Chapter 418 - 399: Just Let Me Kill Myself and Return to Heaven

Chapter 418: Chapter 399: Just Let Me Kill Myself and Return to Heaven

This scene left the three hundred-odd new disciples behind Su Ling’er completely stunned, their minds buzzing.

They stared blankly at [Special Effects Warrior], the man who had just been manifesting the avatar of the Thunder God. Now, he lay in a pool of blood like a dead dog, a massive gash on his chest still emitting black smoke.

’N-No way...? He just... lost?’

’Did my eyes just deceive me? How did that sword, the one as big as a door plank, shatter that Thunder God avatar in a single blow?’

’Is this even possible?! All those flashy, over-the-top moves, and he gets one-shotted by a simple, heavy chop?!’

Then, as they got a clear look at the disciple’s "gravely injured and near-death" state, a chill shot up from the soles of their feet to the crowns of their heads.

’H-He looks kind of... dead! His chest is almost split open! H-How could he be so ruthless in a spar between fellow disciples?!’

’...If it were our turn up there, one wrong move and we’d end up dead or crippled, wouldn’t we? What’s the point of Cultivation then? We’d be dead!’

But the undercover agents, after their initial shock, quickly composed themselves and put on disdainful expressions.

’What’s all the fuss about? It’s just a flesh wound. It only looks scary. How tenacious is a Cultivator’s life force? As long as his Dantian isn’t shattered, an injury like this is a minor ailment.’

’Besides, given the wealth and profound resources the Guixi Sect has displayed, forget this little injury. Even if he were on his last breath, wouldn’t one or two miraculous Spirit Pills that can bring the dead back to life be enough to cure him instantly?’

’Based on our previous observations, I can guarantee that next, an Alchemy Master, a master physician, or perhaps a Law Enforcement Elder from the sect will come forward to treat him. They’ll use this as an opportunity to show us new disciples the sect’s impressive stockpile of pills and its ability to save the dying.’

’This is a classic carrot-and-stick approach for a mature, major sect—a way to both display power and win people over.’

The agents were convinced that what would follow was the classic "save a life with pills to showcase resources" drama.

For a sect of the Guixi Sect’s caliber, such a severe injury was nothing at all.

They were even ready to let out a few well-timed gasps of amazement when they saw the injured man revived, expressing their awe at the sect’s power, hoping they might get some reward out of it.

And at first, things seemed to be heading in the direction they had predicted.

The one who had inflicted the injury planted his greatsword into the ground, walked over to [Special Effects Warrior], and patted his own chest. "Don’t be afraid, brother! I happen to have some medical skills. I’ll fix you right up!"

But [Special Effects Warrior], lying in the pool of blood, was so laden with severe injury DEBUFFs in his status bar that his movements were restricted and his speech was half a beat slow.

"Are... you... sure... this is... reliable? I... I somehow... feel... like you’re... going to... rob... and murder... me..."

"Relax! We’ve known each other for years!" [One Slash Per Kid] said as he helped him up. "I told you before, stop practicing all that flashy stuff! Being cool won’t fill your stomach! In a real fight, do you think people will just die of fright from looking at your special effects? My brute force beats all your fancy techniques!"

Hearing this, [Special Effects Warrior] couldn’t help but roll his eyes, despite his injuries. "You... don’t... know... shit... Cool... is... for... a... life... time..."

Listening to this exchange, the fear in the hearts of the crowd behind Su Ling’er instantly vanished.

’So they’ve known each other for years!’

’Looks like this was just a controlled spar. And the winner knows medicine, so it’s all within a controllable range. There’s definitely no problem!’

But Su Ling’er’s heart leaped back into her throat.

’No way! Is this perfect opportunity to scare them away going to fall through again?’

Just then, [One Slash Per Kid] pulled out... a sewing kit, a pile of Spirit Grass and demonic plants, and even a few live, hopping toads from his backpack?!

With extremely practiced movements, he ground the Spirit Grass and demonic plants into a paste in his palm. Then, he grabbed a toad, scraped some mucus from its back, and mixed it into the paste. Finally, he plucked out several silver needles of varying lengths from the sewing kit.

The entire sequence was as smooth as flowing water, giving him the air of a master physician.

The crowd behind Su Ling’er was mesmerized.

’This senior brother’s technique is so professional! He must be a hidden master of the healing arts!’

They were even preparing to shower this "highly skilled" senior brother with praise.

However, at that very moment—

[One Slash Per Kid] picked up the thickest silver needle, aimed for a major acupuncture point on [Special Effects Warrior]’s chest, and without hesitation—THUD!—plunged it straight in!

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

A blood-curdling scream erupted involuntarily from [Special Effects Warrior]’s mouth! The sound was so wretched, it would make any who heard it weep.

But [One Slash Per Kid] remained completely calm and said without looking up, "Don’t be afraid. This is to clear your meridians! I hit the Screaming Point. If I hit it right, you’ll scream. The louder you scream, the more smoothly your meridians are clearing!"

The crowd: ’...There’s an acupuncture point like that?!’

THUD! He stabbed him with another needle.

"AAAAHH—YA—!!" [Special Effects Warrior] was forced to let out another scream.

"This is proper acupuncture therapy. As the ancients said: where there is pain, there is no flow; where there is flow, there is no pain!"

The crowd: ’...What kind of twisted, heretical medicine is this?!’

As he spoke, he grabbed the remaining silver needles and—THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!—rapidly stabbed them all over [Special Effects Warrior]’s body!

"PFFFT—————!!!"

Suddenly, with a muffled bursting sound, an arrow of blood shot toward the sky from [Special Effects Warrior]’s leg!

[One Slash Per Kid] scratched his head, looking a little embarrassed. "Uh... sorry, bro. My hand slipped. I think... I hit your artery."

Though [Special Effects Warrior]’s speech was slowed by the DEBUFFs, his fury seemed to pierce the veil between the virtual and the real. "You... did... that... on... pur...pose... didn’t... you?!"

"Trust me! It was a total accident!" [One Slash Per Kid] swore.

The crowd: ’Even the best of us make mistakes... It’s normal for an immortal master to miss with a needle...’

However, the treatment that followed devolved into a complete disaster.

The more [One Slash Per Kid] treated him, the worse it got. Under his "brilliant" medical skills, the injured man continuously triggered all sorts of bizarre DEBUFFs.

One moment he was convulsing and foaming at the mouth; the next he was laughing hysterically while tears streamed down his face; then he was wailing and beating his chest... His miserable state was ten times worse than when he’d been cleaved by the sword!

Watching this treatment scene, which was comparable to death by a thousand cuts, the expressions on the crowd’s faces shifted from confusion, to doubt, and finally to terror.

’Wait... do you even know how to heal people? It feels like you’re taking advantage of his weakness to finish him off! This isn’t healing! This is just torture in creative new ways!’

Su Ling’er felt a similar sense of despair.

’Do you see?! This is our Guixi Sect! Not only do we maim our own, but after crippling them, we torture them a second time in such an inhuman way! This is the true essence of a demonic sect!’

Finally, [Special Effects Warrior], who was being used as a guinea pig, couldn’t take it anymore.

He looked at his status bar. On top of the original [Severely Injured] and [Bleeding] DEBUFFs, a long list of new ones had appeared: [Poisoned], [Confused], [Uncontrollable Laughter], [Meridian Reversal]... He felt like he was just one breath away from dying on the spot.

"Dude... do... you... even... know... how... to... heal... or... not? When... did... you... learn... these... medical... arts?"

[One Slash Per Kid] thought for a moment. "Well... I think I... got it in a lottery drawing the day before yesterday. I figured... I’d practice on you... Ah, no, I mean, my medical skills are already perfected! Just leave it to me, I’ll definitely be able to heal you in the end!"

[Special Effects Warrior]: "..."

[Special Effects Warrior] fell silent. ’Alright, so he’s just using me for practice! Figures. It’s a time-honored tradition, after all.’

He looked at his current state, not quite human and not quite ghost, and decided to just forget it. He wasn’t going to play along anymore. Besides, he needed to log off and eat.

"Next... time... you... should... find... someone... else... Why... don’t... you... just... stick... to... practicing... your... sword... skills... Leave... medicine... a... little... patch... of... pure... land..."

"I... My level isn’t high... I... I’ll... just... kill... my...self... and... return... to... the... heavens!!!"

"You... can have... this... corpse... Just remember... to pay... the Spirit Stones... for my life!"

With that, he used his one functional arm to prop up his broken body and, with all his might, slammed his fragile neck against the massive greatsword jutting out of the ground!

The last rays of the setting sun happened to fall just right, catching the blade and reflecting a piercing, blood-red glint.

That light was reflected in the pupils of the crowd.

SCHRRRRIIIP—————!!!

The blade met no resistance.

The moment the greatsword touched his neck, it was like a red-hot iron sinking into butter.

Flesh tore, sinews snapped, and bone shattered.

As everyone watched in horror, the head was cleanly severed from the neck!

A fountain of blood erupted from the stump, spraying wantonly into the dim twilight!

The warm blood rained down, some of it even splashing onto the faces and bodies of the new disciples in the front row, causing them to freeze instantly.

THUMP... THUMP... THUMP...

The head, still bearing an expression of shock and relief, tumbled twice in the air before hitting the ground.

It seemed to carry some momentum, rolling across the ground and leaving a trail of blood until it finally came to a stop right at Su Ling’er’s feet.

Its unblinking eyes stared straight up at Su Ling’er’s face.

Su Ling’er: "!!!!!"