Chapter 359: Useless Steven

Reality.

Wallace’s house.

Steven stared at the button in his hand.

The corners of his mouth slowly began curling upward at an extremely unnatural angle.

"Steven."

Wallace took half a step backward.

"Calm down."

"We’re friends, right?"

"Of course."

Steven raised the button in front of his eyes.

"And precisely because we’re brothers, you’re the first person I want to share this happiness with."

"Don’t worry."

"I’ll be very gentle."

Wallace immediately turned around and ran.

Steven didn’t move at all.

He simply changed the target portrait on the button to Wallace then pressed it.

"Wallace."

"I really have to control you now!"

The instant the button was pressed—

Wallace froze as though someone had hit pause.

His right foot remained suspended in midair.

Even his expression became completely motionless.

"Oh?"

"This works pretty well."

Steven examined the button in his hand.

"Perfect."

"I’ve recently created an entirely new dance routine with exceptionally high artistic value."

"The only problem is that I’ve never found a suitable dancer capable of properly expressing it."

"Dance, Wallace."

"Start dancing."

Wallace’s body immediately began moving against his will.

Smack!

His feet snapped together.

Both arms shot straight over his head, palms pressed together.

His entire body stretched into one rigid vertical line.

Then his arms suddenly dropped.

His hands clasped together in front of his chest.

He leaned slightly forward—while an invisible force forcibly molded his face into an expression of pitiful vulnerability.

"This expression..."

Steven stroked his chin and evaluated it with complete seriousness.

"Still not quite right."

"If it were Diancie, there should be just a little more glistening moisture at the corners of the eyes..."

Wallace’s entire body began trembling uncontrollably.

"All right."

"The grand finale—"

"Ciallo~ (∠?ω＜ )⌒★!"

Wallace’s right hand rose against his will.

He formed a V-sign beside his right eye.

The corners of his mouth were forcibly stretched into a radiant yet horrifyingly distorted smile and one eye was even compelled to wink.

"Excellent! Excellent!"

"Perfect!"

Steven immediately took a photo.

"I’ll use this as the logo for a new product tomorrow!"

[VIP Chat Group]

[Wallace]: @Steven, I’m begging you. Just kill me. Make it quick.

[Steven]: Oh? You can still type in the chat? Looks like the control strength isn’t high enough. Let me adjust it.

[Steven]: Come on. Repeat after me—"My favorite Pokémon is Diancie, and I am willing to rename Sootopolis Gym the Diancie Museum."

[Volkner]: HAHAHAHAHAHA! I’M DEAD! I LAUGHED SO HARD I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

[Flint]: STEVEN! YOU’RE A GODDAMN GENIUS!!!

[Sidney]: The moment Wallace was forced to do that pose, I completely broke! Ciallo~ (∠?ω＜ )⌒★

[Flint]: Wallace’s lifelong nemesis: Steven’s abstract art.

[Raihan]: I suddenly understand why Wallace always looks like he wants to kill Steven whenever his name comes up. Anyone would want to murder him after dealing with this.

[Skyla]: Um... Isn’t Mr. Steven getting a little too excited...?

[Diantha]: I don’t think he’s simply excited. I think he’s finally found a tool that lets him bring all of his abstract artistic ideas into reality. Look at his face. His eyes are practically glowing.

[Leon]: Steven’s eyes never glow. Except when he sees stones or Diancie.

[Steven]: Speaking of Diancie—Ahem. Everyone... What do you think would happen if I used this button to ask Brother Asher where Diancie is? Would he tell me?

[Flint]: ???

[Volkner]: Steven, are you drunk?! Aren’t you afraid he’ll come settle the score afterward?

[Raihan]: Forget afterward. Steven presses that button one second and Asher’s wives silence him the next.

[Steven]: Ahem. Surely it wouldn’t be that serious. I’m genuinely just asking one question. I’m not planning to do anything outrageous.

Reality.

Wallace’s living room.

"Brother Asher..."

"I’m sorry."

"I just really, really want to know where Diancie is."

Steven switched the target portrait on the button from Wallace to Asher.

Then pressed it.

"Brother Asher."

"I really have to control you now!"

After doing that—Steven immediately typed a message into the VIP Chat Group.

[Steven]: @Asher, Brother Asher, do you feel like you’re being controlled?

[Asher]: Yes.

[Steven]: HAHAHA! IT WORKED! Brother Asher, now please tell me honestly— Where is Diancie?!

[Asher]: Right behind you.

Reality.

Steven instinctively turned his head.

The instant he looked back—a fist emerged from the distorted air.

BAM!

It struck Steven squarely in the left eye.

"OWWWWW!!!"

Steven flew straight off the sofa.

He spun two and a half times through the air then slammed against the wall of Wallace’s house in a perfectly spread-eagle position.

Slowly—

He slid down.

"What happened?!"

Steven held up the button and furiously jabbed at it.

"Why isn’t it working anymore?!"

[Ding! Additional Explanation: Because this item is a "One-Time Trial Version," its effect lasts for only ten minutes and the item has now automatically self-destructed. Thank you for using our product. We wish you a pleasant life~]

[Steven]: @Screen, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER?!!!!!

[Screen]: You didn’t ask~ Ciallo~ (∠?ω＜ )⌒★

Reality.

Wallace slowly stood up behind the sofa.

He rolled his neck.

Crack. Crack.

"Steven."

"Ten minutes are up."

"Wallace."

Steven raised one hand in a "pause" gesture.

"I know you’re in a hurry."

"But first, don’t be in a hurry."

Wallace clenched his fists.

His knuckles cracked loudly.

"Don’t worry."

"I’m not in a hurry."

"We have plenty of time."

[VIP Chat Group]

[Flint]: I’M DYING! One second he’s shouting, "I really have to control you now!" The next, Asher punches him straight into the wall!

[Brawly]: Whoa! Beautiful left hook! I never expected Wallace to have such impressive accomplishments in martial arts.

[Raihan]: What are Steven’s odds of surviving?

[Sidney]: Probably none.

[Steven]: I-I’m fine. I can keep going. An injury this small is nothing.

[Volkner]: Amazing. He can still read the group chat after all that. Steven really can take a beating.

[Steven]: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! WALLACE! WHY ARE YOU TYING ME TO THE SOFA?!

[Wallace]: @Everyone, the stones in Steven’s collection room will now be auctioned online. Starting bid: One League Coin. No upper limit. Highest bidder wins.

[Steven]: NOOOOO, WALLACE!!!!! IT TOOK ME YEARS TO COLLECT THOSE STONES!!!!!

[Diantha]: I’ll bid five League Coins for that pink crystal cluster he dug up in a Kalos mine.

[Skyla]: Ten League Coins for the ancient amber he found underground in Unova.

[Wallace]: Sold.

[Steven]: STOOOOOOOOP!!!!!