Chapter 109: Deep Thoughts In The Bathroom

After lying on the bed for a while, Elias finally exhaled and glanced toward Natasha.

[We should get ready for the day.]

Natasha nodded, and the two of them stepped down from the bed without looking at each other.

They soon left the room and went about their morning preparations.

Later, while sitting in the bath, Elias leaned back against the edge of the tub and allowed the warm water to surround his body. Steam drifted upward, blurring the room slightly, but his thoughts remained unusually clear.

His life had changed considerably since arriving in Kilmir.

Not long ago, he had believed that he possessed no identity beyond the Crimson Ducal Clan. The clan’s name had defined him, its judgment had determined his worth, and its word had been treated as law – something he could not dare to question, much less deny.

Perhaps that was why he had endured so much without openly resisting.

It was common for people born into noble families to think that way.

Their families decided what they were allowed to know, what they were permitted to hear, and even what they could say. From childhood, they were taught that the family’s interests came before their own, and that obedience was not merely a virtue but an obligation.

Many outsiders believed that defiance was easy. They spoke of rebellion as though one only needed enough courage to stand up and reject everything that had been forced upon them.

But it was never that simple.

Even when Elias had been aware of the clan’s corruption and its biased treatment of him, what could he actually have done? Should he have fought the entire Crimson Ducal Clan? And how was he supposed to accomplish that when he had possessed neither the strength nor the authority to oppose even a single influential member?

Some people claimed that they would rather die than continue living under such circumstances, and the words sounded admirable enough when spoken aloud.

However, choosing death over obedience was not something most people could accomplish so easily, especially when fear, instinct, and the desire to survive were constantly pulling them in the opposite direction.

Defiance, revolution, and revenge all required power.

Without power, they were little more than empty declarations made by someone who had nothing to lose except their life.

Elias had possessed even less than that.

The damn seal on his physique had denied him the strength he needed, leaving him trapped beneath the expectations of a family that had already decided he was worthless.

Yet, despite everything, a part of him had always wanted the Crimson Ducal Clan to accept him.

Who wouldn’t?

He had wanted to be recognized as a true Crimson, just like the others. He had wanted his family to acknowledge his existence without contempt, to look at him without disappointment, and perhaps even to offer him the same respect and affection they gave to those who possessed talent.

Maybe he had simply expected too much.

Now, with his newfound strength, he could at least change their perception of him to some extent.

He was no longer the powerless trash they had discarded without hesitation, and if he continued growing, he might eventually possess enough strength to stand before them without being treated as an insignificant bastard.

But would that truly earn him the respect and love he had once desired?

More importantly, did he still want them?

Elias lowered his gaze toward the water, watching faint ripples spread from his fingertips.

He did not know.

The way he had lived within the clan had begun to weigh heavily on him, especially after he started living here and acting as the head of his own household. The responsibilities were not easy, but they had also shown him something he had never understood before.

He could make decisions without asking for permission.

He could protect people without waiting for someone else to approve.

He could choose where to go, what to pursue, and whom to stand beside.

The trash of the Crimson Ducal Clan, who had never been considered a true Crimson, was now the one fulfilling the king’s decree by marrying the three Cursed Flowers.

The irony was almost amusing.

To be honest, Elias had been furious when the Head Lady had told him that.

He had wanted to reject it, to demand an explanation, and to make it clear that he would not accept being used as a convenient sacrifice.

Yet, for some reason, he had been unable to show that anger.

It had felt as though something inside him had prevented him from expressing it, restraining his emotions before they could fully surface. He still could not explain what had happened, and thinking about it now only made the matter more difficult to understand.

He already had enough problems weighing on his mind.

There was no need to add another.

Elias scooped up some water and splashed it over his face several times, allowing the sensation to interrupt his thoughts. Then, after taking a slow breath, he continued bathing without dwelling on the matter any longer.

Once he had finished, he dried himself and dressed in his black attire, the golden floral embroidery catching the light whenever he moved. He then joined Stella and Natasha for breakfast.

To his surprise, Stella remained silent throughout the entire meal.

She usually filled the room with childish remarks, questions, or some new demand, but today she merely ate while occasionally glancing toward the others. Her unusual quietness made Elias somewhat concerned, yet he decided not to question her. If something was troubling her, she would likely reveal it when she was ready.

After breakfast, Elias fed and bathed Monica before allowing her to examine Stella’s Auracle once more. The examination continued for two hours, during which Monica remained focused on the complicated structure hidden within the three red rings.

When the session finally ended, Elias and Stella left Monica’s room together.

The afternoon had already arrived when Benjamin approached Elias in the corridor. The old butler bowed respectfully before speaking.

"My lord, Olide has sent a carriage for you."

Elias furrowed his brows. "What?"

"Ahem... apparently, he discovered that you were searching for him and has sent a carriage so that you may meet him," Benjamin explained, clearing his throat.

Elias’s expression darkened slightly. "Did I not tell you to search for him in secret?"

"I did do that, my lord, but..." Benjamin lowered his head. "I apologize."

Elias stared at him for a moment before waving his left hand dismissively.

"Forget it, let’s go meet him."