Chapter 108

Cassandra could not bear the thought.

"My lady?"

The maid’s voice brought her back to the present and it was clear that this wasn’t her first attempt to get Cassandra’s attention.

Cassandra blinked dazedly.

"Would you like me to ask the kitchen staff to prepare something for you?"

Cassandra shook her head.

The maid wisely let the matter drop. She was concerned for her mistress, but she also knew when it was best to stop pressing and give her some space.

Cassandra left her chambers a short while later and went directly to the Queen.

When she entered, Lady Eliza Marwood was just taking her leave.

"Lady Cassandra," Eliza said warmly before offering Delphine a curtsy. "Your Majesty."

Delphine smiled and returned the farewell. Once the other woman was gone, she directed her full attention to Cassandra.

"There you are." Delphine’s entire face brightened. She beckoned Cassandra over.

Cassandra walked across the room and sat beside her on the sofa.

Delphine reached for her hand affectionately. "How was the picnic? Did you enjoy yourself with Georgiana and Constance?"

For several seconds, Cassandra couldn’t muster up an answer. Theodore’s words kept replaying in her mind.

"Yes," she finally managed. "I had a pleasant time. Lady Cavendish was rather difficult company, but she was tolerable. Georgiana and Constance were lovely, as always."

"I am glad."

Without thinking, Cassandra’s thumb traced softly over Delphine’s hand.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, unable to help herself. There were countless other questions she wanted to ask the queen but this would have to do for now.

"Well enough." Delphine answered indulgently, already knowing that not answering would just heighten Cassandra’s worries.

After that, the floodgates were thrown open, and the questions came pouring out.

"Did you sleep properly last night?"

"Yes."

"Did you find your morning walk tiring?"

"No."

"Was your appetite better today?"

Delphine’s smile turned knowing.

"Yes, my dear. You need not trouble yourself with me, I have a team of physicians for that." The Queen squeezed her fingers lovingly. "You see me every day. You know I am recovering just fine. I am walking without assistance, eating properly, and constantly annoying my physicians by disregarding half of what they say."

Delphine’s playful words drew a smile from Cassandra.

Delphine lifted her free hand and brushed her fingers affectionately against Cassandra’s cheek. "You have nothing to worry about, I am as strong as an ox and twice as stubborn."

Cassandra swallowed. "I know. I suppose seeing you ill frightened me more than I realized."

Delphine’s thumb moved gently along her cheek.

"There is nothing wrong with being frightened when someone you love falls ill."

Cassandra lowered her eyes.

Delphine seemed content to let the moment rest there and was delighted to change the subject.

"Do you know when the Duke is returning to Caldor?" Her eyes always gleamed with interest whenever she spoke to Cassandra about Draven and it had been that way since the first time he called on her. Since then, her attempts at matchmaking had been anything but subtle.

Cassandra’s gaze immediately darted away, cheeks heating. She couldn’t handle Delphine when she got like this.

When Delphine latched onto something that amused her—particularly when it concerned one of her matchmaking schemes—she could be as persistent as a dog with a bone.

"How should I know?" She shrugged, feigning indifference.

Delphine wasn’t fooled and her pointed stare said as much.

Cassandra shifted on the seat, doing all she could to seem unbothered. "It is not like I am his valet or his personal secretary. I cannot possibly know everything about the Duke’s schedule."

The queen hummed coyly in response.

"I have always liked Montague," Delphine said eventually. "He is exactly the sort of man people imagine when they speak of an ideal gentleman. He is handsome, accomplished, principled, and possesses a rather admirable sense of justice. His father was the same way. Really, who would not want a man like that?"

The pointed look accompanying the final question left no room for misunderstanding.

Cassandra looked at her and shrugged again. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Delphine laughed softly. Then she placed her other hand over Cassandra’s.

"My dear, I may be getting older, but I am not so old that I have forgotten what courtship looks like. You understand that when a man likes a woman, he takes steps to win her affection."

Cassandra felt herself growing mortified.

She was twenty-seven years old, a grown woman who had experienced enough of life to know better. Yet Delphine was speaking to her as though she were an eighteen-year-old debutante who had never seen beyond the sheltered confines of society. It was mortifying, even if Delphine was only teasing her.

The Queen continued to pat her hand affectionately.

"I know what happened after your engagement to John fell apart. I know that you are afraid of giving your heart to another person." She began tactfully, her tone gentle. "I would dearly love to see you happy. I would love to see you find someone you can trust, someone you can love and cherish, and who will love and cherish you in return. Theodore and I were fortunate enough to find that with each other, but I know happiness does not look the same for everyone. A woman does not need a husband to have a happy life, and I would never wish you to marry merely because others expect it of you."

She held Cassandra’s gaze, eyes the color of crystal clear waters. "But if, one day, you meet someone you can trust, someone you can imagine loving, and you discover that he loves you in return, then I hope you will not allow fear to keep you from exploring it. Life is too short to spend it ruled by fears and insecurities."

Cassandra’s throat tightened. She bit lightly at the inside of her cheek, wrestling with the guilt that had suddenly risen within her.

She was deceiving this woman and the truth was far less romantic. Before long, she would marry Draven, yet the two of them could never be anything more than business partners.

Still, Cassandra could not bring herself to destroy the glimmer in Delphine’s eyes.

"The Duke has been courting me," she admitted quietly.

Delphine’s face somehow lit up even more. Any brighter and it would be blinding.

"He has?" She gasped in obvious delight.

Cassandra gave her a small, sheepish smile. "He has made his intentions rather clear. He has also spoken of marriage."

"I knew it." She boasted. "I told you I have an eye for these things." Delphine looked positively pleased with herself. "And has he proposed?"

"Not yet."

"But you think he will?"

Cassandra hesitated before nodding. "I believe so. Soon."

Delphine’s happiness was infectious despite everything weighing upon Cassandra.

She reminded herself that there was no harm in allowing the Queen this one moment of enjoyment.

For the next few minutes, Delphine spoke eagerly about the Duke, about how she had always thought there was something between them, about how pleased she was that Cassandra might finally have found someone worth considering and how they would make a handsome couple.

While she gushed over the good news, Delphine noticed that Cassandra had grown quiet.

"My dear, do you love him?"

The question caught Cassandra off guard, piercing deeper than she expected.

She could not answer that question, at least not honestly—not to the Queen, who was such a firm believer in love and happy endings. How could she possibly explain that she was marrying Draven for his resources, with the ultimate goal of securing her position as a duchess?

Her first instinct was to agree, because that was what Delphine wanted to hear. But Cassandra could not make herself say something so intimate when it was not true.

She lowered her gaze self-consciously. "I do not know."

When Delphine’s expression softened, Cassandra hurried to explain.

"It is not that I dislike him. Quite the opposite. I like him very much. He has been nothing but kind to me, and I find him... agreeable."

She paused. "And I think I could trust him." That was the part she could say without lying. "I can see myself knowing him better. Building something good between us. Perhaps even..." She hesitated. "Perhaps even loving him, in time."

Before Cassandra quite understood what was happening, the Queen drew her into her arms.

Cassandra went still for only a moment before surrendering to the embrace.

She rested her head against Delphine and closed her eyes.

The warmth of the Queen’s arms around her loosened something inside her that had been clenched since Theodore had spoken those terrible words.

For a little while, Cassandra allowed herself to be held. Her mind was her own once more without being burdened.

She did not think about John or Hester.

She did not think about Whitmore or the portfolio waiting in her chambers.

She simply held on to the woman she bargained with death to save.