Chapter 178: Holy Swords and Hard Words

Vuvi and Penelo burst through the front doors of the Great Mother’s church in the Dwarven capital at a dead sprint, boots skidding across polished marble.

An acolyte glides over immediately, hands folded, serene smile in place. "How may I be of assistance?"

"Did three Saint Sisters come in here recently?" Vuvi demands, barely pausing for breath, hands braced on her knees. "Big, beautiful, insanely powerful women, with a golden construct in tow? Probably looking way, way too pleased with themselves?"

The acolyte’s eyes widen with sudden recognition. "You must be Vuvela Blackthorn." She bows low. "Creator of the Prince of Pleasure."

"That’s me. I need to see him. Right now."

"I’m afraid the Saint Sisters are still convening with him," the acolyte says, apologetic, hands twisting together at her waist. "I’ll inform them of your arrival at once. In the meantime, if you could please wait patiently—"

"I have waited patiently. For more than a day. I am done waiting patiently!" Vuvi plants both fists on her hips, red curls bouncing with the force of it.

Penelo lays a gentle hand on her arm, ears drooping with concern. "Let’s just wait a little, okay? We know he’s here and we know he’s safe, and they have to finish up eventually, it’s been a whole day already. Surely there’s some kind of physical limit. Even for Saint Sisters."

Vuvi groans, but lets herself be steered toward a bench, sinking down beside Penelo with her arms crossed tight. The acolyte bows once more and hurries off down a long, echoing hallway.

They wait. Vuvi grumbles through half-formed plans for the business’ grand opening in the capital, Penelo nodding along, until her ears suddenly shoot straight up, swiveling hard toward the corridor.

"What?" Vuvi asks, already tensing, spine going rigid against the bench.

"I hear Pip!" Penelo says, eyes wide. "Beeping. It sounds like... It sounds like he’s fighting!"

Vuvi is on her feet instantly, grabbing Penelo’s hand. "Lead the way, bunny. Quickly!"

They tear through the church at a dead run, peering into rooms and down side halls as they move, chasing the sound past praying congregants, a choir mid-rehearsal, and a ritual bathhouse full of naked, startled acolytes, until they finally reach a heavy door deep in the church’s inner sanctum, unmistakably the source of both the beeping and a rhythmic, ringing clash of metal on metal.

The acolyte is already there, knocking uselessly against the wood, knuckles rubbed raw.

Vuvi shoves past her and slams both fists against the door. "PIP! PIIIIIP!"

"Please," the acolyte tries, "the First, Second, and Third Sisters are inside. They demand absolute privacy. You cannot simply—"

Vuvi doesn’t wait for her to finish, removing a tool from her belt and fiddling with the lock mechanism instead. The door unlocks with a soft click a few moments later.

She throws it open and charges in with Penelo right behind her, the acolyte poking her head in after them, already mid-warning before freezing entirely, words dying in her throat.

The once-opulent chamber is completely wrecked. Sword slashes carve deep gouges across the walls, ceiling, and floor, half the furniture lies in splinters, and every mirror and pane of glass has been shattered into glittering dust. Scorch marks smolder in patches across the room as the air itself still hums faintly with residual holy magic.

A blade flashes through the haze. Hela lunges first, twin swords crossing against a single blade of solid light in a shower of sparks that scorches a fresh line into the ceiling, and Pip parries low, spinning under her guard to counter a strike that grazes her hip and pulls a delighted laugh out of her.

Pip stands in the middle of the wreckage, holding a sword forged from holy light, squared off against a completely naked Hela, who glows faintly with her own light, twin blazing swords held loose and ready in either hand.

On the ruined, splintered remains of the bed, Bela and Nela sit curled together, both equally naked, wine glasses in hand, watching Pip and Hela’s mock battle unfold like spectators at a very erotic fencing match.

Everyone freezes when they lay eyes on Vuvi.

"WHAT," Vuvi finally bellows, "IS HAPPENING IN HERE?!"

"A little light sparring?" Hela mutters, both swords dipping half an inch.

Vuvi storms straight past the acolyte, past Hela, past the entire wrecked room, and drops to her knees in front of Pip. The glowing sword vanishes from his hand in a shower of dying sparks, and he gives her a rapid, apologetic string of beeps and chirps.

Vuvi runs both hands over him, checking joints, seams, servos. "Are you okay? Did they break anything? Did you break anything?"

Pip gives her a nod and a beep, followed by a nervous thumbs up.

She exhales, some of the tension draining out of her shoulders. "It’s okay. You’re okay. Good. This one’s not your fault, Pip." Then she turns, and her whole face folds into a scowl, fury radiating visibly off her, red curls practically crackling.

She marches right up to Hela.

Hela releases her power at once, the glow fading, golden hair tumbling loose down her shoulders. She smiles warmly down at the much shorter half-elf woman now glaring up at her.

Vuvi looks her up and down. Before Hela can get a single apology out, Vuvi rises up onto her tiptoes, needing every extra inch just to clear the goddess’s criminally large chest, and jabs one finger hard into Hela’s sternum.

"Your behavior," Vuvi announces, "is completely unacceptable! Pip is not your personal plaything. He has a family, people who care about him. You do not get to just drag him off for a day and a half like he’s some kind of communal party favor."

She wheels around toward the bed, where Bela and Nela are giggling helplessly, utterly delighted that a mortal woman half their size is scolding a literal goddess.

"And you two! Being big, strong, insanely beautiful, all-powerful Saint Sisters does not give you the right to steal sex-golems that don’t belong to you!"

Bela and Nela both bite their lips, faces dropping into something resembling guilt, though neither quite manages to smother their laughter entirely.

Hela throws her head back and laughs, long and loud and thoroughly entertained. She steps forward, looming over Vuvi so completely that Vuvi can barely see Hela’s eyes past the Saint Sister’s chest, then bends down, scoops Vuvi up like a startled toddler, much to the accompaniment of a great deal of useless protesting, and kisses her firmly on the forehead.

A flash of holy light bursts from the point of contact.

Vuvi’s eyes go wide, gold light flaring beneath her own skin for one brief, startling instant.

Hela sets her back down, smiling. "You have truly created something special, Vuvela Blackthorn. The Great Mother has blessed your construct with something this world has never seen before."

Vuvi stands there, speechless, rubbing the warm spot on her forehead as all the fury seems to drain right out of her at once.

She nods slowly. "Well... okay," she says, deflating, pouting despite herself. "Fine. It’s fine. I’ll forgive you this time."

She grabs Pip’s hand and starts leading him toward the door. The three sisters call out fond farewells behind them, thanking Pip warmly for his time.

At the doorway, Vuvi glances back. "Did he pass your test, at least?"

Hela blinks, genuinely confused.

Nela snorts into her wine.

Bela recovers first. "Oh, yes, the test! Absolutely. He passed. Flying colors!"

Vuvi narrows her eyes.

"There was never any test, was there." Penelo scolds, pointing a furry paw accusingly. "You just wanted a taste of him."

All three sisters suddenly find something fascinating to look at that isn’t Vuvi’s face, cheeks flushing with matching guilt.

Penelo bursts out laughing. "You are, without question, the strangest Saint Sisters I have ever met." She turns to Hela, grinning, half-joking. "Can I get one of those glowing kisses too?"

"Of course," Hela says, already sauntering over, bending down to press a divine smooch to the top of Penelo’s head, releasing another flash of gold.

Penelo beams, utterly delighted. "You are honestly the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. Being in this room feels like standing in front of actual goddesses."

The three sisters exchange a quick, knowing look, and all three of them start giggling at once.

Vuvi tugs Pip firmly toward the hallway before anyone else can get any ideas about foreheads, or heads, or any other part of him. "Come on, you. We’ve got a kingdom full of dwarves waiting on us, and I’d like to get through at least one afternoon without a goddess making off with my construct."

Pip gives one last beep over his shoulder, equal parts apology and farewell, and lets himself be pulled away.