Chapter 129- His Office

Arabella:

"N... no..." I started moving back, not realizing that tears were coming out of my eyes. "You’re lying. That’s... that’s not possible... yes... now I know... you’re lying."

"I’m not lying." This time he didn’t try to approach me, and that made me more scared. The only person who tried to help me, who offered me his embrace, was no more. And I was responsible for his death.

I kept moving until my back hit the wall. I dragged down against it and pulled up my knees. "Oh, Goddess. What did I do?" I whispered to myself, "WHAT DID I DO? I screamed, not understanding why my chest hurt so much.

"Arabella," He knelt beside me and held my shoulders, but I kept pushing him back.

"Lucien. I didn’t kill him. That wasn’t poison. I was told that it was meant to make you unconscious..." I said between my hiccups, not knowing if he understood my words. Because the pain in my chest wasn’t letting me speak, "Oh, Lucien. Why... why am I not in prison? Why didn’t you put me in dungeons forever? I ... I belong there..."

I placed my hands on the floor and tried to get up, but he held me and pulled me to him. "Arabella. Sweetheart."

"Don’t sweetheart me, Lucien!" I said brokenly, "That beast... he was so gentle with me. You were the one who was an asshole... but he..." I started crying again and hid my face in his chest.

Holding me tight, he kept rocking with me.

"I’m... I’m sorry," I tilted my head to look at his face where I could see raw pain, "I’m so sorry, Lucien. I wish you’d let me go... I had to put that potion in your food... I was told... you will be unconscious and that time will be enough to escape. If I’d known what I was doing, I would have..."

I stopped talking when I realized what Jasmine did. She betrayed me. Goddess. It was her.

My eyes snapped up to Lucien’s face, but I didn’t say anything about his precious fiancée. Let me handle that bitch.

She was scared that I might attract Lucien. Now I’d tell her who she tried to mess with.

You two-faced bitch!

I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw, closing my eyes, letting those tears fall. Lucien’s arms were still around me, and I could feel his cheek against my head. I raised my hand and touched his face, feeling his stubble against my palm.

"I tried to warn you that I wanted freedom, but you weren’t ready to let me go..." I told him in a whisper.

He straightened and looked at me. "Because I was stupid, Arabella. I thought as my mate, you should stay with me."

His words made me freeze as my eyes widened. "Excuse me! What!"

He nodded and sighed, "You were my mate. Being wolfless, you couldn’t smell me, but I knew from day one that..."

Pushing him back, I got to my feet. He wasn’t ready for this mini attack and fell on his back. The look of shock was evident on his face.

"Arabella..."

"You jerk!" I leaned ahead and held his collar. "I’m your mate? And you didn’t even bother to tell me? You..." He got up and tried to hold my wrists, but I backed off. "Stay away!" I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand, but the more I looked at him, the angrier I became.

"You knew?" I went at him again, pounding my fists against his chest. "All that time, you knew I was your mate, and you didn’t tell me?"

I hit him again and again, pouring all my anger into every blow. Lucien didn’t stop me at first. He simply stood there and took it, his face tight with pain. It only made me angrier. "You should have told me!"

When I raised my hands again, he finally caught both my wrists and held them against his chest. "Arabella, enough." I struggled against his grip, breathing hard, but he didn’t let go.

"I’m sorry too," He whispered, and that was when I realized what was there in his golden eyes. Pain. Longing.

I avoided looking into his eyes and stared at the wall behind him. "You should have told me."

"I know... and I suffered." He released my wrists slowly.

I closed my eyes for a moment. When all this time I was busy enjoying my life, discovering myself, he was fighting the pain of losing his beast.

The thought brought another wave of guilt crashing over me. A sob escaped before I could stop it. I covered my mouth, but another followed, and suddenly I was crying all over again.

"I’m sorry," I managed, shaking my head. "Goddess, Lucien, I’m so sorry." He pulled me against him before my legs could give way.

"Don’t cry." One arm wrapped firmly around my waist while his other hand cradled the back of my head. "He never hated you, Arabella."

"But I did it." My fingers curled into his shirt. "I killed him."

"Zorro cared about you. More than you ever realized." He was trying to comfort me, but it all made it worse.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head and kept them there for a moment. I squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears wouldn’t stop. "I killed him, Lucien. I’m a murderer."

His arms tightened around me. "If Zorro were here, he wouldn’t want to see you like this."

I shook my head against his chest. I wanted to believe him. Goddess, I wanted to, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw that enormous beast helping me get down the tree.

My knees finally gave way. Lucien went down with me without hesitation, one arm still around my body as we sank to the floor.

He brushed my hair away from my wet face. "Look at me, Ara." I couldn’t.

"Arabella."

When I finally raised my eyes, he wiped beneath them with his thumb. His gaze moved over my face before he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

Another tear slipped down my cheek. Lucien caught it with his lips. "Stop doing this to yourself," he murmured against my face.

My lips trembled. "What are you doing, Lucien?"

"Something Zorro and I wanted to do for a long time," He whispered as his hand moved slowly over my hair. "You were important to him... to us."

I dropped my forehead against his shoulder and cried until my chest hurt. This time, he didn’t tell me to stop.

He simply held me there on the floor, kissing my hair and wiping away the tears. I held on to Lucien and cried for the friend I’d lost.

***

"When I first came to this palace..." My voice came out hoarse from all the crying. "I had no one, Lucien."

His fingers moved through my hair, gently pushing the strands away from my damp face. "Back then, you were an asshole." I laughed through my tears.

Something shifted in his expression, but for once, he didn’t interrupt me or try to defend himself. He just let me speak.

"But Zorro was there." I swallowed against the ache in my throat. "Every time I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, somehow he would show up. When I wanted to give up... when I hated myself, when I thought maybe everyone was right about me being useless, he was there." My eyes filled with fresh tears.

"He would just let me hug him. He never needed me to explain anything. He would sit there and let me lie over his body until I felt better... until I fell asleep." My voice cracked, and I tightened my fingers around Lucien’s shirt. "I thought he was the only friend I had in this palace. Why?" I looked at his face. "Why didn’t you ever tell me that he was your beast?" I asked him quietly.

Lucien kissed the bridge of my nose, then rested his cheek against the top of my head. We were still sitting on the floor, my body tucked against his, and I knew I should probably move.

But I didn’t want to. Not yet.

I wanted his arms around me. I wanted something strong to hold on to while I cried for Zorro.

So, I let myself lean into him and closed my eyes. "I’m so tired, Lucien," I yawned loudly. "And I want to sleep."

"Okay. Then go to sleep, princess," he murmured, nuzzling his nose into my neck. He had called me princess after such a long time.

I was too tired to tell him that. He shifted a little, lifting me from the floor and settling me properly across his lap before pulling me safely against his chest. I curled into him without protest, finding a comfortable place beneath his chin as his arms closed securely around me.

My eyes were already closing. His warmth seeped into me, and the slow movement of his fingers through my hair made it harder to stay awake. I could hear the steady rhythm of his breathing beneath my ear.

Within minutes, I drifted off in his arms, right there on the floor of his office.