Ch. 277 - Spray Veteran - Ye Qing [1]

Chen Shu was equally speechless. By this point the Husky was already having trouble stomaching any more — and it still hadn't comprehended the skill.He hadn't tried to hide it, either.If the skill was already learned, continuing to feed materials was useless.No point in screwing the country over while gaining nothing himself.

It wasn't until the seventh Flame Blast Beetle Lord material that the Husky finally comprehended it..."That was close..."Xue Yu shook his head. The national stockpile totaled exactly seven — and every last one had been used.If it still hadn't worked, Chen Shu would've had to apply for a different skill entirely.

"Since it's done, I won't linger."Xue Yu rose, shouldered his pack, and departed from Chen Shu's home.

"Awooo~"The Husky bounced around. A new skill had appeared on its panel: [Sustained Assault].

"System option complete. Reward received: [Sustained Assault] +1!"Sustained Assault Lv2: Whenever a skill is released, the damage of the next skill increases by 3%, stackable! Duration: three minutes!One single level had boosted the damage bonus from 1% to 3% per stack. The raw number didn't seem huge, but because it was a stacking skill, the actual effect multiplied several times over.

Chen Shu rubbed his chin, then produced a golden skill book — the divine skill [Clone].He returned to his room, where a pair of innocent, dopey eyes appeared before him. It was Little Yellow.By now, Little Yellow had grown to five meters across. Summoning it indoors would cave the ceiling in — it was already unsummonable at home.

His gaze shifted back and forth between Little Yellow and the Husky, deep in thought.In the end, he gave [Clone] to the Husky.

The Slime's body was too massive. If it learned [Clone], the clones would excel against hordes of common fierce beasts.But the Slime wasn't a pure damage-type contract spirit. Against lord-tier beasts — or even kings — the clones wouldn't contribute much.Hell, it might even crash headlong into its own clones during a charge.The Husky learning [Clone], on the other hand, effectively doubled its damage output. The utility was far greater.

The skill book dissolved. A flash of golden light sank into the Husky's body.

Clone Lv1: Active use. Creates a clone that persists for a duration, inheriting all of the original's skills except [Clone] itself!

A description so simple it was boring — paired with an effect so broken it was obscene.Across the entire country right now, the number of Beast Tamers who possessed this skill could be counted on one hand.Rumor even had it that at high levels, [Clone] could create more than one copy.But it remained only a rumor — no one had ever leveled it that high.This was a divine skill that would never, ever become obsolete!

Unlike [Gigantification], even a Level 1 Clone had game-changing impact."I seriously cannot wait to see the Husky shine!"Chen Shu's mind conjured the image, and a smug, satisfied grin spread across his face.

"Awooo~"The Husky's mouth and legs began pulling in opposite directions again...

...

Early the next morning, Chen Shu headed into the city and hit up the shops, buying every brand of laxative on the market.Thanks to the gaokao, he'd completely run through his old stock.This was essential home-travel-murder-arson[2] material — obviously he had to keep it in regular supply.

By afternoon, Chen Shu was back home.Meticulously, he replicated his original production process from start to finish.One tiny slip-up, and the effects could be wildly different.Ever since alternate dimensions had appeared, the variety of materials was beyond calculation. Even the most brilliant researchers couldn't possibly study every substance's properties inside and out.Chen Shu's laxative was, all things considered, a happy accident.

For two full days, he shut himself in at home."Finally done!"He let out a long breath. On the table, a large mound of black powder had accumulated.Carefully, Chen Shu tipped a tiny pinch into a water glass."Looks like there's no problem!"He sniffed the glass. No foul odor — there was even a faint fragrance. No one would ever guess it was a super laxative.

Just then, his father Chen Ping called out, "Chen Pi! Someone's here for you!"

"For me?"Chen Shu was about to get up when his bedroom door swung open."Kid, what're you up to in here?"An old man with a palm-leaf fan strolled in, unhurried.

"Huh? Old Man Ye!"Chen Shu froze. He hadn't expected Ye Qing to come looking for him personally.[3]

Ye Qing's mouth twitched. When you need something, it's "Grandpa Ye" — when you don't, it's "Old Man Ye," is that it?"Not bad on the gaokao, kid!"Ye Qing plopped down on a stool like he owned the place, patted Chen Shu's shoulder, and gave him a look of approval.

Chen Shu grinned. "Eh, it was alright. Just my usual performance.""By the way, have you filled out your gaokao preference form?""Huh?"Chen Shu asked, "Didn't you say you'd deliver the admission letter right to my door? Why would I bother filling out some form?""..."Ye Qing's eyes bulged. Are you actually mentally ill?If you don't fill out the form, where exactly am I supposed to send the admission letter?!

"Hurry up and fill it out! Huaxia Academy's already open for submissions.""Oh, right!"Chen Shu turned and booted up his computer, ready to submit his preference form.[4]With his score, it was a sure thing — he only needed to list Huaxia Academy and nothing else.

Ye Qing nodded, then casually picked up the water glass beside him and drank it down."What'd you steep in this water? Smells pretty nice.""What?!"Chen Shu spun around, his whole body jolting. The glass was already empty."You drank that?!""What's wrong? Something the matter?"Ye Qing smacked his lips, as if finding the taste quite agreeable.

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing wrong!"Chen Shu flatly denied everything. He kept filling out the form with one eye, watching Ye Qing's reaction with the other.Since the situation was already beyond salvaging, he wasn't about to warn him now.Besides, he kind of wanted to see whether the laxative really worked on a Gold-rank Beast Tamer...

"Right, kid. Any interest in making some money this summer?"Ye Qing's expression remained perfectly composed. "One of my students picked up an alternate dimension mission. Interested in tagging along?"His student was Silver-rank — bringing a Black Iron-rank Chen Shu along was mainly for training experience.

Chen Shu filled out Huaxia Academy's Combat Department on the form and closed the browser.He turned and asked, "What the mission's about doesn't matter. What's the pay?"

Ye Qing said, "Ninety-ten split. You'd get five million!"

Chen Shu frowned. "What kind of mission only pays five point five million?""Huh?"Ye Qing's expression froze for a beat — then it clicked."You've gotta be fucking kidding me — you thought you were getting the ninety percent?!"

Chen Shu asked, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Isn't that correct?"[5]The Nanjiang Bandit had always eaten the meat — since when did he settle for drinking the soup?![6]

"I'll think about it. If I'm so bored my stomach hurts, I'll take it."[7]Chen Shu wasn't particularly interested. five million didn't satisfy him — and even less so two contract spirits with gaping mouths to feed.

"..."Ye Qing's mouth twitched. "So bored my stomach hurts"? What the hell was that supposed to mean?He'd come here wanting someone to mentor Chen Shu through some real combat experience, and the guy wasn't even interested.

He was about to say something more when a gurgling sound suddenly resounded.Ye Qing's eyes went wide. He immediately clutched his stomach, brow furrowing, his face turning distinctly unpleasant.

"Holy shit, that's not right. Even a Gold-rank body gets diarrhea?"Chen Shu asked, all concern, "Old Man Ye, you okay?"

He never imagined it would actually work on a Gold-rank Beast Tamer!"Something's off. This old man's heading out first! If you want the job, call me!"Ye Qing rubbed his stomach, his body slightly hunched.

Just then, he suddenly spun around.His gaze sharpened — the realization hit like a thunderbolt."Something's not right here! My stomach was perfectly fine before... that glass of water?!"

[1] 喷射老兵 (pēnshè lǎobīng): "Spray Veteran." 喷射 (spray/blast out) is crude Chinese internet slang for explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea — the kind that "sprays" rather than merely flows. 老兵 (veteran/old soldier) implies someone who has survived many battles. Together, the title paints Ye Qing — a distinguished Gold-rank retired Huaxia Academy professor and Chief Examiner — as a grizzled veteran of violent bowel movements. The joke is built on the collision of a macho military title with the most undignified bodily function imaginable. The chapter title also mirrors the earlier running gag of "喷洒战士" (Spray Warrior) from Ch84, elevating Ye Qing to "Spray Veteran" status in the same crude taxonomy.

[2] 居家旅行，杀人放火 (jūjiā lǚxíng, shārén fànghuǒ): "Home, travel, murder, arson." A darkly comedic stock phrase — originally "居家旅行，必备良药" ("essential medicine for home and travel") from wuxia fiction, Chen Shu extends it to "killing and arson" because his laxative is, in his mind, a multi-purpose weapon. It encapsulates the Bandit Logic: categorize everything by its potential for chaos.

[3] 有事叶大爷，无事叶老头 (yǒu shì Yè Dàye, wú shì Yè Lǎotóu): "When I need something you're Grandpa Ye; when I don't, you're Old Man Ye." A classic Chinese social observation — the narrator notes that Chen Shu's address for Ye Qing shifts based entirely on transactional need. 大爷 (dàye, "grandpa" — respectful) vs. 老头 (lǎotóu, "old man" — casual, mildly dismissive). The pattern is instantly recognizable to Chinese readers as a microcosm of opportunistic social behavior.

[4] 志愿填报 (zhìyuàn tiánbào): "Gaokao Preference Form." After receiving scores, Chinese students submit a ranked list of university and major preferences through a national online system. The form is binding — universities send admission letters based on these selections. Chen Shu's bewilderment that he'd need to fill it out despite having an "in" with a professor is classic misplaced-bandit-confidence: even the Nanjiang Bandit cannot skip bureaucracy.

[5] 九一分成 (jiǔ yī fēnchéng): "Ninety-ten split." Chen Shu's comedic misinterpretation: Ye Qing's student, a Silver-rank Beast Tamer, would take 90% and the Black Iron newbie takes 10% (earning 5M) — a perfectly normal arrangement. Chen Shu hears the numbers and immediately assumes the 90% is his share. The arithmetic even breaks in his head — calculating 5.5M total when Ye Qing clearly said 5M — because bandit math always rounds up, never down.

[6] 吃肉/喝汤 (chī ròu / hē tāng): "Eat the meat / drink the soup." A foundational Chinese business and social metaphor: eating meat means taking the lion's share, the main profits; drinking soup means surviving on scraps and leftovers. The phrase originates from communal dining culture where the best cuts go to the most important person at the table. Chen Shu's rhetorical question — "The Nanjiang Bandit eats meat; since when did he settle for drinking soup?" — distills his entire worldview into a single proverb: if there is profit to be had, he takes the biggest piece.

[7] 闲的胃疼 (xián de wèi téng): "So bored my stomach hurts." Colloquial Chinese hyperbole for extreme boredom — the idea that idleness is so acute it physically manifests as stomach pain. Chen Shu uses it here to dismiss a 5M mission as something he'd only consider if he had literally nothing else to do — which, for a guy perpetually broke from overspending on contract spirits, is peak performative indifference.