Chapter 77-In a heartbeat

Chapter 77: 77-In a heartbeat

"Mara, have some water."

Nathaniel’s voice was timid as he cautiously offered her a glass of water. He seemed almost afraid of upsetting her, and the cup trembled slightly in his hands, spilling a few drops onto the floor. The moment he noticed, he froze.

His gaze darted toward her face, searching for any sign of displeasure. The nervousness in his eyes made Aymara’s heart ache. Had she frightened him so badly that even offering her a glass of water had become something he needed to approach with caution?

She choked back a sob, sat up, and pulled him into a tight hug.

Nathaniel stiffened momentarily before allowing her to draw him close. Then his arms closed around her with hesitant care as though he feared holding her too tightly might make her disappear.

He was warm and soft against her, a comforting presence with that familiar, clean scent she had come to associate with safety. Aymara buried her face against his shoulder and breathed him in, clinging to him as though the steady beat of his heart could anchor her to the present.

His hand hovered uncertainly over her back before finally settling there. The touch was gentle, almost reverent, and it sent a fresh ache through her chest. Even now, after everything she had done, he was still trying to comfort her.

Slowly, the turmoil inside her began to settle. She had been dragged through the agony of her past all over again, forced to relive the betrayal, and the terror of dying. But Nathaniel was here with her and supporting her.

He was alive, breathing peacefully beside her, and she could hold him as tightly as she wanted. She could feel the warmth of him beneath her hands, the quiet rise and fall of his chest and the undeniable proof that he had not been taken from her again.

After taking a moment to collect herself, Aymara finally released him enough to accept the glass of water.

Her fingers brushed his as she took it, and neither of them moved away immediately. She gulped it down in several hurried swallows, barely pausing to breathe between them.

Nathaniel waited patiently until she finished. Only then did he take the empty glass from her hands and place it on the bedside table.

"Can I ask you something?"

Aymara shifted away from him and settled beside him on the bed. The space between them was barely wide enough to breathe, yet she could feel the warmth of his body along her side.

She wanted to close the distance completely, to take his hand and hold it until he understood that she was not going anywhere, but she restrained herself.

"After putting up with me acting so childish?" She managed a faint smile. "You can ask me anything."

Nathaniel studied her for a moment. His gaze traveled from her bare feet to her disheveled hair, taking in her rumpled nightgown and the exposed length of her legs.

He wondered whether Aymara had begun treating him like a log or a stuffed bear. Something she could cling to whenever she pleased without considering that it might have feelings of its own.

Otherwise, why would she have rushed into his room wearing such a loose nightgown, with her hair in an attractive mess, only to throw herself at him as though he were a life-saving buoy?

The thought made his ears grow warm. He could still feel the imprint of her body against his, the softness of her cheek beneath his chin, the way her breath had warmed his neck. Not to mention her chest pressed tightly against his when she held him.

For one dangerous moment, he imagined what it would feel like if she held him because she wanted him, not because she was frightened.

The thought made his ears burn hotter, but the amusement quickly faded from his expression.

"Why would you react like that at the thought of me dying?" he asked quietly.

Aymara’s faint smile disappeared.

Nathaniel lowered his eyes, his fingers curling against his lap. His voice had been calm, but the question carried the weight of something he had rehearsed countless times and never dared to ask.

"You killed me in your heart a long time ago. So, why would it affect you so badly if I did die in truth?"

The words struck Aymara hard. Too hard. Just moments ago, she had been basking in the warmth of his embrace, allowing herself to believe that everything would eventually be all right.

Now, the reminder of her past mistake tore through that fragile peace, dragging her back to the consequences of the choices she had made.

She had abandoned him, broken his heart and in her first life, she had died without ever getting the chance to make things right.

Aymara clenched the hem of her nightgown between her fingers. She held the fabric so tightly that the edges dug into her skin, but she barely noticed the discomfort.

All she could see was the faint distance in Nathaniel’s eyes, the guarded expression of a man who had once loved her without reservation and had learned, painfully, to protect himself from wanting her too much. 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ

Nathaniel watched her reaction from the corner of his eye. Regret flickered across his face. Perhaps he shouldn’t have asked. She had only just recovered from whatever had frightened her so badly, and he was already bringing up the past.

Yet the question had been troubling him for a long time and Noel’s warning had only made it worse. He had reminded Nathaniel of those dark years after Aymara walked away, when Nathaniel had been left to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart alone.

What if Aymara’s affection was temporary? What if she was simply caught up in her regret, desperate to make up for the past, only to leave him again once the guilt faded?

What if he allowed himself to love her again, only to watch her turn away a second time?

Nathaniel didn’t want to think that way. He wanted to trust her. But wanting to trust someone and finding the courage to do so were two entirely different things. Especially when the person he wanted most was also the person who had taught him how completely love could hurt.

"You don’t have to answer me," he said, quietly retreating. "Forget I asked."

Aymara immediately lifted her head. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying, the corners swollen and her lashes still damp. Yet beneath the exhaustion, there was a sudden determination in her gaze.

She couldn’t let him retreat behind that wall again. Not when he was finally giving her a glimpse of the fears he had kept buried inside him or when his lowered eyes and carefully controlled voice revealed how much he still wanted an answer, even while preparing himself to be disappointed by it.

Aymara drew a deep breath and slowly released it. Then she reached out, placing a finger beneath his chin. The contact was light, but Nathaniel went still beneath it. She gently lifted his lowered head and guided his face toward hers until their eyes met.

"Look at me, Nathaniel."

He obeyed even though uncertainty remained in his expression.

Aymara held his gaze. Her finger lingered beneath his chin, and she could feel the faint tension in his jaw.

The closeness made her pulse quicken, but she refused to look away. If she was asking him to trust her with his heart, she had to be brave enough to let him see all of hers.

"If I could rip open my chest and show you my heart to prove that I can’t live without you, I’d do it in a heartbeat."

Nathaniel forgot what he had intended to say. Her words reached him, but it was her eyes that truly captured his attention. They were still swollen from crying, yet they glimmered beneath her damp lashes, bright and captivating, like stars reflected in a rain-soaked sky.

He found himself staring. Firmly.

There was something almost unfair about those eyes. Even after crying so hard, even with her hair in disarray and her face pale from exhaustion, she could still make his heart stumble simply by looking at him.

And right now, she was looking at him as though he were the only person in the world who mattered to her.

Nathaniel struggled to keep his thoughts straight. Her hand was still beneath his chin, her thumb close enough to brush his skin. If he leaned forward even slightly, his lips would meet hers.

The awareness tightened every muscle in his body, turning the air between them warm and dangerously thin.

Aymara, completely unaware of the effect she was having on him, continued speaking.

"I made a mistake, Nathaniel. A terrible one." Her thumb brushed gently against his chin. "I’m not flawless. I can be foolish, and I can make the wrong choices, just like everyone else."