Chapter 367: Lukas Became a Municipal Emergency

Lukas spent two hours turning a sensible stop for repairs into a personal campaign against the concept of embarrassment.

The older worker sat beside the courtyard rail while he described our journey with increasing confidence and decreasing respect for the parts where I had helped. By his fourth drink, the diner creature had become larger, the escape narrower and my contribution mostly involved complaining about potatoes.

I corrected the important details until she asked whether we wanted separate stages.

That should have ended the performance. Instead, Lukas looked toward the parade beetle and decided the evening needed evidence.

The animal stood higher than our crawler, with six blunt horns curving around a broad plated head. Its handler assured everyone that it knew the courtyard circuit, stopped at the painted line and had completed dozens of harmless demonstrations.

Behind it sat a ridiculous carriage decorated with hearts, white ribbons and a roof-mounted celebration cannon. The side panel advertised wedding arrivals, anniversary surprises and other occasions apparently improved by involving a giant insect in your transport arrangements.

"That seems like a lot of equipment for going around a courtyard."

"The carriage isn’t part of the ride," the handler said. "It’s parked behind him until we finish setting up tomorrow’s promotion."

No lie warning appeared. I should have remembered that people could honestly describe what they intended while remaining completely wrong about what would happen.

Lukas climbed the short mounting steps with great care, then ruined the effect by waving at the older woman as though he had personally invented balance.

She laughed and told him she liked a man who could come back down the same way he’d gone up.

He heard the first half and seemed to consider the second optional.

[System: Look at him, mate. Four drinks and he’s decided the path to romance runs straight across an insect’s bloody forehead. I love a bloke with a terrible map.]

You could try encouraging him to sit quietly.

[System: I could also invest in salad, champ, but neither would suit the evening.]

The handler fitted a safety tether to the saddle and showed Lukas the handholds. A small bell hung beside the left rail, attached to a cord that disappeared beneath the harness.

Lukas asked whether he should ring it when he won.

The handler started explaining that it belonged to the carriage signal system, but somebody near the bar shouted a joke about wedding bells. Lukas grinned, raised one hand for the audience and pulled the cord hard enough to make the whole harness shift.

A metal catch snapped beneath the carriage.

For a moment, nothing moved except the handler’s face as understanding reached it.

Then the courtyard’s slight slope introduced the parked carriage to the back of the beetle.

The animal lurched forward. Its towing traces tightened, the empty shafts lifted, and two drunk spectators who had climbed onto the carriage for photographs discovered they had purchased an experience without paying.

Lukas remained firmly attached to the saddle, which proved the safety tether worked better than his judgment.

The beetle smashed through the light courtyard gate and entered the street with a carriage full of ribbons rattling behind it.

I spread my wings and went after them.

The first few strokes pulled at my sore side, reminding me that recovery didn’t care how funny the emergency looked. I stayed low enough to see the carriage wheels and the people ahead instead of launching myself above the problem and calling that assistance.

"Move away from the street, because the honeymoon has developed a steering issue!"

A water seller dragged his cart under a shade roof. Two freight workers hauled a bench clear while Lukas shouted something about having the situation under control.

He then asked which handhold operated the brakes.

[System: Your mate went looking for a mature woman and accidentally invaded the hospitality sector. Get after him, you flying tow strap, before the honeymoon carriage annexes the bloody bakery.]

The handler ran behind us shouting the beetle’s stop command. It might have worked if the carriage hadn’t kept bumping the animal every time it slowed, convincing it that the enthusiastic wedding continued pursuing it.

I could not steal the whole carriage into the space beside my body while flying through a crowded street. Mine Now retained size and momentum, and I wasn’t improving the evening by catching several hundred kilograms with my face.

Instead, I flew alongside the rear platform and used a tendril to pull its ordinary brake lever. The wheels complained, the carriage slowed and the beetle finally gained enough space to hear its handler.

One spectator grabbed the roof rail as we lurched. Unfortunately, the rail carried the celebration trigger, which the promotion crew had apparently considered an excellent place for it.

The cannon discharged a huge cloud of pink powder and fluttering hearts across an empty presentation stand beside the street.

Rex’s smiling face disappeared behind a layer of ceremonial romance.

The crowd went quiet, then someone started applauding. Both carriage passengers waved from the rear bench, more furious than injured, which allowed everyone else to find the noise funny.

Lukas looked at the ruined stand and asked whether that meant he had won.

"You have certainly completed something, although the category is still being discussed."

The beetle stopped beside the painted curb, breathing hard while its handler reached the harness. We helped the carriage passengers down, both shaken and loudly claiming they had never intended to participate.

Lukas needed assistance finding the mounting steps. The older worker arrived with the keeper, took one look at him and asked whether his original plan had included returning as a public warning.

He tried smiling and nearly apologized to the beetle instead.

A transport truck rolled up beside the damaged stand. Men wearing Rex’s company badges stepped out, examined the pink powder covering their equipment and then looked at the two of us.

Their supervisor held out his hand for the parade keys and told us that the next part of our evening would involve discussing who owned everything we had just broken.