Chapter 57 The Accidental Literature of the Warp

This is probably the funniest chapter till now!! Enjoy!!

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Let alone Dante, Calgar, and the loyalists—even Abaddon, Vashtorr, and the arch-traitors of Chaos were suddenly flushed red, violently coughing into their gauntlets.

Given the catastrophic, apocalyptic tension in the room, desperately trying to suppress their laughter was genuinely pushing them to their physical limits.

Witnessing the collective reaction, Magnus grew exponentially more furious. The massive force-staff in his hand actually trembled from the sheer, apoplectic rage violently coursing through him.

“I am going to completely, absolutely obliterate you.”

Facing the apocalyptic threat of a Daemon Primarch, Vane simply threw his hands up, adopting an expression of absolute, flawless innocence.

“My, my, such aggressive posturing! You want to kill your own ancestor?!”

“I certainly didn’t see you acting this tough when Leman Russ casually snapped your spine over his knee and left you crawling in the dirt like a beaten dog!”

That specific, hyper-traumatic historical reference completely shattered the last microscopic fragment of Magnus’s sanity.

With a deafening, demonic roar, he violently flared his colossal feathered wings and launched himself into the air.

He aggressively channeled an apocalyptic surge of Warp energy into his staff, instantly unleashing a blinding, hyper-lethal storm of psychic lightning directly at Vane.

Sanguinius smoothly stepped forward. He flared his own blazing, metallic wings, instantly projecting a massive, blinding white halo of divine energy that effortlessly absorbed the localized psychic bombardment.

“As long as I stand here, you will not harm a single hair on the Forefather’s head.”

“Hahaha! Look at you! You actually thought you could hurt me?!”

Standing safely behind Sanguinius’s divine shield, Vane aggressively flipped Magnus the bird.

Then, he casually reached into a nearby Tech-Priest’s sacred incense censer, grabbed a massive handful of ash, and held it up.

“Hey, Magnus! Do you know what this is?!”

Vane aggressively blew the ash off his palm, scattering it into the air.

“This is the literal rubble of Prospero!”

AH! AH! AH!

Magnus completely, violently lost his mind. The catastrophic psychic energy radiating from him became so dense it was practically solidifying reality.

Although Magnus had never achieved true, independent Apotheosis, his ten thousand years of accumulating esoteric knowledge, combined with the catastrophic blessings of Tzeentch, had elevated his combat stats to an absolutely terrifying tier.

He possessed the ability to ignite planets, manipulate the flow of time, and rewrite the threads of fate. His raw power output was mathematically equal to, if not greater than, a standard Warp God.

Honestly, it was incredibly fortunate that Sanguinius had recently equipped the Halo of the End. The divine artifact provided absolute immunity to insta-kill curses and esoteric debuffs.

If he hadn’t, Magnus would have absolutely subjected him to the exact same endless, hyper-sadistic spawn-camping he had inflicted on Vulkan.

“Hahahaha!”

Seeing Magnus completely lose his mind, Vane laughed even louder.

I absolutely love it when the boss is completely furious but lacks the DPS to actually kill me.

Vane reached back into the censer, grabbed another massive handful of ash, and held it up again.

“Hey! Do you know what this is, Magnus?! It’s your beloved sons!”

“Look! They’re all completely reduced to ash! Just like the Rubric Marines! Hahahaha!”

Calgar, Dante, and the loyalists finally couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The Forefather is absolutely, relentlessly brutal. He isn’t just physically attacking the enemy; he’s aggressively speed-running a psychological execution!

He is repeatedly, violently stabbing the enemy directly in their deepest emotional trauma!

“Sanguinius! Make absolutely sure you permanently break your brother’s legs! He needs a lesson in respecting his elders!” Vane ordered cheerfully.

“Understood, Forefather! I will aggressively shatter his legs,” Sanguinius replied, his tone chillingly calm.

Sanguinius’s calm confirmation only fueled Magnus’s catastrophic rage. The Daemon Primarch violently siphoned more raw energy from the Immaterium.

The localized reality above the Fortress of Hera completely shattered, exposing the infinite, horrifying madness of the Empyrean. Colossal, mountain-sized eyes and incomprehensible, sanity-shattering abominations peered through the rift, flooding the material realm with suffocating, primal terror.

Sanguinius responded by instantly fully unlocking the absolute power of the Halo of the End. He erupted into a blinding, incandescent sun of pure holy fire.

The two demigods violently clashed in the upper atmosphere, their collision generating catastrophic, apocalyptic shockwaves that physically shook the entire planet.

Having successfully instigated the boss fight, Vane immediately lost interest. He casually looked down, spotted a completely bewildered Abaddon standing in the center of the Shrine, and flashed a massive, predatory grin.

“Well, well! If it isn’t the champion of ‘Curved Loyalty’, Abaddon the Despoiler! Are you here to crash the Macragge house party too?!”

In the original lore timeline, Calgar had been aggressively opposing Cawl and the Ynnari, nearly triggering a catastrophic civil war between the loyalist factions.

It was only because Abaddon’s Black Legion launched a massive, desperate assault that the Imperial forces were forced to unite, giving Cawl the opportunity to successfully resurrect Guilliman.

If physically launching a Black Crusade just to accidentally ensure a Loyalist Primarch resurrects isn’t the absolute definition of ‘loyalty’, then what is?!

Hearing his name, Abaddon snapped out of his daze and glared at Vane. “Save your breath, Outer God. No matter what psychological warfare you attempt, I absolutely refuse to fall for your cheap tricks.”

“For the glory of the Luna Wolves!” Vane violently threw his arm into the air, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Garviel Loken was always Horus’s absolute favorite son!”

“Hey, Abaddon! Do you remember the Saturnine Wall?! Do you remember all those Sons of Horus begging you over the vox to launch an extraction protocol?!”

“Sigismund was a literal geriatric patient, and he still brutally beat the absolute hell out of you!”

“…”

Greyfax, Calgar, Dante, and the loyalist Astartes instantly perked up, their inner gossip-demons burning with unprecedented, catastrophic intensity.

This ancient, highly classified historical drama is absolutely incredible!

Abaddon’s face rapidly turned completely black with absolute, apoplectic fury. His massive, Terminator-armored frame physically shook.

“I am going to completely annihilate you, you insolent wretch!”

However, the absolute microsecond Abaddon attempted to charge forward, Living Saint Celestine violently intercepted him.

“I am your opponent, Despoiler!” Celestine declared, raising her blazing Ardent Blade.

“Get out of my way, you pathetic lapdog of the Corpse-Emperor!”

Abaddon roared in absolute fury, but he found it impossible to quickly bypass Celestine’s divine defenses. The two instantly locked into a brutal, high-speed melee engagement.

“Wow, you’re already tilting?!” Vane threw his hands up in exaggerated disbelief. “I haven’t even dropped the heavy lore yet!”

“Hey, did you guys know that before Abaddon became an Astartes, he used to sell his body on the streets of Cthonia to localized gang bosses just to survive?!”

“Do you guys know how the famous Remembrancer, Karkasy, actually died ten thousand years ago?!”

“He was brutally assassinated by Abaddon because he wrote a highly controversial poem called ‘The Little Boy Who Sold His Body’, exposing the First Captain’s absolute darkest secret!”

A collective, catastrophic gasp echoed across the chaotic battlefield.

Let alone the loyalists—even the Chaos Space Marines and the surviving Sons of Horus began looking at Abaddon with extremely weird, deeply disturbed expressions.

“Forefather… is… is that actually true?” Inquisitor Greyfax asked, completely stunned.

“Of course it is! I’ve been alive for forty thousand years and possess absolute, reality-breaking power! Do you really think I’d waste my time lying to a bunch of kids just for fun?!”

Internally, Vane was laughing his absolute head off. He had wanted to aggressively troll Abaddon like this since day one.

When you’re a low-level NPC, you cannot afford to spread rumors.

But when you’re an incomprehensibly overpowered, God-tier ancestor? It’s your absolute, fundamental right to aggressively spread catastrophic misinformation!

“HE IS LYING! HE IS SPREADING MISINFORMATION! DO NOT BELIEVE A SINGLE WORD HE SAYS!”

Abaddon parried a strike from Celestine, frantically glancing around at the deeply disturbed expressions of his own troops, and screamed in absolute, desperate panic.

He furiously pointed Drach’nyen directly at Vane. “I absolutely swear upon the Dark Gods, I will personally carve your treacherous tongue from your skull!”

Seeing Abaddon completely lose his mind, Vane’s grin widened even further.

“Hahahaha! Hey, do you guys know how Hastur Sejanus actually died?!”

“Abaddon and Erebus secretly conspired to have him assassinated! Because with Sejanus dead, Horus was forced to rely exclusively on Abaddon and Erebus!”

“Abaddon intentionally sold the entire Sons of Horus Legion to the Chaos Gods! Why else do you think the Chaos Gods backed him to become the new Warmaster?!”

“And you braindead traitors actually believe he did it all for the good of the Legion! What an absolute joke!”

Hastur Sejanus had been one of Horus’s absolute most beloved and trusted sons. He was universally recognized as the flawless paragon of the Luna Wolves—the Astartes who most perfectly embodied the Warmaster’s tactical brilliance and diplomatic charm. He had tragically died during a diplomatic incident on Sixty-Three-Nineteen.

The microsecond Vane dropped that catastrophic lore bomb, the atmosphere on the battlefield completely shifted.

Even the veteran Chaos Space Marines who originally belonged to the Sons of Horus suddenly looked at Abaddon with absolute, murderous suspicion.

Abaddon and Erebus secretly founded the Warrior Lodges…

Abaddon aggressively pushed to have the wounded Warmaster sent to the Serpent Lodge on Davin…

Abaddon personally commanded the execution of the cloned Horus…

Abaddon spent millennia aggressively attempting to erase Horus’s legacy…

…It all connects. Everything connects!

“LIES! IT IS ALL AN ELABORATE, CATASTROPHIC LIE!” Abaddon shrieked, his voice cracking with absolute panic. “EVERYTHING HE IS SAYING IS A LIE!”

The Chaos Space Marines didn’t verbally argue with him, and they continued their brutal melee with the loyalists.

But in their minds, Abaddon’s image had permanently, irrevocably shifted from a glorious Warmaster into a deeply treacherous, highly manipulative backstabber who aggressively sold out his own Primarch just to seize control of the server.

“You dare get distracted while fighting me?!”

Celestine violently snapped her wings, dive-bombing from the ceiling. Her Ardent Blade crashed down with catastrophic force, forcing Abaddon to desperately raise the Talon of Horus to block.

Seeing Abaddon get pinned down by Celestine, Vane clicked his tongue in satisfaction and casually shifted his gaze to Vashtorr, the Lord of the Forge of Souls.

The massive, hyper-advanced technological upgrades the Black Legion was currently deploying were obviously Vashtorr’s handiwork.

“Save your breath, human. Your primitive psychological warfare has absolutely zero mathematical probability of affecting my logic circuits.”

Sensing Vane’s gaze, Vashtorr spoke with a cold, grinding, synthetic voice.

“I actually have a complete, localized Apotheosis Ritual for the ‘God of Machinery’ sitting in my inventory. If you immediately abandon Chaos and formally defect to the Imperium, I’ll give it to you. Deal?”

Vane raised an eyebrow, casually throwing out a catastrophically tempting offer.

Vashtorr, who had been completely prepared to ignore every single word Vane said, instantly froze. The temperature of his internal logic circuits violently spiked.

“Are you serious?! If I formally defect to the Imperium, you will grant me the absolute authority of the Machine God?!”

“HAHAHAHAHA!” Vane burst into absolute, unhinged laughter. “Of course I’m lying, you absolute idiot!”

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