Chapter 78: I Refuse to Be the Helpless Omega!

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"You have to understand, I did that because I love you."

His hand slipped under the hem of my shirt, palm warm and steady against the bare skin of my stomach, the touch both soothing and possessive as his fingers splayed there in a quiet claim.

"I am your husband. The only one you need is me."

The heat of his hand moved in slow strokes across my abdomen, the pressure firm enough to remind me of his presence without demanding anything further, while his mouth continued its careful work along the column of my neck, drawing another soft sound from me that I had not intended to make.

"Not them...not anyone else. Just me."

The scent of him wrapped around us both, thick and familiar, comforting in the way it always was and yet somehow heavier tonight, as if it were trying to fill every empty space the day had left behind.

‎

‎I turned in his arms eventually, the movement slow, and a single tear slipped free before I could stop it.

In that moment the shape of the trap became fully clear.

Lorenzo’s world was dangerous in ways I was only beginning to understand, his protection was real and absolute, and without it I had nothing and no one left to turn to.

The old dream of the seventy million and the freedom it might have blinded me of the reality of just how fucked I was.

Not now that the dream was dead and gone, I began to see things a little more clearer...

I wasn’t cut out for this dangerous world...

Just how was I to handle this intense love from such a dangerous person? ℴ

When I had never been loved unconditionally before?

Quietly, almost without hope, I whispered the words that had been waiting somewhere beneath the numbness.

Perhaps I could still run away from it all.

‎

‎"Please divorce me, Lorenzo."

‎

‎He kissed the tear away with careful tenderness, then pressed a longer kiss to my lips that lingered until the residual salt of it faded, followed by another softer one against my forehead.

"No, my love." The refusal was quiet and final, carrying none of the sharpness it might have held on other nights.

My eyes closed...there it was. The answer I’d expected but still hated. The response that hurt every time it was spoken.

‎

‎He kissed my forehead again. "Sleep."

‎

‎I turned away from him, but he didn’t force me to look back at him. He simply drew me against his chest and secured his arm around my waist.

Eventually, his breathing slowed, and he drifted off to sleep like he hadn’t just shot a man a few hours earlier. I, on the other hand, stayed awake.

‎

‎I stared into the dark. His scent surrounded me; his arm remained on my waist, and I could feel his steady heartbeat against my back.

And for the first time, I recognized something I hadn’t wanted to admit. I had spent so much time fantasizing about escaping Lorenzo that I had overlooked an important truth.

Even if I managed to leave him tomorrow, I would still be the same person...the one who didn’t know how to defend herself, who froze when someone raised a hand, who needed someone to step in between him and danger.

‎

‎That realization settled deep within me. This time, it wasn’t anger. It was colder, cleaner. I couldn’t control whether Lorenzo would divorce me or if my family would ever accept me or how dangerous his world was.

But I could control what I did about myself.

‎

‎I didn’t want to be helpless any longer. I didn’t want to spend my life waiting for someone to show up with a gun.

I didn’t want my safety to hinge solely on whether Lorenzo happened to be nearby.

And I definitely didn’t fucking want to be the person who grabbed an empty gun during an ambush, thinking that dramatically pointing it at a masked man was a solid survival plan.

That had been beyond embarrassing.

‎

‎I closed my eyes. Tomorrow, I was going to do something about it.

For the first time in a long time, I had a plan that didn’t revolve around running away from my problems.

---

The next morning, breakfast looked like it was prepared for a royal delegation...eggs, toast, fruit, pastries, several kinds of meat, yogurt, juice, coffee, and what seemed to be a ridiculously elaborate little tower of pancakes.

I stared at it. "Are we feeding the entire estate?"

The maid offered a polite smile. "Mr. Castelli asked that you eat properly since you went to bed without food yesterday."

Naturally. After shooting my father and denying my request for a divorce, Lorenzo had evidently decided that pancakes were an appropriate follow-up.

I ate...not because I was hungry, but because I realized that thinking on an empty stomach made me even more dramatic than usual.

Lorenzo wasn’t at breakfast, he’d left early. I didn’t ask where he was going.

I wasn’t interested in following his schedule. I had something else to occupy my mind.

Once breakfast was over, I went back to my room and changed. Then I stood in front of the mirror.

My cheek was still bruised. I pushed my hair back, and the marks left by Lorenzo’s earlier affection were on my neck.

I touched one briefly, feeling a mix of irritation and comfort; someone had been there when I needed him. Probably both emotions were a result of my current state.

I stepped out of the room. The estate looked different that morning, or maybe I did. I walked through the hallways with my shoulders back.

The guards no longer seemed like mere obstacles. Instead, I watched them, how they stood, how they moved, where their hands rested, how quickly they noticed anyone coming close.

I’d spent days thinking about the guards only in terms of escape. Now I was observing them for something else: information, skills, possibilities.

I finally spotted Nikolai near one of the side corridors, talking to another guard. I paused and smiled.

Nikolai caught my eye. His expression turned cautious immediately.

He must’ve learned enough about me to know that when the Don’s Omega approached him with a smile, trouble often lurked behind it.

I walked over. "Hey, snitch."

The other guard glanced between us. Nikolai dismissed him with a nod.

Once it was just us, he looked at me. "Good morning, sir."

"You look worried." I observed.

He was probably confused on how just yesterday I looked like I wanted to jump off a bridge and today I looked like I was about ready to declare myself Ruler Of The Universe

"I am." He said.

"That’s flattering."

"Should I be?"

"Probably."

His eyes narrowed a little. I stopped in front of him, and for the first time since yesterday, I felt something other than exhaustion...purpose.

"Could you do something for me, oh kind snitch?"

Nikolai regarded my face carefully, mildly annoyed at me calling him that.

Too bad he’s going to have to get used to that.

"What is it, sir?"

I smiled, but it wasn’t my usual one. This wasn’t playful or the kind I used when I was about to annoy Lorenzo. It was thinner, sharper, determined.

"I want you to teach me how to fight."

Nikolai’s eyes widened as he stared at me, slowly realizing that his typically quiet morning had just transformed into someone else’s problem.

And honestly? I was perfectly happy to be that problem.

No surprise there!