Chapter 143: My Name Is Questioner And I Ask Questions!

The water in front of our boat bulged.

It was a slow swell, like the lake taking a breath. Then it split, and something rose out of the black with water pouring off its body in sheets.

I stopped rowing. Behind me, Petra’s hand moved to her sword without a sound.

At first glance it looked like a sea lion.

Then it kept rising. Sea lions don’t grow to the size of small houses. They don’t have four curling horns on top of their heads, either.

Its hide was dark and glistening, and it caught the dim light in patches, so that parts of it seemed to vanish into the lake while other parts shone.

The creature stopped when it was fully out of the water. And then it looked at us.

I have been looked at by many things in the Realm. Most of them wanted to eat me, and you can read that kind of look.

It’s hungry and simple.

This, was not that.

The eyes were wide and wet, and they were intelligent.

They moved from face to face, slowly, taking in each one of us. Four people in two very small, very crooked boats made of stolen stairs. It looked at us the way you look at a puzzle you already know you’ll solve.

It wasn’t in a hurry. That was the worst part. Hostility I could have handled. This patience, this quiet curiosity, made the back of my neck go cold.

It had also stopped in the exact spot where our two boats met the water.

Both of them. Its body blocked the whole way forward, and we weren’t going anywhere.

"Hehehe, my name is Questioner and I ask questions!"

I almost dropped the oar. ’It can talk!?’

Unbelievable. Confusing. Shocking.

I turned to look at Khan across the gap, and his face said what mine did. Eva had her hand over her mouth. In the Realm of Evil, the things that talked were usually the ones you should run from.

"I am going to ask you one question per boat. If you don’t answer or lie, you will be punished. Hehehehe."

A grin spread across that huge face, and I realized I could see too many teeth.

Khan didn’t move.

His boat rocked gently, and I watched him study the creature with the same flat eyes he used on a map.

Whatever this thing was, it didn’t seem to want to kill us. If it did, we would be dead already. Khan must have reached the same conclusion, because when he spoke his voice was steady. "And why should we answer you?"

"I’m the one who decides whether you get to cross to the other side or not. Hehehehe. After all, I hold all the advantage here. Hehehehe."

Nobody argued. It was true, and we all knew it. We had two boats, no bridge, a lake with no visible bottom, and a creature the size of a house sitting in the only path.

"I mean, he is right," Eva said quietly to Khan.

Khan exhaled, long and slow, like a man putting down something heavy. "All right. I will give the answer from my boat."

I thought about it for a moment. There wasn’t much to think about.

"And me from mine."

"Hehehe. Then I’ll ask from you first."

Questioner turned the whole front of its body toward me, and I felt the water shift under our hull. It pointed at me with one flipper. That was all. Out here, it seemed that was enough.

I nodded.

Whatever it asked, I would answer. Where we came from. Why we had come. How strong we were. I had prepared three or four answers in the time it took to blink. After all, what could it possibly...

"When was the last time you had intercourse?"

"..."

I sat there.

In my entire life, in twenty years of preparing for the worst the Realm could throw at me, I had never once prepared for that.

Behind me, I felt Petra go very still. I didn’t turn around. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head like two small, warm coals.

And Questioner just kept grinning. Looking at me. Waiting. Patient.

’If I lie, I get punished. If I don’t answer, I get punished.’

I could think of worse things to be punished for, but I didn’t want to find out which one this creature preferred.

"Sigh..." I let out a long breath. "It was two days ago."

It was the truth. It was also, I reasoned, a natural thing to say. Nobody had ever died of honesty. Probably.

Questioner nodded, satisfied. Then it swung its huge head across the gap, and its eyes landed on Khan. "Do you love the woman sitting next to you?"

Silence.

Then Khan flushed. I had known Khan for over an year. I had seen him stare down a Beast with a broken leg, and I had never once seen him go red.

He went red now, all the way up to the tips of his ears, and his mouth opened and closed like he had forgotten how it worked.

That was interesting...

Next to him, Eva was biting the inside of her cheek, hard, her eyes fixed on the water as if it had just become the most fascinating thing in the world.

Well. I did know they had a crush on each other. Everyone on the team knew. They had spent years not saying it out loud, circling each other in camp like two people carrying a very full cup. Neither of them had ever said a word.

And now a sea lion with four horns was dragging it into the open.

Khan swallowed. His hands tightened on the edge of the boat. The whole lake seemed to wait for him.

"Yes..."

It was barely a whisper. Eva didn’t look up, but her shoulders dropped, and something in her face softened.

’Good for them, I guess.’

Questioner laughed. It was a big, delighted sound that rolled across the black water and came back from the mountain.

"Goodbye!"

With that, it dived. The huge body folded into the lake, and a wave rose up and rocked both of our boats hard. Then the surface smoothed over, black and still, as if nothing had ever been there.

The lake was empty. The path was open.

Nobody spoke for a long moment.