Chapter 2393 - 2228: Willfulness

Chapter 2393: Chapter 2228: Willfulness

Life is always pushing itself to become stronger again and again. No one wants to live an unchanging life; everyone hopes to climb higher, to go further.

"Actually, you never thought about what betrayal really is. In your heart, you think everything you do is right, but who knows the kind of pain all of us are enduring? We make ourselves stronger just to have a clear conscience, to live a better life. But are we truly happy? Is everything we do really what we want? Again and again, I have gradually become numb, not knowing what ending I most desire, nor who is the person I love the most in this life.

When I offer all my sincerity again and again, only to receive the cold treatment from others like a heart of stone, what do you feel deep in your heart at that moment? No one is willing to endure such a blow, nor is anyone willing to suffer such torment.

When your heart has endured all the hurt and pain, you become numb. You can’t distinguish right from wrong, and you don’t know who is good to you and who is malicious. You have no way to discern all of this.

If someone in this world is willing to exchange their sincerity for yours, don’t ever do it. No one in this world will truly treat you sincerely. Trusting people in this world is always unreliable, and men are the same. The only person you can believe in is yourself, and only your own strength can eliminate the feeling of being looked down upon by others. If you choose to be bullied repeatedly and endure it silently, others will only become more aggressive, riding on your head without caring whether you are enduring it; they’ll only see themselves as victorious, as a king, able to ride on your head, to hit or scold you, to insult you in any way.

Child, sometimes these words are not meant to make things difficult for you, but I only hope you suffer a little less deceit. When you see others living happily over and over again, do you know that feeling? Do you know what it is like to be betrayed by someone you love? Do you know what it’s like for your best friend and the one you love most to peel open your wounds again and again, to sprinkle salt on them again and again, never understanding what a helping hand is, what knowing when to stop feels like?

I’ve seen too much of this kind of bloodiness, so many bloody scenes. I have seen everyone suffering all the pain and hurt over and over again, and no one ever stood in my shoes to consider it for me at those moments. When someone else ripped open my bloody wounds and sprinkled salt on them, wasn’t I in pain? Am I really the callous, insensitive woman you say I am? I’m not.

No one has ever stood in my position to think for me in anything. I have unspoken bitterness deep inside, like being forced to eat bitterness in silence. But have I ever said anything? I swallow my anger again and again, only to have the outcome of people hurting me more and more. I’ve had enough. I’m not a Saint. I can’t stand being hurt repeatedly while still smiling happily. How could I be so weak? I am not that weak woman who lets others bully her. I will destroy everyone who has hurt me with my own efforts. I want them to know the outcome of hurting me, to always remember the painful price they paid for betraying me. I’ll make them wake up from nightmares, scenes of blood that no method can erase, existing forever in my mind."

Zhang Yichen never expected that his mother’s heart would have so much grievance. She never told anyone about these pains. Actually, she indeed had hardship that couldn’t be voiced. Every decision he made damaged everyone, but that wasn’t his intention. He just wanted to protect all the friends around him, hoping they would sincerely stay by his side and accompany him. Yet when he dedicated everything, he realized all of this was wrong. He never got the outcome he wanted most. Again and again, he was pushed by reality, having reached a dead end. He didn’t know what kind of dilemma he would face. He covered his innermost thoughts again and again, proving that he had no way to forget all the hurt and pain of his lifetime.

Perhaps sometimes he truly should stand in his mother’s position and think more about why he did everything and why he became like this. Did he becoming like this have nothing to do with himself?

Sometimes, thinking about everything he’s done to his mother, is it really not too much? He always wanted these things, never realizing his mother was going through such difficulties. When he knew all the truth, deep in his heart, he still had a little trouble accepting it. But when all the pain came like that, inside, he couldn’t accept it or balance it. Who is to blame for all of this? Who sparked all the mistakes? He never thought all of it would become so ugly and hard to smooth over.

Maybe he really should think about what he truly wants. Seeing his mother like this, what does he have? How could he have the mentality to criticize his mother for being heartless toward him? Everything he did was only to live happily and peacefully, but when all the pain and hurt came, he had no way to forget how all of this began. Sometimes it’s good to think more, to ponder what lies deep in his heart. Maybe one day when someone betrays him, he’ll still feel this way, only he doesn’t know it yet, doesn’t know when it will arrive.

Perhaps, what life leaves you with, apart from hardships, are beautiful memories. Those struggles for life are your most precious memories!