Chapter 960: Nothing Goes According to Expectations (14)

An entertainer should love their own work.

If someone laughs about their breakout project saying things like, “Wow, that drama was so cringey,” or “That promotion song was seriously embarrassing,” then what does that make the fans who genuinely loved it back then?

“So you’re saying you’re embarrassed by it now?”

“I’m not.”

I flared up at Ri Hyuk’s comment.

“I’m a person without shame. Even if I send a video letter to a cat! Even if I get drunk off nonalcoholic ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) wine! I’m still a person without shame.”

“The fact that your dark history keeps coming up one after another says otherwise.”

“I said no.”

That was when Jongwan, who was behind the wheel, spoke up.

“We’ve arrived.”

In front of the KNet building.

Normally the road leading into a music show broadcast would’ve been quiet, but today it was packed with people carrying giant telephoto cameras.

Entertainment reporters too.

Click click—

Even before we got out of the car, shutters were already firing nonstop.

The sound was like hundreds of bees buzzing at once, and I slowly turned my head.

“Manager.”

“Yes, Wooju?”

“Is there maybe a back entrance?”

Everyone burst into laughter.

“I’d even take a doggy door. As long as my head and shoulders fit through, I can squeeze in. I learned it from MyTube.”

“What are you, a cat?”

Ri Hyuk urged me on.

“Just get out already. People are waiting.”

“No. Wooju no wanna get out.”

“Junghyun hyung.”

When Ri Hyuk called him, Junghyun activated with a low “Vrrrr” sound and looked over.

“I do not obey the commands of those weaker than me.”

“Kyaaak!”

“I-I shall obey.”

After suffering a sonic attack straight to the ears, Junghyun grabbed one of my arms.

Jiho grabbed the other.

“No! I’m not getting out...!”

“Hey now. Don’t throw a tantrum, little Wooju.”

While Jiho scolded me sternly, Biju tickled my neck with a doll headband.

In the end, I was shoved out of the car by the younger members.

Click—

Chrrrrrrrrk— click!

I stepped out looking like someone being dragged into a police station, then struck a pose.

“Wooju!”

“Yes!”

“Right now your hand is covering Rabbit Uncle!”

“......”

With sorrowful eyes, I lifted the rabbit doll into view, making everyone burst into laughter.

“Greetings, my grown-up friends! It is I, Rabbit Uncle!”

The people holding cameras stared at each other.

“Wow, the doll really talks.”

“Is that actually ventriloquism? It’s not one of those voice boxes you squeeze? How does he do that?”

“The outfit is so cute. It seriously looks like a debuting idol.”

While Rabbit Uncle, dressed in adorable clothes, posed for the cameras, someone asked—

“But why is one side of Uncle’s whiskers all curled up?”

“Yesterday, while eating cake with the NewBlack children, Uncle singed his whiskers on a candle! Good children must always be careful around fire!”

Everyone burst into laughter again.

After diligently answering the rest of the interview as Rabbit Uncle—

“Does anyone have any questions about NewBlack??”

“......”

A brief silence.

Under our sparkling gazes, the reporters rummaging around with their cameras started desperately wracking their brains.

“Q-question...”

The younger members and I stared at them with cold eyes.

‘So you came here without preparing anything.’

‘They really did just come to film Rabbit Uncle.’

As they awkwardly stumbled over themselves, someone finally shouted—

“...How does it feel debuting as Rabbit Uncle’s original body, Wooju?!”

An icy silence descended.

The moment the reporter asked that question, the other reporters and fansites immediately piled onto him.

“Original body? Who just said original body?”

“Please respect the lore, Reporter Kim. You’re destroying children’s dreams right now.”

“Rabbit Uncle is clearly standing right there. What do you mean by original body?”

Surrounded by criticism telling him to read the room, the reporter shrank down like a speck of dust.

“S-sorry...”

Meanwhile everyone else laughed like they were having the time of their lives.

We waved with wistful smiles.

“Well then... we should get going....”

“No, wait! We have questions! We’ll ask questions!”

“It’s okay... We already know.... We’re merely shadows cast by Rabbit Uncle....”

“No, that’s not it...!”

The press burst into roaring laughter as we walked away looking emotionally wounded.

Today’s music show schedule was extremely short.

We weren’t actually appearing on the music show itself. We were only filming the specific segments they needed.

“I honestly didn’t expect you to come. Thank you so much!”

The PD in charge of KNet’s music show personally came to shake my hand—

...then hesitated for a moment before instead shaking Rabbit Uncle’s tiny little paw.

“I wasn’t sure which hand I was supposed to shake....”

“I think you can just shake both.”

“Come now, let us shake hands!”

The PD clasped both my hand and Rabbit Uncle’s paw together and gave them a gentle shake.

“Since you came despite your busy schedule, we’ll do our absolute best to make sure Rabbit Uncle and NewBlack are as comfortable as possible. Everything should be finished in about two hours, and then you’ll be free to head home.”

“Thank you for taking such good care of us.”

The moment we entered the waiting room, we spotted balloons and a banner on the wall reading:

[Happy Bunny Day]

The KNet writers brought in a cake.

“We prepared a cake too, as a token of appreciation.”

“Thank you!”

The writers immediately covered their mouths.

“Oh my god!”

“He’s seriously adorable...!”

“The rabbit talks! It’s exactly the same as on TV!”

Then they held out their hands toward the rabbit.

“Please shake my hand!”

“Come here!”

“Then can I get a hug...!”

“You grown-ups may come too!”

“Wow... this is genuinely healing.”

While the writers happily cooed over Rabbit Uncle, my eyes met theirs.

The sight of me standing there with a sudden existential crisis on my face made everyone burst into laughter again.

I waved my hand dismissively.

“It’s okay. If all of you are happy, then I’m happy too.......”

Amid the laughter, we blew out the cake candles and took commemorative photos together.

One of the writers cautiously approached me.

“Um, Wooju?”

“Yes?”

“Could we maybe get Rabbit Uncle’s autograph...? My niece absolutely adores him.”

“Oh, sure. But could you hold the autograph paper for me?”

“?”

While the writer held the paper up in midair, I moved Rabbit Uncle.

“Uncle practiced signing autographs yesterday just for the children!”

Rabbit Uncle gripped a marker and elegantly swept across the page with bold strokes, leaving everyone gaping.

The minions gasped in admiration.

“Wow. Look at him being absurdly competent for no reason.”

“If I had a talent like that, I would’ve achieved world peace, won the Nobel Peace Prize, and published my autobiography.”

“So that’s what Wooju hyung was practicing last night.”

The moment Rabbit Uncle finished signing, requests flooded in from every direction.

“M-me too....”

“I’m the father of a five-year-old. Please save me....”

“Our little gremlin at home is tormenting us. If we have Rabbit Uncle’s autograph, our household will finally know peace....”

Their eyes looked genuinely desperate.

Now I understood why even the broadcasting staff, who were usually careful about approaching us, were acting this enthusiastic.

‘Parenting is hard, huh?’

‘Please save us.......’

After the autograph session ended, the main PD explained the schedule.

“Did you happen to read the script?”

“Yes. I memorized it.”

“We’ll be filming a segment where Rabbit Uncle and his animal friends introduce the singers appearing on today’s music show. It’ll be around three to five minutes long. Once preparations are done, we’ll move straight into prerecording.”

“Got it~”

After that conversation, we started getting ready as well.

Once the makeup artists finished touching up me and the younger members—

“In all my years, this is my first time doing makeup on a doll.”

Managers, stylists, and makeup artists all gathered around the tiny stuffed rabbit.

One makeup artist with deep expertise in decorating diaries and dolls put on gloves like a surgeon entering the operating room.

“Bbam bbam bbararam~”

Jiho started humming the BGM from a famous medical drama, and I immediately signaled to Junghyun with my eyes.

The disruptive element vanished at once, but the makeup teacher shook with laughter for so long that the process slowed down anyway.

Rabbit Uncle was fundamentally a plush toy.

That made it difficult to apply actual makeup, so most of the work involved attaching things like fake eyelashes.

Junghyun asked,

“Uncle, how do you feel?”

I wiggled Rabbit Uncle’s paw.

“I am frightened. But once... this entire process is complete, Uncle shall be reborn as a brand-new rabbit. No longer Rabbit Uncle, but a wildly popular Rabbit Oppa beginning his second life as—”

Shaking his head, Ri Hyuk mimed placing an anesthesia mask over Rabbit Uncle’s mouth.

“Gweeeek.......”

Everyone burst into laughter at the sight of Rabbit Uncle sticking out his tongue and pretending to faint.

The makeup teacher looked like she was about to cry laughing.

“Wooju.......”

“I’m sorry. It’s an occupational hazard.......”

The moment I got an opportunity for roleplay, I simply couldn’t resist.

After that, Rabbit Uncle completed a clean idol-style makeover and was reborn as Rabbit Oppa.

Biju spoke up.

“Hyung, can you try moving him once?”

He showed me various dance moves and told me to imitate them, so I moved Rabbit Uncle accordingly.

After reinforcing the parts that shook too much, we waited for the production team’s call while staring at the cue sheet on the wall.

“We should go greet everyone....”

Since we’d come to a music show, we had to make the rounds saying hello.

“There really aren’t many seniors or peers here.”

“True.”

Even though eighteen teams were appearing today, the only senior group promoting at the moment was Girls On Top with a summer song.

The next oldest group had debuted in 2016.

Junghyun spoke up.

“But if you think about it another way, Rabbit Uncle is technically a rookie debuting today.”

“T-that’s true!”

“Then shouldn’t we go greet absolutely everyone?”

“Hoh.......”

The rabbit doll raised a paw and stroked his chin thoughtfully.

NewBlack.

An idol group beloved by the public for being approachable.

But from the perspective of the idol industry, the story was completely different.

– Billboard Hot 100 #1 artist.

– Grammy Awards nominee.

– Year-end chart domination and grand prize sweeps at domestic award shows.

...There was no way a career like that could feel approachable.

They were the kind of existence that became intimidating just by getting close.

Most groups would probably be blown away if Jiho plugged one nostril and snorted too hard.

Which was exactly why the rookie idols nearly died of shock when NewBlack suddenly visited the partitioned rookie waiting room.

“Hello~!”

“Kehk!”

“Hurk!”

“Gweeeek.......”

Some even spat out the kimbap they’d been eating before leaping to their feet.

Rattle rattle—

Not only the singers who had never met NewBlack before, but even those who had were trembling in fear.

‘W-why are they here?’

‘Holy crap, I’m terrified.’

The atmosphere felt like the chairman of a massive corporation making an unexpected visit.

While the rookies swallowed nervously and stared at NewBlack standing before them, Wooju calmly reached behind his back.

And then—

Ta-da!

A rabbit doll popped out.

“?”

“??”

As the rookies stared in confusion, Rabbit Uncle greeted them.

“Hello, friends! I am Rabbit Uncle! Uncle has debuted today, so I came to say hello!”

Everyone burst into laughter.

The tension that had filled the room until moments ago popped like a bubble.

“Hi!”

“Hello, Rabbit Uncle!”

Dressed in sparkling clothes and full makeup, Rabbit Uncle cheerfully chatted with the rookies before speaking proudly.

“Back in my prime, Uncle was a super superstar in the Rabbit Kingdom. I conquered every music show there was.”

“!”

“Is there anything you’re curious about? Uncle can answer everything!”

Mint, a member of the boy group Monthly Boys, cautiously raised his hand.

“Um... I-I’m curious about ending fairy facial expressions.”

“You are curious about ending fairy expressions!”

Rabbit Uncle beckoned Jiho over with a fluffy paw, and Jiho walked over to share some useful tips.

Deadly expressions. Idol-like expressions overflowing with charisma.

‘These are insane tips...!’

‘Damn it, I should’ve recorded this.’

As NewBlack kindly answered their questions, the rookies slowly found the courage to ask more.

Since everything still felt like wandering through thick fog to them, NewBlack strangely felt like a lighthouse.

Granted, it was a lighthouse as tall as the Himalayas and as massive as a black hole, but still.

‘But why are they helping us?’

NewBlack had suddenly shown up to greet them and was now freely handing out priceless advice.

The rookies tilted their heads for a moment before glancing at the people standing behind Rabbit Uncle.

Warm eyes.

There were occasionally seniors who thought, ‘I hope the juniors get to promote in a better environment than we did.’

Apparently, NewBlack was that kind of senior.

People who genuinely loved the idol industry and paid attention to their juniors too.

‘Sunbaenim...!’

Watching the seniors bring out Rabbit Uncle to help shy juniors feel comfortable, the rookies looked at them with emotional eyes.

“Well then, let us meet again next time!”

“Yes, sunbaenim!”

The five members smiled benevolently at the juniors bowing deeply in gratitude.

‘Greeting mission successful.’

‘We finally managed to have an actual conversation.’

The five-member group was overjoyed to finally speak with rookies who usually just screamed and ran away on sight.

Meanwhile...

“Ah.......”

“They’re probably coming to greet us too, right?”

Inside the largest waiting room at today’s music show, the members of Girls On Top were clutching their foreheads.

‘With their personalities, there’s no way they’d skip greetings.’

Girls On Top found NewBlack’s greetings strangely burdensome.

They remembered being somewhat prickly in the past, and the relationship between them had always been a little awkward.

Every greeting had basically amounted to a stiff exchange of “Hello.”

‘Mmm.......’

They hesitated, expecting things to be awkward again, before eventually putting on expressions as serene as Buddha.

‘Let’s not overthink it.’

After the collapse of Hwayi Entertainment, which had operated on Chinese capital, how many hardships had they endured?

Rebuilding the company from scratch with their manager.

Starting promotions all over again.

Then last year, thanks to the popularity of the survival show The Spirit, which featured many girl groups including Scarlet, Girls On Top had finally started rising again.

Knock knock knock—

Creak....

The Girls On Top members awkwardly looked toward their manager.

“W-who is it?”

The manager’s voice trembled slightly. To a newly established company, NewBlack was terrifying.

“Sunbaenim, we came to say hello!”

A cheerful voice rang out.

The members nodded and stood up while the manager opened the door.

And then—

“?”

“??”

Something suddenly poked through the tiny gap in the opened door.

A sparkling rabbit doll dressed like an idol.

‘Cute!’

The Girls On Top members widened their eyes in surprise as Rabbit Uncle dramatically raised one fluffy paw.

Fwip!

Then waved it adorably.

“Helloooo~! I am Rabbit Uncle!!”

The girl group members immediately burst into laughter without resistance.

The greeting with Girls On Top ended warmly.

Things had always been awkward between us whenever we met.

Not because there were hard feelings—there just wasn’t much to say, leading to stiff “Uh, hello” exchanges every time.

But this time it ended nicely.

Now we could at least smile comfortably and greet each other casually in passing.

Since Rabbit Uncle made everyone laugh from the start, the conversation flowed naturally.

“A lot of time really has passed.”

“Yeah. It really has.”

Feeling a strange mix of emotions, we continued walking.

Now that we’d greeted Girls On Top, we were done greeting all the performers.

Next came filming the VCR.

“Uncle! We need courage!”

“Do not worry. Uncle shall teach you a magical chant that grants courage~! Lalalalala!”

“Lalalalala~!”

Wearing animal headbands alongside the younger members, we filmed the VCR introducing today’s music show segments.

We talked about Monthly Boys’ comeback song for June.

We introduced the special stage for the girl group survival show KNet was aggressively pushing with enormous investment.

We also talked about Girls On Top’s song, one of the candidates for first place.

“Great work!”

“This way, please.”

After smoothly filming the VCR without a single NG, we followed the staff to the stage being prepared for prerecording.

“Whoa.”

Jiho gasped.

“They seriously went all out.”

“They really did. The set is gorgeous.”

Usually prerecording stages were decorated by the companies themselves, but this time KNet had poured production money into the stage.

It looked straight out of a fairy tale.

And seated in front of this stage—which looked like it belonged on a children’s program—

“When’s Uncle coming out?!”

“Rabbit Uncle....”

“Rabbit......!”

Were babies clutching tiny Rabbit Uncle dolls in their hands.

Fifty little kids sat there alongside their parents.

‘So cute....’

‘Babies really are beautiful from a distance!’

We exchanged warm smiles with each other.

The staff signaled that we could enter, so we stepped out before the children.

“Hello, children!”

The kids greeted Rabbit Uncle in unison through the microphone attached to him.

“Hewwo, Uncle!”

“Seeing all of you makes Uncle very happy! Did you come watch Rabbit Uncle perform with your mommies and daddies?”

“Yes!!”

“Before today’s performance, shall Uncle make one more promise with you all?”

After making the children promise to listen to their parents and not wander off around the broadcasting station, I rubbed my sore shoulder while waiting for standby.

Then—

“Gasp......!”

“Huuurk!”

The children stared at me in absolute shock.

The younger members did too.

“Why—”

And then I realized where everyone was looking.

The hand patting my shoulder.

It was Rabbit Uncle’s head.

Which meant I had just gone thunk thunk thunk thunk! against my shoulder using Rabbit Uncle’s head.

“......”

I slowly moved Rabbit Uncle and pressed him against my cheek.

“Mwah!”

“?”

“Uncle loves giving kisses to the people he loves! You children should also give your mommies and daddies kisses.”

“!!”

The children nodded like they’d been enchanted before immediately planting kisses on their parents’ cheeks.

The parents smiled blissfully.

Even the directors behind the cameras wore proud fatherly smiles when the signal finally came that preparations were complete.

“Well then, shall Uncle have fun with you all?”

“Yes!!!”

“Music~ cue!”

Today marked the historic debut of the K-pop children’s song “Rabbit Uncle” on a music show.

“Lalalalala~”

“Lalalalala~!”

I could only pray...

...that Souffle wouldn’t laugh too hard when they watched the live broadcast later.