Chapter 79-Can I kiss you?

Chapter 79: 79-Can I kiss you?

"Believe me when I say there isn’t a mistake I wish I could take back more than that one," Her voice trembled, but she didn’t look away.

She swallowed, fighting the lump forming in her throat.

"I wish I could go back to the day I walked away from you. I wish I could shake some sense into my younger self and make her understand what she was throwing away." A bitter smile touched her lips. "I wish I could make her see that she was abandoning the person who had always stood beside her for someone who never deserved her trust."

Her fingers curled slightly beneath his chin.

"But I can’t change what happened. I can’t erase the pain I caused you, and I can’t ask you to forget it just because I’m sorry for what I did. I know that."

Nathaniel’s expression shifted and became more soft but Aymara could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the instinctive reluctance to believe that her remorse would last.

She couldn’t blame him. She had given him every reason to doubt her.

"I know I hurt you," she continued softly. "I know that saying I’m sorry won’t suddenly make everything right. And I know you might never be able to trust me the way you did before. But I need you to understand something."

She leaned closer, until the warmth of her breath brushed his lips. Nathaniel’s shoulders went rigid. His eyes flickered down for the briefest moment before returning to hers, but the effort it took not to look again was written plainly across his face.

"I never want to be the reason you feel abandoned again. I never want you to lie awake wondering whether I’ve left you behind. And I never want you to believe that your life means so little to me that I could simply walk away from you."

Aymara’s voice broke on the final words. She paused, gathering herself before continuing. "You asked why I reacted like that at the thought of you dying."

Her eyes filled with tears again. "It’s because the thought of a world without you terrifies me, Nathaniel. Because I’ve already made the mistake of living as though I could be happy without you, and I refuse to make it again."

She lowered her forehead until it rested gently against his. The contact stole the breath from both of them.

Nathaniel’s hands tightened against his lap, his fingers curling into the fabric as he fought the instinct to reach for her.

Aymara could feel the warmth of his skin, the faint tremor he tried desperately to hide, and the fragile restraint holding him back. His breath touched her mouth in uneven bursts.

"I don’t expect you to believe everything I say today. I don’t expect you to trust me overnight. I’ll prove it to you, one day at a time, for as long as you’ll let me," her voice softened into a whisper. "But please, don’t ever think that I’ve killed you in my heart."

She closed her eyes briefly, allowing a tear to slip down her cheek. "You’re the one person I would never willingly lose again."

The words came from the deepest part of her heart. There was no performance in them. No attempt to manipulate him into forgiving her. They were simply the truth she had carried inside her since the moment she regained her memories.

For a long moment, neither of them moved as the silence between them was crowded with everything they had lost, everything they still feared, and everything neither of them yet dared to ask for in words.

Aymara’s forehead remained against his, their breaths mingling in the tiny space between them. None between them seemed willing to be the first to pull away.

Nathaniel could hear her breathing, feel the warmth of her body and smell the faint sweetness of her hair. And suddenly, all the careful walls he had built around his heart began to crumble.

He had spent years telling himself that he had moved on. That he could survive without her. That he could keep his distance and protect himself from ever experiencing that kind of heartbreak again but then she had returned and despite everything, his heart had followed her.

That very heart was pounding so hard that he was almost certain she could hear it.

Nathaniel swallowed. His gaze dropped to her lips and this time, Aymara noticed the movements of his eyes because of how close they were.

Her breath caught and her fingers tightened against the edge of his sleeve. She didn’t look away.

The realization passed between them. It was sudden and undeniable. They were no longer speaking about what they had lost. They were standing at the edge of something they had both been too afraid to name.

Nathaniel’s fingers curled against his trousers. He couldn’t keep pretending. Not tonight, especially when she was sitting this close, looking at him as though he were hers to claim.

Aymara’s hand shifted between them, her fingers brushing his. The contact was barely there, but Nathaniel reacted as though it had sent a current through him.

He turned his hand beneath hers, slowly, giving her every chance to pull away. She didn’t.

Instead, her fingers slipped between his and intertwined. His breath left him in a shaky exhale.

"Mara..."

Aymara opened her eyes. "Yes?"

Nathaniel looked down at their joined hands, then back at her. The question seemed to catch somewhere behind his ribs.

"Can I kiss you?" The question came out softer than he intended, almost a whisper.

Aymara’s breath caught. Her heart that had been still in ache a few moments back was now beating so hard against her ribs. The sound too loud but not enough to drown out Nathaniel’s words. She heard him clearly.

Funny, how every time she came into his room and they talked about their feelings and the past, a kiss always came up. That time he had kissed her cheek, now however, a part of her hoped he meant a kiss on the lips.

Nathaniel’s thumb moved once over her knuckles, a nervous, almost pleading stroke. His gaze searched her face, and when she didn’t answer immediately, his jaw tightened.

"I need to ask," he said, his voice lower now. "Because I don’t want to take anything from you that you don’t want to give. Not after everything I’ve already lost. And if this is only guilt... or grief... or the fear of what might happen next... tell me. I’ll stop."

His eyes held hers. They were unguarded and aching. "But if you mean what you said... if you really want me here, with you... and you feel something for me that’s more than friendship... then please, Mara. Let me kiss you."