Chapter 108: Obsession

Nora’s POV:

Today, like any other day, I walked towards the library with silent steps. The knights bowed beside the door as I entered. It had been ten months, or even more, since I lost Neo, or at least I thought I might have.

His thoughts, his warm touch, and his soft voice still rested in the corner of my mind, always keeping me sane and preventing me from completely losing my sanity.

The ten months had not passed like a blur of days. Each one had stretched out into an eternity of quiet agony, where every passing hour felt like a year of separation. Even after so much time had passed, I still hadn’t gotten used to being alone, being separated from him, not being by his side.

I still felt afraid of losing him completely, I still felt afraid of forgetting him, and I still didn’t want to lose him, not from my own thoughts, not from my own mind, and not from my own life.

He was still the anchor of my life. Without him, I felt nothing but an empty shell, just living, not enjoying my life, not feeling anything.

I walked towards the towering bookshelves, searching for the book I had half-read yesterday.

It didn’t take much time for me to find it. It was the same book, and I had reached Volume 7, which was the last volume I was reading. I had already catalogued what I would read next after this, as I had planned everything from the start.

I checked the cover of the book once more to see if I had picked up the correct volume.

[OBSESSION]

[Volume-VII (Last)]

It was the book I had gotten hooked on at the start, not because I felt overwhelmed by something new, but because several of its scenes gave me a familiar feeling, the same one that had been building inside me for years.

But after reading this particular novel for days, I had come to one final conclusion.

’This book is really a low-class one. I don’t feel much familiarity in it, and the level of obsession is so low. There are only a few scenes which showed a little low-level obsession, like when the FL becomes obsessed with the ML, so much that she goes as far as manipulating the people around him, his family and his friends, so that he will have no choice but to accept her. She couldn’t bear to see other female characters flocking around him, so she just poisoned him with an aphrodisiac, slept with him, and forced him to take responsibility for her... It was quite a cheap trick...’

I couldn’t help but feel disappointed by its level. Reading it felt like a waste of time, and I could have switched to something different from the midway point without needing to complete the story, but I didn’t feel like doing so, as I was clinging to the hope of reading something which might make me feel that I was not alone in possessing such a feeling.

What I felt was the same obsession, but on a completely different scale from any commoner’s. My obsession did not stop at the level of manipulating others or sleeping with him while he was unconscious. My obsession surpassed it by a very large margin.

’If I were in the place of the FL, I would have just killed his family and loved ones so that only I would remain by his side. Instead of manipulating others, I would have manipulated him to choose only me. I would have made it so that I became his entire world, so that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t separate himself from me.’

’I would have made it so that he could not live without a single touch from me. I would have tortured him enough that he would tremble at my every touch, not out of fear, but out of want.’

’I would have made him feel desperate for every kiss, every touch, and every need a man requires to be fulfilled.’

’I wouldn’t have chosen the possessive way of claiming him, as it is simply a cheap trick for someone who couldn’t make the other person love her wholeheartedly. Instead of possessing him, I would have chosen to make him fall so deeply in love with me that he wouldn’t even want to breathe without my permission...’

I knew that what I could say was limited to just a fantasy for now, but I was sure that if I really came to that point, if I really stopped holding myself back, if I really became my real self, the world around me would not be the same as it was now.

I was not the helpless girl who just sat on the floor crying over losing her loved ones, and I was not the same girl who had to hide herself in someone else’s protection. I had now become a completely new version of myself, something which I had been holding back for so long. The continuous pain inside my mind and soul only boosted it further, solidifying my feelings.

I was no longer Nora Valentina, the deaf girl many people pitied. I was just Nora, who wanted nothing but to protect her own feelings, and for that, I could go to any level, one that no one could ever imagine.

...

I was reading the last few lines of the book with a relatively disappointed expression, one which was impossible for others to read.

Then the door of the library opened. It was not the sound of the door which attracted me, it was the fluctuation of mana in the room. The whole library was under my radar, and I could see and sense every particle of mana floating around the room. It didn’t even take a second for me to know who had come in. It was the same person I had been waiting for so long, the same person I was obsessed with, the same person I fantasized about protecting. I had already known he was here since the moment he stepped into the Draven Mansion, but I didn’t move to walk towards him. If it had been the old me, she would have gone to him, asked about his well-being, or maybe even hugged him tightly for leaving her.

But I knew better than to make myself comfortable around him, the moment he arrived here. Instead, I chose to remain still, not responding to the touch of his hands around my eyes and not reacting to his movements, which he silently expected me to do.

I stayed silent until he finally pulled back and stepped in front of me. As I opened my eyes, I could see his figure, different from before, taller, more refined, and more handsome than before. I saw a small smile forming on his lips, which showed his hope of seeing me okay and was trying hard to melt the mask I had made for myself during his absence. But I didn’t let him see the things he was expecting, as I didn’t want to lean towards him or give him the satisfaction of accepting any of his apologies.

He didn’t know how much I had suffered since the time he was separated from me. He didn’t know that whatever he did would only make my feelings more chaotic than they already were.

I knew that if I lost control of my feelings now, he wouldn’t be able to show that sweet smile on his face again, and he wouldn’t be the same person to me again.

So I decided on a single thing for now, which was to hold myself back.

I picked up another book from the bookshelf, ignoring him completely as I walked towards the table, pulling the chair back and sitting comfortably on it, focusing on the book instead of facing him, wanting to take my first step towards changing his entire world.

***

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[A/N: Hello, guys! Sorry if you’ve been wondering why I’m so desperate to upload more Chapters and do daily mass releases.

The reason is that I’m not sure if I’ll be able to upload Chapters regularly from October 19 to November 2, as I’ll be busy with some personal work during that period.

I’ll still try my best to upload Chapters daily, but I can’t guarantee it. Unfortunately, mass releases or any extra Chapters won’t be possible during that time.

So, if you want some extra Chapters, now is the time to get them, because I can only upload them before that period! ??]