Chapter 74-Holding on (2)

Chapter 74: 74-Holding on (2)

Aymara sobbed harder, the sound wrenching through him harshly.

Nathaniel’s heart clenched. "What happened?" he asked her and continued rubbing her back. "Mara, talk to me."

She only buried her face deeper into the crook of his neck. Her tears soaked into his shirt and it felt warm against his skin.

Nathaniel could feel every tremor running through her body, each one making his fear sharpen. His brows drew together with panic.

Had something happened to the ship? Had someone attacked them? Was she hurt?

He quickly looked over her body, searching for blood, bruises, anything that might explain the panic tearing through her. There was nothing to find no matter how hard she looked.

She wasn’t physically hurt. So why was she crying like this?

The question unsettled him, but the way she clung to him made the answer feel close, buried somewhere beneath her terror. Whatever had happened, it had reached a place inside her that even danger and violence had never touched.

"Aymara..." His voice became softer. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head violently in refusal.

"Did someone attack you?"

Another shake, sharper this time but still, Aymara didn’t put her worries into words.

"Then what happened?"

Aymara’s lips trembled. "I..." her voice broke. She tried again, but no sound came out.

Her throat closed around the words, and frustration and fear twisted together until another sob escaped her.

Nathaniel’s hand continued moving gently across her back. "Take your time."

Aymara inhaled shakily. She could still smell him, feel his warmth and hear his heartbeat. It was steady and alive.

That certainty should have calmed her down. Instead, it made the terror she had been holding back burst open. She cried harder, clutching him as though she could anchor herself to him through sheer force.

"I thought..." She swallowed painfully, her voice raw. "I thought I’d lost you."

Nathaniel went still. The words landed with a weight he hadn’t expected. For one brief, painful moment, he imagined what she must have seen or felt to have reacted this strongly and what losing him had come to mean to her.

Aymara squeezed him tighter and almost desperately. "I dreamed about them." Her voice trembled. "Dylan and Sarah."

Nathaniel’s expression darkened at that name, he recognized Dylan but he had no idea who Sarah was or why dreaming of her had unsettled him.

Aymara’s tears continued falling, hot and relentless. "They killed me again."

Nathaniel’s arms tightened around her. ’Again?’

She shuddered violently. "I was back there. The explosion happened again. I was drowning again, and I couldn’t breathe, and they just stood there..." Her voice broke into another sob. "They just watched me die... they didn’t help me... they laughed at my death."

Nathaniel’s jaw tightened. Aymara’s fingers twisted into his shirt. "And then I remembered you."

Nathaniel’s heart ached.

"I remembered leaving you." She buried her face against his neck again. "I remembered walking away from you." Her fingers trembled against his shoulders. "I remembered what I did to you, and then I thought..."

She couldn’t finish. The words collapsed beneath another wave of grief.

Nathaniel gently stroked the back of her head. "You thought what?"

"That I’d lose you again." The words came out almost inaudibly, but the pain behind them was unmistakable.

Nathaniel closed his eyes for a moment. He understood now. It wasn’t simply the nightmare of dying. It was the fear of losing him, the fear of repeating the past and beneath that fear was something even more fragile: the belief that she had already lost the right to keep him, that one mistake could make him vanish from her life all over again.

Nathaniel felt a tender ache spread through his chest. He had known she regretted leaving him, but he hadn’t understood how deeply the memory still haunted her or how fiercely she had been punishing herself for it.

He slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the bed while keeping her securely in his arms. Aymara refused to let go. Not even for a second.

Her grip remained locked around him, her breathing ragged, her whole body tense with the fear that he might disappear the moment she looked away.

Nathaniel didn’t ask her to release him. Nevertheless, he held her more firmly. "You didn’t lose me."

Aymara’s shoulders shook.

"You’re here." His voice was calm and steady. "You’re alive." He gently rubbed her back. "And so am I."

Aymara sniffled, but her fingers still clung to him. "Promise?"

Nathaniel’s chest tightened. He looked down at the woman holding him as though he were the only solid thing left in her world. The realization frightened him a little, but it also made his hold on her gentler and more deliberate.

"I promise," he let out.

She remained silent, her face pressed against him.

Nathaniel pressed his cheek lightly against her hair. "You’re not back there, Mara. I am sure it was a bad dream," his hand moved slowly through her hair. "You’re here with me."

Aymara closed her eyes, but her breathing remained uneven.

"You’re on this ship." He paused, letting the words sink into her. "With me, Aymara. Dylan isn’t here."

Her grip tightened once more before gradually beginning to loosen. Nathaniel continued speaking softly. "Dylan isn’t here... he can’t kill you at all. I won’t let him."

Aymara drew in a shaky breath and clung to him more than ever.

"Sarah isn’t here..." He said even though he had no clue who Sarah was. "And that explosion was probably a nightmare."

Aymara swallowed hard.

"You’re safe, Aymara," his voice became gentler. "And I’m safe."

Aymara finally lifted her head. Her eyes were red and swollen, tears still clinging to her lashes. She stared at him as if she needed to memorize every detail of his face, as if looking away might make him disappear.

Nathaniel gave her a small smile. "See?" He gently wiped a tear from her cheek. "I’m right here."

Aymara stared at him for another second. Then the fragile control she had gathered shattered again, and she suddenly wrapped her arms around him.

Nathaniel chuckled softly. "Still not convinced?"

She shook her head against his shoulder. "No."

He smiled. "Then hold me closely until you are."

Aymara tightened her arms around him with fierce determination. "I will."

Nathaniel’s smile deepened. He had no idea how long she intended to stay like this but he didn’t mind. If holding him was what she needed to convince herself that he was real, then he would let her hold him for as long as necessary.

He could feel how carefully she listened to his breathing, how her fingers remained tense against his back, how she flinched whenever his body shifted. Every steady heartbeat was an answer to the fear she couldn’t yet silence and his every breath told her he was still there.

Outside the room, the apocalypse continued. The ocean remained dangerous, the world remained broken and enemies were still out there but inside that room, none of it mattered.

For the moment, Aymara had only one thing she needed to know. She needed to confirm that he was safe with her.

She pressed her face against his neck again and took another slow, shuddering breath, allowing his familiar scent to settle the last remnants of the nightmare.

Her tears still fell but they no longer came from panic alone. Relief moved through her in painful waves, leaving her weak and trembling.

This time, when she closed her eyes, there was no explosion, no ocean, no Dylan, and no Sarah.

Only Nathaniel’s heartbeat beneath her ear. Aymara finally felt safe in his arms and she slowly started relaxing. "Don’t ever leave me, Nate," she whispered, desperately.