Chapter 445 Meditating

Mark was the first to bring it up.

“All right, what’s going on with you?”

Ethan looked up from his plate. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb. You look different.”

Kaela nodded, her earlier misery momentarily forgotten. “He’s right. Something about you feels… different.”

Elara studied him for another moment before agreeing.

“You definitely seem stronger.”

Ethan paused with his fork halfway to his mouth.

He’d expected them to notice eventually, particularly Elara, who’d been close enough to sense the difference firsthand.

His breakthrough to B Rank had changed more than the numbers on his status screen. His presence felt heavier somehow, more commanding. Even without actively using his abilities, a subtle pressure surrounded him that hadn’t existed before.

He could feel it himself.

Especially since he now literally had an A Rank Beast within him, and two of his other beasts had A Rank Potential.

But in true Ethan fashion, he answered casually, “Had a productive night.”

Mark sighed.

“That’s all you’re giving us?”

“Would you prefer a PowerPoint presentation?”

“Yes.”

“Too bad.”

Elara shook her head and smiled, though Ethan could tell she was still curious. She already knew more than others, and his abilities would all be revealed with time anyway. But that didn’t make them any less curious, as Kaela and Mark continued trying to pry information out of him.

Ethan continued acting mysterious, mostly just for the love of the game.

‘I get why that detective bastard does this so much now.’

But while he was keeping his cards close to his chest, there was also something else on his mind.

Ever since entering that strange realm inside Mark’s mind, he’d wondered about the nature of the place. He’d encountered something similar in Elara’s mind, too – that dark space where they’d communicated with the demon.

Two people.

Two strange inner worlds.

‘Do we all have one of those? And if we do, what the fuck would mine be like?’

The thought had lingered in the back of his mind ever since.

Ethan suspected he possessed something similar, although he was certain his would be different. His connection to his beasts was unlike anything he’d encountered among other Titled.

He could communicate with them telepathically, summon them into the world, or withdraw them into his body. Their powers and senses could even influence him when they weren’t physically present, and he could literally fuse with them and control their bodies.

It was unprecedented.

He’d always called the place where his beasts resided his Beast Space.

But what did that actually mean?

Was it merely a function of his Title, or was there something deeper behind it?

Acquiring the Leviathan had made something inside him expand. He’d felt it happen, even if he couldn’t explain what had changed.

And if that space existed within him, perhaps he could find it.

The idea was unusual enough that Ethan might once have dismissed it outright. He’d spent much of his life avoiding the darkness inside his own head. Between prison, his past, and everything else he’d endured, deliberately sitting alone with his thoughts wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

But things had changed.

He had loved ones to protect, power to understand, and questions that wouldn’t answer themselves. So, after breakfast, Ethan moved to a quiet corner of the room and sat cross-legged on the floor.

He straightened his back, rested his hands on his knees, and closed his eyes.

Kaela stared at him.

“What are you doing?”

Ethan smiled without opening his eyes. “I’m meditating.”

She blinked.

Kaela remembered him using Beast Recovery during that insane insect Gate. He’d sat in a similar position then, but that had been to heal his injuries and restore his mana.

This was different.

Ethan wasn’t injured or exhausted.

He was simply sitting there with his eyes closed, looking far more peaceful than anyone had a right to look after nearly dying to a water dragon in an endless ocean not long prior.

Kaela exchanged a glance with Mark.

“…Is he okay?”

“Honestly?” Mark replied. “I have no idea.”

Ethan ignored them.

He drew a slow breath and turned his attention inward.

‘All right, then.’

For once, he wasn’t entering the Tower to fight.

He was going to explore the one place he’d never thought to look.

Himself.

Five minutes later, Ethan was beginning to reconsider his life choices.

He’d tried everything he could think of. Deep breathing. Clearing his mind. Focusing on the space behind his eyes. Even imagining himself walking through a dark corridor, like something out of one of those spiritual awakening stories.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

The system wasn’t helping, and he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for.

A door?

A glowing portal?

Some mysterious voice welcoming him to his own subconscious?

‘Congratulations, Ethan! You’ve discovered the inside of your skull. Your reward is absolutely nothing.’

He suppressed a sigh and tried again.

A chair scraped across the floor.

“Mark, I’m telling you, that wasn’t a normal hangover!” Kaela declared. “It sucked, even for me.”

“Maybe that’s what happens when you drink enough to poison an army.”

“It wasn’t that much!”

“You couldn’t remember your own name.”

“I remembered it eventually!”

Ethan’s eyebrow twitched.

He took another slow breath.

‘Ignore them. Focus.’

The sound of footsteps approached.

“Ethan?”

Elara.

He kept his eyes shut.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable sitting there? I could get you a cushion.”

“I’m fine,” he responded after sighing.

“All right. Just checking.”

Her footsteps retreated.

Silence followed

Though it only lasted a couple of seconds.

“Hey, Ethan,” Mark called. “If you’re meditating, does that mean you can hear us but can’t respond?”

Ethan’s fingers tightened against his knees.

“No,” he replied through gritted teeth. “It means I’m trying to fucking focus.”

Mark laughed.

“See? He’s fine.”

Ethan inhaled deeply.

‘Those monks are built different.’

He’d always thought meditation sounded simple. Sit down, close your eyes, and clear your mind.

How difficult could it be?

Now he was beginning to suspect that the ability to sit in silence for hours without strangling someone was a supernatural power in its own right.

And that brought another thought to mind.

‘No wonder Kaela had such a terrible time in that nightmare.’

The Golden Flutter had placed her in an entirely white room for what felt like an eternity without any outside contact or external stimulation.

Ethan had never fully appreciated how awful that must have been.

Now, after barely a few minutes of trying to concentrate while his friends went about their morning, he had a newfound respect for anyone capable of maintaining their sanity in their own head.

A laugh escaped him, and his eyes snapped open.

‘So much for meditation.’

Across the room, Kaela stared at him.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.”

“You were sitting there like an idiot, then suddenly started laughing.”

“Maybe I discovered enlightenment.”

“Really?”

“No. I discovered that meditation is bullshit.”

Mark nearly choked on his drink.

Elara covered her mouth, failing to hide her smile.

Kaela pointed at him triumphantly. “I knew it! You probably weren’t even trying.”

Ethan gave her a flat look.

“I was trying, but all I’ve achieved is a headache and a deeper appreciation for monks.”

“Then try harder.”

He stared at her.

‘Easy for you to say. You’re not the one trying to explore an invisible dimension inside your own body.’

Still, she had a point.

He was approaching this like a fight.

Identify the objective, find the weakness, and force a result through persistence.

That approach had kept him alive more times than he could count.

But this wasn’t a beast he could overpower, a skill he could master through repetition, or an enemy whose movements he could analyse. He didn’t even know what he was trying to reach.

Perhaps that was the problem.

Ethan closed his eyes again, but this time, he stopped trying to find anything. He stopped imagining doors and corridors, and stopped searching for some mysterious energy hidden behind his thoughts.

Instead, he simply paid attention.

To his breathing.

To the steady rhythm of his heart.

To the faint sensations beneath his skin, where his five beast tattoos rested against his body.

The noise around him gradually faded into the background.

Mark was still talking, Kaela was still complaining, and somewhere nearby, a cupboard opened and shut.

None of it mattered.

For the first time since he’d started, Ethan wasn’t fighting to concentrate.

He was simply listening.

And then he felt it.

Something deep within him stirred.

Ethan’s breathing stopped.

It wasn’t a sound, nor was it a physical sensation he could easily describe. It was more like becoming aware of something that had always been there, hidden beneath the surface of his consciousness.

A presence.

Vast, quiet, and strangely familiar.

His five beast tattoos seemed to grow warm against his skin.

He couldn’t explain how he knew, but the sensation was connected to them. To the space they occupied when they weren’t summoned into the world.

‘My Beast Space…’

Ethan had finally found it.

And for the first time, he sensed that he could reach beyond the surface.

His lips slowly curled into a smile.

‘There you are.’