Chapter 223: Not so little after all

Lucas’s POV

I ate. I sleep. And I conquered.

There’s no such thing being a rude houseguest when you have Deus attached to your name...the Gods are rude as fuck. Yeah, I know I came to spy, but Roman’s bed is crazy soft.

My nose twitches as my eyes flutter open.

I wake up in the same way I always do. My body is wired to jolt awake after every two hours of sleeping, you can never be too safe when you’re the right-hand man to a mafia heir. I turn to lay on my side, and when I do, I don’t find Roman in the room.

"Shit" I whisper as I sit up. My hand reaches my handgun, and I make sure it’s ready to be used. I’d be damned if Roman Stiles is actually playing me.

My feet hit the ground, and I suspend all plans to massacre the entire Stiles household when I hear the soft strumming sound of a guitar being played. With my gun in hand and brain alert, I follow the sound to the balcony.

Roman Stiles is sitting on a wooden chair with a guitar on his lap. His long fingers move over the strings with expertise, so I stand at the door and watch. I don’t recognize what he’s playing, but it sounds really good.

He misses a string, distorting the whole music, and then he drops his head in disappointment.

"You’re really good at that" I say and he doesn’t lift his head. I don’t want to go near him; the burning smell of his pain is too much. I’m an alpha and the instinctual need to control him might make me break him. And breaking our ’middleman’ won’t be a sensible or wise thing to do.

"I’ve wanted to do music ever since I was a kid" he says and looks up. His eyes are shiny with tears. They’re so beautiful and sad. He smiles sadly and lifts his hand like he’s going to play the instrument again, but he doesn’t.

"I can’t make myself fall asleep...how does one fall asleep after finding out about things like that?" he asks and I shrug.

"You’re only finding out about it; you’ll be fine in no time. I lived it and I’m fine...I think" I say to him as I dare to move a little closer. The heavy sadness in his scent makes the air too thick to inhale. It’s like walking in on Damien with his blunts at midnight when he thinks Siren is unaware. That guy thinks he’s a fucking chimney.

"You lived it? What do you mean you lived it?" Roman asks with clear horror in his eyes and I run my fingers through my hair. I hate telling this story. I prefer to joke about my lack of a penis than to talk about it.

"My sister was going to get trafficked by Julian and his men, but because I saw it all, I tracked them down and broke in. So, they held us both" I say in one breath, summarizing the whole thing, and he continues to look at me with that expression.

"Those people had us for weeks. They took us through different levels of hell, but thank Goddess, Darius Deus found us. The other kids with us in that facility had families to return to, Aria and I only had the orphanage and blah blah blah. Oh for fuck’s sake, are you going to puke every time someone says something remotely graphic?" I ask when he blanches.

He’s too soft. Roman Stiles is not made for the fuck ass legacy his father and his goonies were building. The guy wants to make music for Pete’s sake! I bet he also wanted to marry a female omega, have four kids, and buy a home with a white picket fence.

"Come to think of it, you mating Noah is basically incest. You two are the same people. That guy throws up at everything" I joke and Roman doesn’t laugh. Touchy subject, I guess. Oh well.

"We need to destroy these people, Lucas. Aren’t the Deus powerful? Why can’t they ruin them?" he asks with pain in his voice.

"It’s not that simple. Power is not the same as authority. The Deus at the end of the day are high profile criminals; they are wanted by the government but because there hasn’t been hands-on proof, they are safe."

"Whereas these men have made their ways into the political side of life like cancer. Julian has been building this shit way before he made himself known, if we will take them down completely, we have to be smart" I explain. It’s a long monologue and Ken isn’t really following, so I walk to the stone railing and shrug again.

"The world is a more complicated place than it seems" I say and lean against the stone railing with my gun in hand.

"I hate it" he whispers and drops his guitar to the floor.

"We all do. I know you want to crash and mourn but don’t do it yet. Try not to wear yourself out yet. They’ll need you as an active member of their mad team and so we will" I inform him.

I only know how to face things head on. That’s how I have lived life so far. Why go through the whole empathy parade when you can simply start to look for means to make things work?

Is the heater broken? Curl into yourself. Are your shoes damaged? Take em off and walk barefoot. Are you lonely and hurting? Talk to yourself.

"Lucas...be honest. Do I look like one of them?"

"No" I say and tilt my head to look at him better, "you look like Roman. The blonde alpha with stupid good looks and crazy finger games" I nod to myself, satisfied with my own words.

"What if I fall into what they’re doing and become like them--"

My body moves forward and I kiss him impulsively. I am taken by surprise by my own action as we freeze against each other’s mouth. Shit. Shit. Shit. Classic Lucas.

I wait for the ’are you crazy?’ slap to come, but it doesn’t. Roman stays pressed up against me.

Taking this stupid act a step further, I grab the back of his neck and angle his mouth for taking. He complies, opening his mouth for my tongue to slip inside. Dear Goddess, if you’re real and you’re against what I’m doing right now, you better strike me because I won’t stop.

The kiss slowly grows hungrier, and I push against his body till I have his back pressed against the wall. He might wake up later and realize he made a mistake by kissing me, but before that time comes, I’ll savor this.

"Lucas" he mutters my name and breaks the kiss.

"I’m not sorry. I’ve been flirting with you in my head since I saw you" I say. I’m scared about what I’m doing, but who needs to know that? That’s right. Abso-fucking-lutely nobody.

"You’ll get a good night’s sleep, and you won’t think about becoming like them" I say and he nods.

"Okay" he whispers against my mouth.

Well fuck me...my little crush is not so little after all.