Chapter 133: Pentagon Warrior

Chapter 133: Chapter 133: Pentagon Warrior

"Sir, we’re really here for a consultation."

"Yeah, Sir. We’ve talked it over and wanted to get your opinion."

The woman would say something, and the man would chime in to agree.

They were perfectly in sync. It sounded like they had a good relationship, and they seemed quite sincere.

"What are you two thinking? If you’re already at the point of discussing marriage, you should be getting your parents together for a chat."

"Why come to me?"

"We’re not quite at that stage yet," the woman explained. "We’ve only known each other for three months. Isn’t it a bit too soon to meet the parents?"

"It’s already been three months? And you still need an outsider’s analysis?" Zhang Zhe spread his hands, feigning curiosity.

’I don’t get it, but for the money, I can play along.’

"Because we’re not young anymore. I’m 26, and he’s 29. We were introduced by a friend and are both pretty serious about getting married. But since we weren’t introduced by a Matchmaker, it just feels like something is missing..."

"I get it." Zhang Zhe nodded. "So you two are missing the ’introduced by a Matchmaker’ step, and you want me to fill that in for you now."

"To give you some peace of mind."

"Yes," the man and woman answered in unison.

[Isn’t this just more couple role-playing?]

[I get the feeling one of them isn’t totally happy with the relationship.]

[It’s definitely the guy who wants to take things further, but the girl won’t let him get to the next base, so they’re using Brother Zhang as cover.]

[Streamer, check your DMs! Maybe the guy already sent you a script. Play along, you know?]

"Alright, let’s begin."

"But before we start, let me ask one thing. You two aren’t living together yet, right?"

"No, no, we’re still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase."

"Okay. It’s just that my streams often get clipped and shared, and I was worried it might affect you. Since you haven’t reached the later stages yet, this makes it easier."

Zhang Zhe, like a roadside fortune-teller reading a couple’s marital fate, asked the two on the call:

"Who wants to go first?"

"I’ll go first," the woman said, jumping in. "I’m 26 years old, 5’4" tall, and weigh about 116 pounds. I’d rate my looks around a 3.5 out of 10. I have a bachelor’s and a master’s from a Project 211 university."

"I currently work for the State Grid, with an annual salary of about 250,000 yuan."

"As for my family situation, we’re in Lin’an, so we have a house and a car. My family’s assets are over 15 million yuan."

"My father is a junior manager at a state-owned enterprise, and my mother works in a public institution."

"That’s the basic rundown."

"Are you an only child?" Zhang Zhe asked.

"Yes, I’m the only one."

"In that case, your ’hard stats’ are unbeatable." Zhang Zhe said, jotting down the woman’s information while already trying to guess the man’s qualifications.

This girl was a typical only daughter from the Jiangsu-Zhejiang-Shanghai region, and a top-tier one at that. She worked for the State Grid, which meant she had an ironclad, stable job.

’So what level is the guy next to her at?’

"What’s your personality like? Are you good-tempered?"

"I’m not sure how to describe it. How about I let him comment? He’s spent a lot of time with me recently."

The woman was pretty sharp, having the man next to her answer this question.

She could also use it as a little test.

[Careful, bro. This is a trick question!]

[Whatever you do, don’t lie. Otherwise the streamer can’t help you.]

[With the girl’s qualifications, what kind of demigod would the guy have to be to match her?]

[The guy is either an A9 trust fund baby or a new-money tech mogul. There are no other options in Lin’an.]

"Her temper is neither good nor bad," the man said objectively from the side. "She’s quite independent-minded. She doesn’t really act cutesy, but she also doesn’t cause drama."

"Miss, are you like this with your parents, too? Do you often act cutesy with them?"

Zhang Zhe suspected that they just weren’t close enough yet, so they were still seeing each other through a filter. The woman might want to act cutesy but was too embarrassed to.

But the woman clarified:

"I really do rarely act that way. My parents are both very rational people, and our whole family is like that."

"Okay, then you’re a true pentagon warrior." Zhang Zhe said after summarizing the woman’s qualifications. "Aside from your looks being a little on the lower side, families of a similar status would have almost nothing to criticize about you in any other respect."

"Have you been on blind dates before?"

"No. I’ve been in two relationships, but they both ended because the guys were too controlling."

"Understood. Alright, let’s switch to the man." Zhang Zhe perked up. His intuition told him the man’s story wouldn’t be simple.

The woman’s qualifications were out in the open.

If he were just an ordinary guy, he probably wouldn’t even have a seat at this matchmaking table.

"Hello, Sir." The man’s voice was a little louder than before, likely because he was now holding the phone. "My situation is much worse than hers."

"I come from a rural family. My parents are both farmers. I also have an older sister who’s already married to a small business owner in our local town."

"..." Zhang Zhe’s hand paused when he heard the man’s words.

’This guy opens his mouth and it’s just pure insecurity.’

’Who starts off without even mentioning their height and weight, and just dives straight into their shortcomings?’

"Brother, don’t get ahead of yourself. Family background comes later. Follow my order."

"Age?"

"I’m 29, 5’9" tall, and weigh about 149 pounds. I work out regularly. For looks, I’d say about a 4 out of 10, not particularly handsome."

"I think he’s more than a 4," the woman interjected.

[Oh no, this sister has ’love brain.’]

[I can tell, one is a bit insecure, and the other is trying to compensate for him.]

[Feels like an angsty romance. I love this kind of drama.]

[Girl, don’t do that! If you say things like that, the guy will have you completely wrapped around his finger!]

Zhang Zhe also felt it was inappropriate for the woman to interrupt, so he quickly reminded her:

"Miss, when he’s speaking, just listen quietly."

"A person’s self-assessment can reveal a lot."

"Sorry..." the woman apologized softly and obediently fell silent.

"Go on, brother."

"Yes. I have a bachelor’s and a master’s from a Project 985 university—both from a top-10 school nationwide. I’m currently a programmer at Ali, level P7, with a total annual package of around 700,000 yuan."

The moment Zhang Zhe heard the man was from Ali, he thought:

’Of course. Girls in Lin’an love finding male programmers from Ali.’

’Most of these guys join Ali right after graduation, pour all their energy into work, and don’t have much real-world or romantic experience. They’re easy for women to control.’

The guy on the call was a P7, which was considered an expert-level programmer at Ali.

Judging by his age and education, his technical skills must be quite good. After getting into Ali through campus recruitment, he must have worked incredibly hard, or he wouldn’t have his current title.

But unfortunately, his family background was holding him back in the dating market.

"My personal assets would be around A7, I guess. I’ve saved some money over the past few years of working. I have a few million yuan in savings, enough for a down payment in Lin’an."

"But there will definitely be very little financial support from my family after marriage."

"You don’t have to worry about my parents’ retirement, though. Elderly care is simpler in the countryside where we’re from, and with my sister helping out, I won’t have to go back for every little thing."

[The fact that this guy has an older sister is a huge plus. It means he won’t have to move his parents in with them.]

[The gap between them feels pretty big. They don’t seem like a match.]

[A P7 at 29? He has the potential to make a million a year. If he starts his own business, he could become a self-made millionaire.]

[Girl, run! This guy is smart. He’ll drain your family dry!]