Kyoketsu no hikari [ English ]
The Monster or the Monster
Behind an old, crumbling house, drowned in mud, anyone who saw it from afar would have thought it was either a dead monster or the shit of a monster that had passed by.
There was nothing beautiful about that place.
The walls were cracked, and the old wood creaked with every gust of wind, while mud surrounded the house from every direction. No one ever approached that place, as if everyone had silently agreed to leave it and whatever was inside to die alone.
Inside that house, there was a child sitting.
He was leaning against the wall, his knees pressed against his chest, while tears poured endlessly from his eyes, though he tried to suppress them.
He wiped his face with his hands whenever he felt his crying about to escape.
Then he would look at the door.
Then lower his head again.
Nearby, his grandmother was sitting.
She was crying too.
But she was trying not to make a sound.
She looked at Rio from time to time, as if she wanted to say something to him, anything, but she did not know what she could possibly say to a child his age.
Rio stood up.
His legs were trembling slightly, but he tried not to show it.
He walked toward the room.
Inside, there was a woman lying on a bed, staring out of a window.
Her face was covered in blood, and her body was covered in bruises.
So many bruises.
Rio remained standing at the doorway for a few moments.
He wanted to look at her.
At the same time, he was afraid that she would look at him.
He tried to look at her without letting her notice him.
But she turned around.
She saw him.
"Rio, why are you hiding?"
The child did not speak.
He tried to hold back his tears with his hands and wipe them away, then entered the room with a smile on his face.
A smile that did not resemble his real smile.
"No, I was just looking at you, Mom... and at your beauty."
His mother laughed softly and smiled.
Then she showed him her teeth.
Her mouth was missing teeth.
Many of them were gone.
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Rio's smile stopped.
He stared at her for a few seconds.
Then he looked away.
His mother noticed.
Rio lowered his head toward the ground, and tears began to fall.
He said nothing.
He did not ask her who had done this.
He did not need to ask.
He knew.
His mother tried to stand and approach him.
"R-Rio!"
But when she tried to get up, she fell from the bed.
Rio's eyes widened.
He rushed toward her and caught her.
"M-Mom, are you okay?"
"Y-Yes, I'm fine, my son... I'm just a little tired."
"D-Don't worry, Mom."
He did not know what to say after that.
So he did the only thing he could.
Rio carried her and placed her back in her bed.
He carried her despite his small body and the pain he felt from her weight, but he endured it.
He endured it and carried her.
His body was far too small to carry her.
But Rio did not let go.
Even when he felt that his arms could no longer carry her, he kept holding her.
And when he finally placed her on the bed, he remained standing in front of her.
His mother gently patted his head.
Her hand was trembling.
"Rio, promise me something."
Rio raised his head.
"Y-Yes, Mom. Anything?"
She looked at him.
She was not only looking at the child standing before her.
She was looking at everything he could become in the future.
"Promise me that you will live a good life!"
Rio stared at her in shock for a moment.
He did not understand why she was asking him that.
Why now?
Why was she saying it like this?
Then he replied:
"I promise, Mom."
His tears began falling again.
His mother reached out and wiped a tear from his face.
"And promise me that you will stop crying too."
Rio laughed.
A small, broken laugh.
"I don't think I can."
His mother laughed at him too.
And for a few brief seconds...
There was no old house.
There was no mud.
There were no bruises.
There was no fear.
There was only a mother and her son.
And in that beautiful moment between them...
The door slammed open.
Rio's smile froze.
The monster entered the house.
A creature with a human appearance and a massive build, the strong smell of alcohol rising from him.
He came staggering.
One step.
Then another.
He approached the room and leaned against the doorway.
He saw Rio.
"Rio?"
He did not answer.
"What are you doing in our room?!"
Rio looked at him angrily, but hid his anger.
He wanted to scream.
He wanted to hit him.
But he was a child.
So he swallowed everything.
"Nothing... I was just with Mom."
Rio's grandmother stood behind his father and turned toward him.
"What do you want, old woman?"
She did not answer him.
The grandmother entered the room, grabbed Rio, and pulled him out.
Rio resisted a little.
But he did not want to leave.
He kept looking at his mother.
She was looking at him too.
She said nothing.
But her eyes said everything.
Rio stood in the middle of the house, looking at his father.
"Rio, stay here, please."
Rio kept looking at them.
He wanted to go back.
But his grandmother's hand was gripping his wrist tightly.
The grandmother went to his father, who was taking off his clothes, and approached Rio's mother.
"Woman, take off your clothes."
The grandmother froze.
Then she touched his shoulder.
"My son, please... she's sick. Don't do this. Just for one night. Have mercy on her."
"What? Sick?"
He looked at her.
Then at his wife.
And began laughing.
Rio could hear everything.
Every word.
Every laugh.
Everything.
"So what? I don't care if she's sick."
Rio lowered his head.
His hands were trembling.
"Please, my son!"
"Get away from me, old woman!"
He shoved her until she fell.
Rio's eyes widened.
He ran toward her and held his grandmother.
"Grandma!"
His father looked at him.
He looked into those eyes.
They were different.
They were not the eyes of a crying child.
There was something else inside them.
Anger.
An anger Rio did not even know the name of.
His father approached Rio and grabbed him by the hair.
"What? Do you want to say something too?"
Rio did not answer.
He only stared at him.
"Do you want to share her with me?"
And he laughed.
Then he shoved Rio hard, sending him to the ground.
Rio remained on the floor for a moment.
He did not cry.
And that was the strange thing.
The pain was there.
The fear was there.
But the tears did not come.
He was looking at the man in front of him.
The man who was supposed to be his father.
The man who was supposed to protect him.
The man who was supposed to be the person Rio could trust more than anyone.
But he did not see a father.
He saw the monster.
"If you don't leave the room within five seconds, I swear I'll beat you until you die."
The grandmother stood up and grabbed Rio by the wrist.
"Come."
She pulled him.
But Rio did not move at first.
He was looking at his mother.
She was looking at him.
And for a moment, Rio felt that he did not want to leave her.
He wanted to stay.
He wanted to do something.
Anything.
But what could a little child do against that monster?
His grandmother pulled him again.
Before leaving the room, Rio turned around.
He could see the monster behind him.
And he could see his mother.
Time stopped for him.
He could no longer hear anything else.
Not his grandmother's voice.
Not the sound of the wind.
Not the sound of the house.
Only his mother.
And the monster.
Who was forcibly taking off her clothes.
Then his grandmother pulled him outside.
The door remained behind him.
It closed.
Rio stood in front of it.
He was small.
Weak.
Helpless.
But he did not forget.
He did not forget his mother's face.
He did not forget the teeth she had lost.
He did not forget the bruises.
He did not forget his father's hand.
And he did not forget that night.
Rio raised his head toward the door.
All the tears had disappeared from his eyes.
(I swear I will kill you someday.)
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