Chapter 262 - The Mirror Stag ( Part 1 )

The forest greeted her with silence.

When Jennie passed beneath the first branches of the forest, the sunlight was gone. Not gradually. Immediately. In one step, she found herself in a world of mist and endless trees.

The tree trunks grew down from the sky, while the roots were climbing up to the clouds. Tiny silver stars hung from the branches trembling even without any wind. The trees had fruits in the shape of heart glass. There were some trees blooming the flowers opening and closing with the rhythm of a heartbeat.

Moss carpeted the ground. Jennie’s boots did not make a sound stepping on it. She turned back. The entrance disappeared leaving only the forest behind.

"...Fine."

Jennie tightened the strap of her coat.

"Just another beautiful forest made by somebody who definitely hates guests."

There was the sound of a chime ringing in the forest. Jennie paused.

Something moved between the trees. At first, Jennie thought she saw just a reflection. But then the animal stepped out of it.

Stag.

His body was slender and almost transparent under the cover of the pale mist. The crystal antlers were growing out of his head, branching into intricate structures catching the glow of the silver leaves. Scenes flickering in each of them.

Village. Palace. Quiet bedroom. Field of flowers under the golden sky.

The stag looked at Jennie with luminous eyes.

And another stag stepped out from the shadows. And another.

Soon there were dozens of Mirror Stags standing between the trees. They did not get close. They were just looking.

Jennie observed them carefully.

"Are you the guardian Vorthal warned me about?"

The nearest stag raised its head. His voice resonated in Jennie’s mind.

We are the lives you abandoned.

Jennie’s body tensed. "What?"

The stag drew closer. It had crystal horns, gleaming.

You are the roads not taken. The words unsaid. The mornings that should have been and the tomorrows stolen away from you.

The forest shifted. Trees rearranged. Mist evaporated.

And Queen Jennie found herself in the courtyard of the Seraiya Palace.

The sun was shining. Flowers bloomed. Lilia KingHeart was alive.

Jennie stood stock still.

Lilia was by the fountain, dressed in white dress rather than in her royal outfit. She had let her hair flow freely and her eyes gleamed with merriment. She seemed younger in some indescribable way—she didn’t bear the burden of responsibility for the kingdom, there was no crown on her head to remind of the promises she had made.

She was simply Lilia.

The girl whom Jennie once used to drink tea with and who was seated right next to her under the palace windows.

"Lilia?"

Lilia tilted her head.

"Why are you standing there like someone has just told you that the end of the world is coming?"

No sound escaped Jennie’s mouth.

Lilia started moving towards her. And then she smiled.

"There you are."

She hugged Jennie. Warmth enveloped her.

Jennie could feel Lilia’s hands embracing her shoulders, Lilia’s cheek touching the top of her head, the familiar smell of flowers and tea. For a second she forgot everything—the demon invasion, the ritual, the crumbling of the palace under the power of Zuko, the day Lilia died.

Everything was gone because Lilia was hugging her right now.

Jennie’s arms rose up. Her left hand was clutching the fabric of Lilia’s dress and she pressed her face to the girl’s shoulder.

And she started crying.

"I’m sorry."

Her voice was broken.

"I’m so sorry."

Lilia hugged her tighter. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I..."

She couldn’t say anything more.

Because I wasn’t strong enough. Because I was late. Because I promised to bring you home. Because you trusted me and I failed you.

Lilia stroked her hair. "Jennie, look at me."

Jennie looked up. Lilia smiled.

"You returned."

Four short words. They broke something inside of her.

Jennie started crying even harder. Lilia hugged her again.

"It’s okay. I’m here."

The courtyard shimmered.

For the first time in what seemed like eternity, Jennie allowed herself to believe it. Perhaps the world fixed itself. Perhaps the ritual failed. Perhaps Zuko never killed Lilia at all.

Perhaps this is what she would find at the end of the Celestial Battlefield—a world where she finally managed to earn her happy ending.

The illusion changed.

A familiar voice sounded from behind her.

"Leo! You’re late!"

Jennie turned around.

Rudy was at the entrance to the palace. She had her hands on her hips and her hair was shining in the sunlight. Her face carried the same combination of impatience and mischief which Jennie remembered so well.

Rudy pointed at her. "You promised that you would return before breakfast!"

Jennie stopped breathing. "Rudy..."

"What? Do you think I will tolerate that you don’t know how to read a clock?"

Rudy approached her.

"Honestly, if you are going to leave us for days then at least bring back something interesting. You can’t expect me to live only on palace food forever."

Jennie stared at her. Then she laughed. Small, incredulous sound.

Rudy grinned. "There! See? This is what I meant. You looked like someone took away your whole personality."

She tapped Jennie’s forehead.

"Come on. Everybody is waiting."

Everybody.

The word sank deep into Jennie’s heart.

She followed Rudy into the palace.

In the dining room, she could hear familiar voices. Lucas was talking to Arthur about some trivial matter related to royal safety. Elena was making tea. Snow was lying by the fireplace in his smaller form, spreading all nine of his tails on the floor and pretending to be asleep.

Snow opened an eye when Jennie appeared.

"You’re late."

Jennie stopped for a second. The world seemed to tilt.

Snow’s voice was exactly the same as she remembered it—it was dry, calm, infuriatingly familiar.

Jennie walked to him. Snow lifted his head.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

She kneeled beside him. Her left hand hovered over his white fur.

She was afraid to touch him. She was afraid that the moment she would do it, he would fade away.

Snow stared at her silently. Then he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her palm.

Warm, solid, alive.

Jennie lowered her head. Tear rolled down her cheek.

Snow closed his eyes. "You are really strange, Jennie."

She laughed through the tears. "Yes."

Her voice shook. "Yes."

The scene changed once more. The dining room dissolved into sunlight. The palace doors opened.

And Roxy was there.

Her ears twitched when she saw Jennie. Her eyes opened wide in shock.

For one beat of the heart, she simply stood there. And then she started running.

"Jennie!"

Roxy hugged her. Jennie stumbled backwards, catching her with her left arm.

Roxy clung to her.

"You idiot! Absolute, unbelievable idiot!"

She hit Jennie’s shoulder with her fist.

"Do you know how worried I was?"

Jennie could hardly breathe.

Roxy’s arms squeezed her even more tightly. "I thought I’d never see you again."

Jennie closed her eyes. Her left hand touched Roxy’s back.

"I’m sorry."

Roxy released her slightly to look at her. Her eyes were wet.

"Don’t apologize."

She swallowed.

"Just stay."

The words were so quiet that Jennie could hardly hear them.

"Please."

Jennie stared at her. Then she hugged Roxy again.

They stood there for a long time.

The palace bells sounded. The flowers swayed. The sun warmed Jennie’s face.

And the world was perfect.

Days passed, or weeks, Jennie could not tell.

Time was no longer measurable in the forest.

She woke up in the palace each day, had breakfast with her family, argued with Rudy, listened to Snow whining about his sleeping conditions, and spent the afternoons with Lilia.

At times, they would sit together in the garden. At times, they would drink tea beneath the palace windows. At times, they would just watch the sunset.

There were no demons. No curses. No divine rituals. No corpses. No blood. No death.

Rudy was alive. Lilia was alive. Snow was alive.

Everyone was alive.

And Jennie was happy.

But she was sure she should question that happiness. Somewhere deep inside her head there was a voice that was whispering that she shouldn’t be this happy because the Celestial Battlefield never offered anything for nothing.

Every time she tried to listen to that voice, the forest gave her a new reason to stay.

The joke made by Rudy. The smile of Lilia. Snow lying at her feet. Roxy holding her hand when she thought no one was watching her.

Everything was too beautiful to question.

Why would she leave?

Why would she return to a world where all those people that meant something to her were dead?

Why would she choose suffering when happiness was finally available to her?

One evening, Jennie was sitting together with Lilia in the palace garden. The sun was going down, the golden light was filling the place, making it look like a beautiful painting.

Lilia was leaning against Jennie’s shoulder.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

Jennie was looking at her. "What kind of a question is this?"

"The same that I’ve just asked you."

"You are getting dangerously philosophical."

Lilia giggled, then went quiet. "I’m serious."

She was looking toward the horizon.

"What are you going to do when everything is over?"

Jennie was thinking about this question. She had spent too much time thinking about the next battle, the next enemy, the next impossible thing that she should fight that she had forgotten how to imagine some other kind of life.

But here, beside Lilia, the answer was easy.

"I want to stay."

Lilia looked at her. "Here?"

"Here."

Jennie was lowering her eyes.

"I want to stop fighting. I want to stop losing people. I want to wake up tomorrow and know that all of them will be here."

Her voice was becoming even softer.

"I want to be happy."

Lilia was looking at her with softened expression, then was reaching for her hand.

"You deserve that."

Jennie was staring at their hands joined. Some strange feeling was rising inside her, not happiness, but something sharp. Something resembling a grief.

Lilia was squeezing her fingers. "Jennie?"

Jennie was looking at her. Lilia was smiling.

"You know, everyone loves you."

Jennie froze. The silence was falling in the garden. Some soft wind was rustling the flowers.

Lilia kept talking like nothing was happening.

"You are the reincarnation of the greatest swordswoman that ever lived. You are the White Sword Hunter. The hero that saved the kingdom."

Jennie was tightening her fingers.

Lilia was turning toward her.

"But I think you are much more than that."

Jennie couldn’t say a word.

Lilia was smiling warmly.

"You are Leonis KingHeart."

These words sounded like a bell. In that moment, the world became transparent. The flowers became transparent. The palace became transparent.

Jennie was looking at Lilia.

Lilia blinked. "What?"

"My name."

Some confused expression was covering the face of Lilia.

"Leonis KingHeart?"

The world was going into silence.

Jennie was staring at her. Lilia was tilting her head.

"What’s wrong?"

The sunlight was fading. The flowers were stopping rustling.

Jennie was slowly withdrawing her hand. "No."

Lilia was frowning. "Jennie?"

"No."

Jennie was standing up. The sound of the scraping of her chair echoed in the garden. She was looking around at the palace garden—the palace, the fountain, the golden light. Everything was still beautiful. Everything was still perfect.

But suddenly, she understood that everything was an illusion.

It wasn’t showing her the world where she had saved everyone. It was showing her the world where she had become another person. Where she could be praised and celebrated. Where she had never failed anyone. Where she had never lost.

Where she hadn’t even been Jennie.

Her breathing was becoming unsteady. She was looking towards the palace windows. Arthur and Elena were standing there, smiling at her. Lucas was waving from the dining room. Rudy was laughing while Snow was stealing food from her plate. Roxy was standing near the entrance, her violet eyes full of love.

Everyone was watching her. Everyone was expecting her to stay.

But no one had ever called her Jennie. Not once.

They were praising Leonis. They were celebrating the legendary swordsman. They were offering her the happiness that she had always been dreaming of as long as she had forgotten who she actually was.

Jennie was looking at Lilia. She was smiling.

"Come inside, Leonis. Everyone is waiting."

Her heart was hurting. She wanted to stay. God, she wanted to stay. She wanted to hug Lilia again. She wanted to listen to Rudy’s laugh. She wanted to stroke Snow. She wanted Roxy to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right.

She wanted that happiness so badly that it hurt to breathe.

But this wasn’t her life. This wasn’t her future. This was a wonderful illusion based on everything she had lost.

Jennie closed her eyes. "I’m sorry."

Lilia’s smile was fading. "What are you talking about?"

Jennie was taking a deep trembling breath. "I wish this was real."

The garden was becoming silent.

"I wish I could stay here. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and see all of you again."

Her voice was breaking.

"But I can’t."

She was opening her eyes. "I don’t deserve the happiness in my life."

The words were quiet. But the moment she said them, the sky was cracking.

A thin crack appeared above the palace, starting to spread across the golden horizon like a glass break. The fountain was stopping working. The flowers were wilting. The sunlight was fading.

Lilia was staring at her. For one moment, the expression on her face was not confusion.

It was sorrow.

Then the illusion was smiling again. "Come back inside, Leonis."

Jennie was shaking her head. "No."

The palace was breaking. The dining room was dissolving. The laugh was fading.

One by one, her beloveds dissolved into the silver mist.

It was Rudy’s turn next.

"Leo..."

Jennie felt his presence in her fingertips. But there was nothing.

Forest. She stood under upside-down trees, surrounded by silver leaves and pale mist. The Mirror Stags watched her through the gaps in the trunks. They reflected in their crystal horns the pieces of life that she left behind.

Jennie’s tears fell quietly. She bowed her head.

"I know."

Her voice quivered.

"I know I could have stayed."

She put her left hand on her chest.

"But that wouldn’t be living."

The closest stag approached her. Its eyes glowed, looking at her without condemnation.

Jennie wiped her tears. "I cannot bring them back."

These words cut her heart. But she needed to finish saying them.

"I cannot erase my actions, I cannot become strong enough to protect all of them, and I cannot keep deceiving myself that if I’m suffering enough, the world will return them to me."

She looked up.

"But I can remember them."

The forest trembled.

"I can keep them in my memories."

Her voice gained strength.

"And I can keep walking."

The Mirror Stags bowed their heads. Their crystal horns turned into thousands of silver particles. The images vanished.

The forest cracked open.

The trees opened apart in the middle of the clearing as the ground broke under Jennie’s feet. An enormous creature emerged from the crack, its pale body towering over all the trees around.

A white stag. Its huge horns spread across the sky, covered with countless crystal spikes. The body was enormous – almost like a palace, and its hooves stepped on the ground without making any noise.

But its face was not an animal one.

A human’s face.

A beautiful, long-haired woman stared at Jennie from her forehead. Her eyes looked at her.

Lilia’s eyes.

Jennie stopped breathing.

The beast bowed its huge head. It opened its mouth.

And Lilia’s voice came out of it.

"Why did you let me die?"