a spectacle.
But setting that aside, there is one thing I’m really curious about...
"Why is there no HP gauge?"
[Huh? Do I have to put that in too? I didn’t include it because I figured she wouldn’t get hit anyway? In the first place, there’s no way the Trainer would get attacked!]
The SD Character widened her eyes roundly as if asking what nonsense I was spouting.
[Since even Master-rank swordsmen get their heads chopped off in a single blow by that Sow, there is no existence in this world that can beat this Sow with a sword, you know? As I told you before, this system is to prevent Master Breeder from using the Sow to wreak havoc in this world, not a system meant for you to actually play a game! You keep forgetting your role, but you are a Breeder, Master, not an Adventurer or a Hunter!]
Do. You. Un. Der. Stand?
Well, if it was really going to flow like a game, that Crusader sprawled out over there wouldn’t have been unable to move to help his comrade in danger.
Even in games like this, when an ally gets attacked, they usually heal or do something afterward; they can’t interfere while the attack is happening.
The fact that the defense does whatever it wants certainly makes it a broken game.
I can only attack when my turn comes, but those guys don’t seem to have that concept.
The defense can do whatever they want on either side, but I have to attack while watching the turns?
If this isn’t a shitty game, what is it?
"Aah... Master, cum... please give me reward cum. Give cum to this traitorous sow, Eleonora, who cut down a former comrade-in-arms again today...♥"
But regardless of that, Eleonora was already spreading her twitching pussy wide with both hands, demanding my cock.
[Here! A sow cannot attack without cum, you know? Hurry up and feed that sow some cum, whether it’s in her pussy or her asshole!]
Since she put it that way, what choice do I have?
"Eleonora."
"Yes! Yes, Master! Is it the mouth? The asshole?! Or the pussy? The womb is already warmly preheated and ready to accept your cock!"
"Mount me. Show me that Sow Swordsmanship or whatever."