Chapter 53-Jealous of a cutie (2)

Chapter 53: 53-Jealous of a cutie (2)

After exchanging the nightly pleasantries, Aymara turned toward the door. This time, she made it two steps, then three before Nathaniel shifted behind her.

Aymara heard the faint rustle of fabric, followed by a pause. She stopped without turning around. The storm thundered outside and for one suspended moment, there was no sound in the room.

Nathaniel said her name again softly. "Aymara."

Her breath caught. Something about the way he said her name made her turn around.

Nathaniel was standing a short distance away, with Yaya now settled safely on the bed behind him. His hands hung at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling as though he couldn’t decide what to do with them.

"What is it?"

He looked at her, then at the door, then back at her. "I..." The word faded.

Aymara waited for him to say what was on his mind. She didn’t move closer, and she didn’t move away.

Nathaniel’s jaw tightened. "You looked sad. Are you okay?"

Her heart gave a small, painful beat. "I wasn’t," she lied because she didn’t have a right to be sad.

"You were."

The certainty in his voice startled her. Aymara tried to smile. "Maybe I was just tired."

Nathaniel studied her face. "Was it because of Yaya?"

Her smile faltered. "No."

"Then what was it?"

She could have lied. She almost did. But the room was quiet, and Nathaniel was looking at her with an openness he rarely allowed himself. The question didn’t sound like an interrogation. It sounded as though he genuinely wanted to know.

Aymara lowered her eyes. "I was thinking that she gets to have you without being afraid of losing you... And I know it’s stupid to feel like this about a pet..." She forced a sad laugh.

Nathaniel went still.

Aymara’s fingers twisted together. "She doesn’t have to wonder whether you’ll trust her or worry that one wrong move will make you pull away."

"Aymara..."

"I know it’s not fair," she continued quickly. "She’s a cat. She hasn’t done anything wrong. And you don’t owe me the same patience you give her..." She sniffed, pushing back her feelings.

His expression changed. "I never said I owed you anything."

"I’m well aware of that."

"Then don’t compare yourself to her. That’s not right for you or her, especially if we are all going to stay together."

Aymara looked up. Nathaniel took a slow breath. "Yaya doesn’t know what happened or what is happening so how can you..."

The words landed gently, but they still hurt. Aymara nodded. "I know that but it doesn’t make it hurt less..." Aymara felt so stupid.

"She didn’t leave me wondering why I wasn’t enough or make me question whether everything between us had been real. That’s why she gets my love without trying so hard."

Aymara’s throat tightened. "Got it. Loud and clear."

Nathaniel’s gaze dropped. For a moment, the old wall returned between them, he forced it down and he looked at her again.

"But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember what it was like before. Aymara, you are the one who walked away..."

Aymara’s breath caught. Nathaniel seemed almost surprised by his own words. He took one step toward her. "I remember you. I always have and I always will but..." He choked.

She stood perfectly still.

"I remember how you used to come into my room without knocking because you never needed to," he went on.

Aymara’s lips parted. She wanted to say something but the words got stuck at the tip of her tongue.

"I remember you stealing food from my plate and pretending you weren’t hungry... just because."

A faint, helpless smile touched her mouth. "I was hungry."

"You always said you weren’t."

"I changed my mind."

Nathaniel’s mouth twitched. The smile disappeared almost immediately, but the warmth remained in his eyes.

"I remember you falling asleep beside me during storms because you claimed to be afraid of the thunder sounds," he spoke, his mind going back to the night she walked away.

It was raining so hard, lightning struck the sky and thunder was loud but she hadn’t been scared. She didn’t run back to him for comfort, not even once.

Aymara’s smile faded. "I remember that."

"I remember thinking you would always be there," the words were harsh on his throat, so they came out a bit too quiet.

Aymara’s chest ached. "I wanted to be."

Nathaniel looked at her. She forced herself not to look away. "I know I wasn’t," she whispered. "I know I lost the right to ask you to believe me. But I never stopped wishing I could go back."

Nathaniel’s expression tightened. "Don’t say things you can’t prove, Aymara. They hurt, okay. Truly, they do."

"I can’t prove what I felt."

"No, you can’t," his voice went so lower it was barely a whisper. "And that perhaps, will always be the problem."

"But I can prove what I do now."

The distance between them had narrowed without either of them noticing. Nathaniel’s hands were at his sides again, but his shoulders had lost some of their tension. Aymara could feel the warmth of him now, close enough to touch, still too far to reach.

"I don’t expect you to forget what I did," she said. "I don’t expect you to trust me all at once. I just..." Her voice faltered. Nathaniel waited. "I just don’t want you to look at me forever as if I’m someone you have to survive."

Something in his face broke. Not completely, and not enough to erase the past, but enough for the wall between them to tremble.

"You make it difficult," he murmured. "It would’ve been easy if you had called even once... texted even by accident... or even butt dialed me..."

Aymara gave a small, sad laugh. He painted the picture for her and she hated every inch of it. The colour, the canvas and the whole thing all together.

"You keep coming closer to me and all I can think about is how easy it would be for you to just walk away. And can you blame me, you’ve walked away before."

"..."

"And every time I think I’ve decided where to draw the line, you cross it and give me this tiny hopes that hurt..."

"I can stop," the answer came too quickly. Nathaniel’s eyes lifted to hers. Aymara swallowed. "If you want me to."

The storm crashed against the fortress. Nathaniel stared at her as though the choice had been placed in his hands and he didn’t know whether he was afraid of taking it or losing it.

Then he stepped closer. Aymara’s breath caught. He stopped just in front of her and did nothing else.

Nathaniel’s gaze moved over her face, lingering on her eyes, her lips, and finally the hand she had clenched at her side. Slowly, carefully, he reached for it. His fingers brushed hers.

Aymara didn’t pull away. The contact was barely there, but it sent warmth through her entire body.

Nathaniel’s hand closed around hers, his grip tentative, as though he was still giving her time to refuse him. She turned her palm beneath his and held on, his breath caught.

For a moment, they simply stood there, holding hands in the dim light while the storm raged beyond the walls. It was not forgiveness or a promise, just a moment of silence after they both lost control of their emotions.

Nathaniel looked down at their joined hands. "I don’t know how to do this. Again."

"Neither do I but I believe that we can try... You want to try don’t you?"