Chapter 1: Love Is Poison

Roxanne checked the envelope for the fourth time, running her thumb over the wax seal like it might change if she looked hard enough.

Accepted.

She had stared at that single word until it blurred, until her chest stopped aching from holding her breath.

For three weeks she had watched Dorian and Arabella pack their trunks, laughing about which dorm wing they’d request, while her mailbox stayed empty and her stomach twisted a little more every day.

She had told herself it didn’t matter. That she wasn’t jealous. That she’d be fine even if she got left behind.

She had been lying to herself the whole time.

Now, one day before resumption, the letter had finally come, and all she could think about was Dorian’s face when she told him.

She could already picture it. His slow grin. The way he’d pull her in and say he never doubted her for a second.

She grabbed her coat before she even finished smiling.

She didn’t call ahead. She wanted to see his face when she said it out loud.

On her way, she passed the little supermarket on Fifth and stopped without meaning to. The wine was still there, the expensive bottle Dorian had pointed out weeks ago, joking that they’d pop it open the night all three of them got their letters.

She checked her wallet. Buying it would leave her with almost nothing until her next allowance.

She bought it anyway.

Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of everything. What was money compared to that?

By the time she reached Dorian’s building, her arms were full, the letter tucked against her chest, the bottle cool against her palm, her whole body buzzing with something she hadn’t felt in weeks.

Hope.

The front door wasn’t shut all the way. She smiled at that, assuming Arabella had beaten her here again, always in and out of Dorian’s place like it was her own.

She pushed the door open.

Then she heard laughter. Low, warm, familiar laughter.

She told herself it was fine. Arabella was always around. That was normal. That had always been normal.

She walked further in.

Then she heard Dorian say something soft, something tender, something he hadn’t said to her in longer than she wanted to admit.

Her smile died on her face.

She rounded the corner and the world simply stopped.

Dorian and Arabella, tangled together on his bed like they belonged there.

"Maybe it’s a good thing Roxanne wasn’t admitted. We could be a couple openly without hiding." Arabella said while digging her fingers into Dorian’s hair.

Roxanne thought she hadn’t heard right. Her mind refused it before her body could. Her fingers tightened around the wine bottle so hard her knuckles went white. The letter crumpled slowly in her other hand and she didn’t even notice.

Arabella saw her first. Her face went white. Everything in the room seemed to freeze at once.

Dorian turned, and for a second, just a second, Roxanne searched his face for something. An explanation. A reason this wasn’t what it looked like.

"What’s this?" she asked, and her voice came out so quiet she barely recognized it.

Dorian scrambled up, "It was a mistake. I never meant to hurt you, Roxanne."

He was already trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed with words.

Arabella was crying, but Roxanne couldn’t tell whether the tears were for her or for the future she’d just been caught trying to steal.

Roxanne looked between them like she was seeing two strangers wearing the faces of people she loved.

"How long," she said. Not even a question anymore.

Dorian didn’t answer right away, and that silence told her everything his mouth wouldn’t.

This wasn’t the first time. It had never been a mistake. It had been a choice, made over and over, while she sat at home waiting for a letter and trusting the two people who had betrayed her the whole time.

The wine bottle suddenly felt absurd in her hand. She set it down on the nearest surface without even looking, without even caring where it landed.

"Were you going to tell me?" she asked.

Dorian looked away. Arabella stepped toward her, reaching out, and Roxanne moved back before she could touch her.

"Don’t," she said. "Don’t you dare."

She turned to Dorian, some small, stupid part of her still hoping he’d deny it, still hoping he’d say Arabella was lying.

"Things had been complicated," he said. "Arabella and I had gotten close. I’d been meaning to talk to her."

Complicated. Like she was an inconvenience they’d both been managing.

And that was when the pain hit.

It ripped through her chest so fast she nearly dropped to her knees, gripping the edge of the dresser to stay upright. Her heart slammed against her ribs. Her senses sharpened until the room felt too bright, too loud.

Something stirred inside her. A presence she’d never felt in a long time. A heartbeat that wasn’t her own, echoing somewhere deep in her blood.

Her wolf.

And then his scent changed. It wrapped around her, pulled at something primal and undeniable, something her body understood before her mind could catch up.

Mate.

She looked up at Dorian in horror.

"You’re my mate?"

He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His face said it for him.

The betrayal she’d just witnessed cracked open into something so much worse. He wasn’t just her boyfriend who’d cheated. He was the one the Moon Goddess had chosen for her, and he’d still chosen someone else.

This can’t be fucking happening, she thought. The moon goddess couldn’t possibly be this cruel.

For one desperate second, some small broken part of her waited for him to fix it. To choose her now that he knew. Maybe this bond could fix things.

He didn’t.

"I can’t do this," he said, and the words landed like a blade. "I choose Arabella."

Then he said the words that severed something inside her completely.

The rejection tore through her body like fire, like her skin was being peeled back layer by layer. Her wolf howled somewhere inside her chest, a sound of pure agony that she felt more than heard.

But the physical pain wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was understanding, in that single moment, that even fate had gotten it wrong. That the person supposedly destined for her had looked at that bond and thrown it away without blinking.

She could have begged. She could have asked why, could have pleaded for him to take it back.

She didn’t.

Tears slid down her face, but her voice stayed steady when she spoke. "I accept it."

Something inside her went quiet after that. Not just her love for him. Her belief in mates. In fate. In the idea that the universe knew what it was doing.

She picked up her crumpled letter from the floor and left the wine behind, still sitting where she’d set it down, untouched and pointless now.

Outside, she finally let herself break, sobbing against the cold brick wall of his building. But she didn’t go back inside. She didn’t look through his window. She just walked.

At home, she packed in silence. Clothes, books, the few things that mattered. She pulled a photo of the three of them from her mirror, stared at it for a long moment, then set it face down on her desk.

She thought about the mate bond. About the pain. About the humiliation of being second choice to a man fate itself had picked for her.

And she made herself a promise.

If the Moon Goddess ever gave her another mate, she would reject him first. Before he could reject her. Before he could ever get the chance.

Nobody would have that kind of power over her again..

The next morning, she stood at her door with her bags packed, looking back at the life she was leaving behind one last time.

Love was poison, she thought, closing the door behind her.

And Roxanne Silver was done drinking it.