Extra: The Misunderstanding Cliché

The notification arrived before the last firework had finished falling.

And apparently, this one couldn't be bothered with subtlety.

It slammed into the middle of Mordecai's vision, filling half his field of view with red and gold, and an animated URGENT banner bounced above it, flashing with the sort of enthusiasm normally reserved for emergency evacuations and limited-time gacha events.

[AUDIENCE DEMAND DETECTED.]

[The Higher Realms have formally requested the next scene in the sequence. Prepare for the smut.]

[Funding pooled so far: 180,000 Soul Coins and rising.]

[Location: Hotel (Discreet).]

[Atmosphere: Optimized. Lighting: Mood.]

[User [Gooner_King] has paid 4000 soul coins for ethereal condoms]

Behind the notification, the live chat was moving so quickly that individual messages had begun merging into a colorful blur.

[HIGHER REALMS LIVE CHAT]

[Gooner_King]: BEDROOM SCENE BEDROOM SCENE BEDROOM SCENE

[Gooner_King]: I PAID 5000 COINS FOR THIS

[LUKAS_THE_GREAT]: you can't just do a kiss and cut away, that's illegal

[Power_Scaler99]: ok but I actually need this arc to be canon

[Gooner_King]: THE HOTEL IS RIGHT THERE. THE HOTEL IS RIGHT THERE.

[Dibbs57]: (I did not pay for that part, I just wanted the kiss. I'm sorry.)

Mordecai read the messages, then he looked at Egel.

She was still clinging to him, her face tucked against his shoulder and her fingers curled into his coat. Every so often, she drew a shaky breath, as though she still couldn't quite believe she'd kissed him.

She couldn't see the chat, of course. As far as Egel knew, they were alone on a hill beneath the stars, enjoying what had probably been the happiest evening of her life.

Meanwhile, ten thousand strangers were trying to purchase the next part.

Mordecai looked back at the notification.

'You miserable little bastards.'

He was used to being watched. Hell, he'd practically built an entire business around exploiting the absurd rules of this world. If the Higher Realms wanted to pay him for humiliating himself, fine. He'd survived worse.

But this?

His eyes returned to Egel.

'She's my type. That's the problem.'

He couldn't even pretend otherwise anymore. She was beautiful, kind, ridiculously strong, and so hopelessly sincere that she'd managed to make him forget about an entire audience of cosmic degenerates. And yes, he was attracted to her.

'Of course I am. I'm not blind.'

But the thought of taking her into that hotel while thousands of strangers watched from the Higher Realms made his stomach turn.

He could already imagine the comments, the ratings, the donations... and even some bastard clipping the whole thing and selling it as exclusive content.

Egel would never even know. She'd spent her life giving everything she had to people who needed her strength. He wasn't about to let the most intimate and important moment of her life become another item on somebody's subscription plan.

'No.'

He looked toward the hotel, its conveniently illuminated windows waiting behind them.

'Absolutely fucking not.'

"System," he said quietly.

[Yes?]

For once, the System sounded nervous.

"How much to delay it?"

[...Delay what?]

"Don't play stupid. The scene. How much to postpone it?"

[The audience has already funded the event.]

"I didn't ask if they paid. I asked how much it costs to move it."

The System hesitated.

[Technically, there is a Narrative Postponement Clause.]

"Technically?"

[It allows the host to reschedule an audience-requested scene without canceling it. Nobody has ever used it before.]

"Wonderful. How much?"

[35,000 Soul Coins.]

Mordecai stared.

"That's robbery."

[It's the current market rate for disappointing ten thousand paying customers.]

"You're charging me for refusing to entertain a bunch of horny spectators? I was even told that we cannot change the tags for a single chapter."

[I'm charging you for narrative inconvenience.]

He rubbed his forehead. The reward from Egel's kiss was still sitting in his account. Twenty thousand Soul Coins, freshly deposited and practically begging to be spent.

Unfortunately, that left another fifteen thousand. His own money. Money he'd been saving for months.

Money that was supposed to go toward Ravenloft Holdings, the fortress, and the endless list of repairs that somehow kept growing every time he looked away.

'There goes the budget.'

He glanced at Egel again. She had her eyes closed, resting comfortably against him, waiting to be held and taken into the hotel.

Mordecai sighed.

"Fine. Do it."

[Are you certain?]

"Before I change my mind about not deleting you."

[Processing...]

A soft chime sounded.

[35,000 SOUL COINS DEDUCTED.]

[SCENE RESCHEDULED.]

[New location: Book 2, Chapter ???.]

[Please look forward to it.]

[We'll update the tags for Book 2.]

For exactly one second, the live chat stopped moving.

Then all hell broke loose.

[HIGHER REALMS LIVE CHAT]

[Gooner_King]: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[LUKAS_THE_GREAT]: VOLUME 2?? HE'S MAKING US WAIT??

[Dibbs57]: honestly? respect.

[Power_Scaler99]: Volume 2 hype. I'm going to be insufferable until it comes out.

[Gooner_King]: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Behind them, the hotel's lights began flickering.

Then one window went dark, followed by another. The golden letters above the entrance sputtered out, and within seconds, the entire building had become an unlit shell.

Apparently, even the hotel had lost interest now that the scene had been postponed.

Mordecai watched it happen.

'Thirty-five thousand coins. Holy shit. Was that the right thing to do?'

He could practically hear his accountant screaming.

Still, when he looked down at Egel, he found he didn't regret the expense.

Not yet, anyway.

"Kaitoyama?"

Egel had finally lifted her head. Her cheeks were still pink, and her eyes looked a little swollen from crying. She studied his face with a worried frown.

"You went really quiet. Are you all right? You were staring at nothing." She asked, her voice soft.

"I'm fine. I swear that I'm really fine."

She didn't look convinced.

Mordecai considered explaining that he'd just spent thirty-five thousand Soul Coins to prevent an audience of cosmic perverts from turning their evening into premium entertainment.

Unfortunately, that conversation would probably require several hours, a legal department, and a diagram.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, and Egel gave a small gasp.

Until now, she'd been the one doing most of the hugging. Mordecai had generally endured it with the patient resignation of a man accepting an unavoidable workplace accident.

This time, he pulled her against his chest himself.

One hand settled on the back of her head while the other held her around the shoulders, and he rested his chin lightly against her hair.

For a moment, Egel seemed unsure what to do. Then she relaxed against him.

'I'm going to regret this,' Mordecai thought.

He could already feel the words forming in his throat.

'Oh, I'm going to regret every single word.'

A small window appeared.

[CRINGE METER: 60%]

He ignored it.

"Egel," he said gently. "I accept your feelings. All of them."

She went rigid in his arms.

"But I think we need time." He swallowed. "W-we should get to know each other better before taking things any further. Spend more time together. Properly."

Her fingers tightened around his coat.

"I know tonight meant a lot to you," he continued. "And I don't want you thinking I'm just going to forget about it tomorrow."

'Careful. Very careful.'

"I promise we'll have more evenings like this. We'll spend more time together."

[CRINGE METER: 78%]

'Oh, shut up.'

He could practically hear his own words being played back in a terrible romantic drama. Still, he'd meant them.

He couldn't tell her he loved her. That would be a lie, or at least a promise he wasn't ready to make, given that he'd have to do the same to his dysfunctional harem.

But spending more time with her? That much he could do, and considering how much this evening had cost him, he was starting to suspect the System would make sure of it regardless.

Egel buried her face against his chest.

At first, Mordecai thought she was simply hiding her embarrassment again. Then he felt something damp spreading through the shoulder of his coat.

'Again?'

She was crying. Quietly this time, though her shoulders trembled against him.

"Okay," she whispered, while her arms slid around his back. "Okay... Okay..."

Then she squeezed.

Mordecai winced as several ribs filed an immediate complaint.

"I'm sorry," Egel murmured. "I'm sorry, Kaitoyama. I just thought..." She hesitated. "I thought that maybe, if we slept together, you could love me too."

'Oh.'

Mordecai closed his eyes. There it was. The part of the conversation he'd been afraid of, although not for the reasons he'd expected.

Now she'd found someone who treated her kindly, and she'd somehow convinced herself that offering him everything she had might make him love her back.

'Jesus Christ, Egel.'

He stepped back just enough to see her face, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"Egel. Listen to me."

She sniffled.

"Love doesn't work like that," Mordecai said, his voice softening.

"No?" Egel sniffled again.

"No." He shook his head. "You don't have to give someone your body to earn their affection. That's not how you measure if someone cares about you."

Egel watched him attentively.

Mordecai searched for the right words. Which, unfortunately, was usually the first sign that he was about to say something unbearably embarrassing.

"Love is... well..."

'Come on. You've negotiated with demons. You can explain a basic human emotion.'

"It's in the little things. The way you feel when you're around someone. The way their happiness matters to you. The way you want to see them smile, even when there's nothing in it for you... or when you want to buy a bouquet of hydrangeas—"

He hesitated before lifting one hand from her shoulder and resting two fingers against the center of her chest, just above her breastbone.

"Here." He said.

Egel's breath caught.

"This is where it starts. You don't need to prove anything with your body. If two people love each other and eventually decide to sleep together, that's their choice. It isn't something you have to offer in exchange for being loved." He looked her in the eyes. "Understand?"

[CRINGE METER: 97%]

'Oh, kill me. Please. I just delivered a romantic lecture while pointing at a woman's heart. On a hill. With a hotel behind me. Somebody throw me off the cliff.'

Unfortunately, the cliff remained unhelpfully distant, and Egel was staring at him.

Her eyes widened, and a tiny sound escaped her throat. Then her pupils began changing shape.

'Wait.'

Two small, glowing hearts appeared where her pupils should have been.

'Oh, no. Is this another consequence of that cultivation?'

A faint blue light flickered around her fingers, and the air hummed.

Mordecai recognized that particular sensation immediately. Two thousand years of cultivation were beginning to leak out again.

'Don't explode.'

Her hair lifted slightly.

'Egel, please don't explode.'

A pulse of divine Chi rolled through the grass.

'I JUST SPENT THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND COINS SAVING THAT HOTEL.'

Egel squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists. She drew a long breath, held it, then slowly let it out. The blue light flickered several more times before finally disappearing.

When she opened her eyes, the little hearts were still there, glowing faintly in the lantern light.

She looked at Mordecai for a few moments, then threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank you!"

Mordecai barely managed to remain upright. "You're... welcome?"

"Thank you, Kaitoyama!" She hugged him tighter, almost breaking his ribs again. "Now I understand!"

'Do you?'

Egel laughed through the last of her tears. "What I feel for you is real. It really is! I wasn't imagining it!"

"Well, I never said you were—"

"And I'm so happy!" She looked up at him, smiling so brightly that he almost expected another notification about the visual effects budget. "I'm so happy you feel the same way!"

Mordecai froze.

'...What?'

He replayed the conversation in his head.

'I accept your feelings. We need time. We should get to know each other better. Love is in the heart. Sleeping together isn't something you have to do to earn affection.'

He was reasonably certain he'd been very clear. He'd practically delivered a seminar on emotional responsibility. And somehow, through a process that would have baffled the world's greatest linguists, Egel had translated the entire speech into:

'I love you too.'

Mordecai opened his mouth.

"Egel, that's not quite—"

She looked at him.

Her cheeks were still wet, but she was smiling now. Happily. Completely. As though someone had finally taken a weight off her shoulders after years of carrying it.

The words died in his throat.

He knew he should correct her. He'd already postponed one problem tonight, and allowing another misunderstanding to grow wasn't exactly responsible management.

But she looked so happy... Breaking her heart would only make the audience angrier.

'Fuck.' He closed his mouth. 'I'll explain it later.'

That was becoming a disturbingly familiar sentence.

Egel tucked her face against his neck again, and Mordecai let out a quiet sigh before wrapping his arms around her.

[CRINGE METER: 100%]

[DEBUFF APPLIED: CRINGE OVERLOAD.]

[Effects: Involuntary blushing. Sudden desire to lie down.]

[Duration: Until further notice.]

'Of course.'

But then... something horrible happened.

A violet crack opened in the air beside them.

It appeared without warning, a thin line of light stretching vertically through the darkness. Silver sparks gathered along its edges as it widened into a swirling portal, sending a cool gust across the grass.

The lanterns swayed.

Mordecai knew that portal. Usually, whatever came through was about to become his problem.

"Oh, no..."

A pale hand appeared at the edge of the portal, gripping it for support...