Chapter 40-Innocent until proven guilty

Chapter 40: 40-Innocent until proven guilty

Aymara looked over her shoulder to see whether or not he had listened and sat down.

For a moment, the teasing faded, leaving only the old history between them and that silence felt heavy. It was like eggshells that she hated having to even think of stepping on them.

Then Nathaniel’s expression softened. "Perhaps we’re even."

Aymara’s fingers tightened around the spoon. "Not yet, Nate," she denied.

His eyes held hers in stunned silence. "No?"

"No," she remained firm on that decision. She knew he meant they were even about the banter they just had but she couldn’t help but think of the giant mountain between them.

The music continued playing around them, suddenly too loud and not loud enough at the same time.

She wanted to tell him that she had never meant to betray him. That she had been afraid, manipulated, and too weak to choose him when it mattered. But the truth sounded pathetic beside the damage she had caused.

Nathaniel, watching her, wondered whether she understood that his anger had never been the whole of it. Betrayal would have been easier if he had stopped caring about her. Instead, every moment near her made the old wound feel newly opened and made him want to place his hand over hers anyway.

Aymara lowered her gaze. She searched for the right words to express her inner thoughts.

"I know you don’t trust me," she found a starting point.

Nathaniel’s expression tightened. That topic always had the power to get to want to close up entirely but since she was the one initiating the topic, he pressed himself to have the talk. "I didn’t say that."

"You don’t have to."

"Trust isn’t something you can ask for just because you’ve built a fortress and saved my life."

"I know that Nate and I’m not asking you for it," she spoke in one breath and veered around quickly, too quickly.

"Do you?"

Her fingers trembled around the spoon. "I know I don’t deserve it yet."

The admission disarmed him. It was surprising how mature she’d become now. Every time she spoke, her words had a way of forcing his guards down and giving his heart hope that she had learnt his value and won’t hurt him again. On purpose.

Nathaniel looked away first. "Then don’t ask me for it."

"I’m not asking... I swear, I’m not."

"You’re standing there looking at me as if you want me to forget the past happened."

"I don’t want you to forget." Her voice softened. "I want you to know that I remember too and that I won’t brush it under the carpet and pretend I never hurt you."

For a moment, the only sound was the music and the distant thunder of the sea.

Nathaniel leaned against the counter and reached past her for a clean cup to get a glass of water. His arm brushed hers. It was barely a touch.

Aymara still went completely still at the contact and closeness. Nathaniel seemed to notice the reaction and his hand paused beside hers. Neither of them moved.

The warmth of her skin lingered against his arm, and he hated how quickly his body recognized the contact as something it wanted repeatedly.

He had spent years teaching himself not to reach for her. Now, standing this close, restraint felt less like strength and more like fear.

Aymara felt the same dangerous hesitation. She wanted to pull away before he could mistake her silence for permission, yet she wanted to lean into the touch and pretend the years between them had not happened.

Before she could make a choice, he withdrew slowly. "You’re blushing again."

"I’m not," she said, even though the pinkish on her cheeks had now turned reddish like a tomato.

"You are."

"It’s hot in here," she fanned herself with her free hand, the other clutched the spoon too tightly.

"The temperature is regulated in here. How can it be hot?"

"Then the stove is hot," she quickly countered. Inside she wondered, would the outcome be bad if she just admits that she is blushing?

"You’ve been standing beside the refrigerator."

Aymara glared at him while Nathaniel’s smile deepened at how easy she was to tease now.

She wanted to be annoyed at him, however, she found herself smiling too. "Sit down before I put you to work!" She tried to sound threatening but her voice came out too soft to scare a fly, let alone a grown man.

"Would that be so terrible?"

"You don’t know how to cook," Aymara fired back, almost sure he’ll back down and sit down.

"I know how to chop."

"So now you want to handle a knife?" She asked, placing the knife far away from his reach. "Not a chance. Not as long as I am here."

"You’re worried about me?"

"I am worried about the vegetables," she also slid the vegetables away from him.

"Of course you are," he said it so gently that the words felt like a secret.

Aymara looked down at the soup. It was cooking on well and a good distraction.

Nathaniel pulled out a chair and sat near the counter, close enough to watch her without pretending otherwise.

She tried to resume cooking normally but every attempt failed. Every time she moved, she felt his attention. Every time she glanced at him, he was already looking at her. When she couldn’t focus properly, finally, she pointed the spoon at him again.

"Stop staring, will you."

"I wasn’t aware I was," he acted oblivious. "What are you going on about? Is the hot air from the boiling pot getting to you?"

"You are staring."

"Perhaps you’re simply distracted. That isn’t my fault and I won’t accept the accusation."

Aymara’s eyes narrowed. "It’s not an accusation, it’s a fact and you know it. Since when did you learn how to lie?"

Nathaniel leaned back slightly, his gaze never leaving hers. "Even though the world is ending, it is human to remember that one is innocent until proven guilty."

Her breath caught. For once, she had no clever answer to his defense.

Nathaniel seemed to realize what he had said. A faint tension crossed his face, but he didn’t look away.

He should have looked away. He should have remembered the hospital, the betrayal, the years spent believing she had chosen someone else over him. Instead, he noticed the way her lips parted and wondered whether she was as afraid of this pull as he was.

Aymara wondered whether wanting him again made her selfish. She had already taken his freedom once. Was this another kind of theft, asking him to stand close while her heart reached for what his trust could not yet give?

The music played on and outside, another wave struck the fortress barely leaving behind a scratch. Inside, neither of them moved.

Then Aymara cleared her throat and turned back to the stove. "You’re eating two servings and maybe more. We have to get you in top shape as soon as possible."

"Is that a threat?"

"It’s a promise," one that she had made to herself the moment she was reborn.

Nathaniel smiled and for the first time since she had dragged him aboard the fortress, he didn’t ask her to stay away from him.