Chapter 94 Butt Stuff.

Chapter 94: 94 Butt Stuff.

"Well, now you are. And we’re more linked than we possibly could have been if things turned out any other way," I pointed out. "Anyway, try to see where I was coming from. I’d pretty much accepted that I was going to be alone until this killed me," I said.

She frowned. "You won’t die. Don’t even say that or I’ll fucking kill you."

I chuckled. "And then Elsa walked out of a portal, and everything changed."

"And I hate that you moved on, too. I get why it all happened now, and I don’t blame you—it’s a pretty cool situation from a dude’s perspective. But, fuck, dude, it ate me up to realize they were all in love with you and living with you while I had been thrown away," she said, but her voice cracked on the last word. She swiped her eyes dry, fast, annoyed at herself for it.

"Yeah." I reached for her hand. She let me take it. "I get it."

"You’re just like my fucking dad," she said.

I honed in on that. It was the second time she mentioned him, and I wanted a bit of clarity. "How so, exactly. Because he also abandoned you?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly. I mean, yeah, but it’s more than that. When I was little, my parents were already separated. My mom loved my dad, though, and always wanted him to come back. And sometimes he would. Like, once every few years, she’d call him up, give him a chance, and he’d come home."

She wiped a tear away and lowered her head, sniffling. "Those were the best days of my life back then. Every time he came home, it was so much fun. He’d take me to see movies, to go camping and fishing. He’d buy me candy and expensive food, and he’d spend all day hugging me and kissing me. And then I’d wake up one morning and he’d be gone. And I wouldn’t hear from him again until the next time, a few years later."

She pointed an accusatory finger at me. "What you did to me felt just like that. You made me feel like I was loved. You made me feel things I didn’t even know my body could feel. I imagined a future with you, you fucking asshole!"

She socked me in the jaw, but her fist just bounced off. I frowned at her sympathetically, not sure what to say except, "Sorry," when she started rubbing her hand.

"And it even hurts to punch you!"

She was right, and the simplicity of it made me feel like an even bigger asshole than I already did. Which was really saying something at this point.

"Thank you for explaining all that to me, Clementine. I really apologize. Genuinely. If I knew—"

She punched my arm softer this time. "Nope. Shut the fuck up. I reserve the right to not hear you be nice and understanding. I know none of it was meant to be cruel or whatever—I get it, Grey, I do. And I know you’re a good guy because I can literally feel your soul. I’m more in love with you now than I ever was back then, and I know you’ll never leave me, but I... I never got to really have a moment to just blame you, you know?"

"That’s fair," I said, rubbing the spot she’d hit, pretending it hurt. I decided to try and be empathetic and sensitive. "Does it feel like you’re maybe getting back at your dad by punishing me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don’t be gay."

I nodded slowly, keeping my face neutral. "Okay then. For the record, not gay—and if I was, that would be A-Okay."

"Not with me and your other hos, dumbass" she huffed. "Whatever. I got it all off my chest, I think. You can kiss me. If you want." She said it to the comforter, not to me, and her white horse ears had gone pink, just a bit.

I reached over and tucked a strand of black hair behind one of those tall, pointed horse ears. She flinched at the contact, just barely, and then leaned into it. I cupped her jaw and turned her face toward mine.

The kiss was nothing like the one in the field after her first transformation. That one had been panicked and confused. This one was slow, and she let me lead. Her lips were warm and she tasted like the beer she’d been drinking, but also something sweet, and when I pulled back she chased me forward about an inch before catching herself.

"That was okay," she said. "Seven out of ten."

I tilted my head and gave her a look. "Liar."

"Fine. Eight. But I believe we can pump those numbers up a bit more" She grabbed my shirt and pulled me back in, and for the record, it was at least a nine. The second kiss was longer, and she made a small sound against my mouth that she’d probably deny under penalty of perjury.

When we finally broke apart she was breathing faster I pulled my shirt off and lay down beside her. The bed was small enough that there wasn’t really an option to maintain distance, which I was increasingly suspecting had been her plan all along. Clever girl.

She rolled onto her side and pressed herself against me, one leg thrown over mine, her face against my chest, her tail curling around my calf while her horse ears tickled my chin.

"You’re warm," she said into my collarbone. Her breath was hot against my skin.

"So are you."

She pressed closer. "Shut up. I’m not complimenting you. I’m stating a temperature fact."

I wrapped my arms around her and she let me. Her body was tense for the first few seconds, rigid, like she was waiting for the catch. Then she exhaled and just sort of collapsed into me. It felt like holding someone who’d been standing at attention for years and finally got permission to stop.

For a while neither of us said anything. I could feel her heartbeat against my ribs, fast at first, then gradually slowing as she settled in. Her breathing evened out. One of her hands found mine and she laced our fingers together against my chest.

"Grey?"

"Yeah?"

"I’m glad you didn’t die fighting monsters alone."

I nodded, chuckling into her hair. "Me too, come to think of it."