Chapter 41. You are god damm right!

Chapter 41: 41. You are god damm right!

In a dusty, burnt room of the ancient dungeon beneath The Greyclock Conservatory, there is a regretful boy lying flat on the stone bricks, talking to himself like he’s a completely different person than he was a moment ago.

I should stop that, it’s not helping at all. The more I think about my past actions, the less I feel like myself. What was I even thinking? I can’t believe that was me.

Not that it matters, in 4 hours I’m going to die anyway. Too bad, it’s over. There’s nothing left to do now. God, I’ll never see Saelith again. Rue will be waiting for me, will she cry for me? No, why would she? She’d be free, that’s good. Sister Maren, did you not see my death? Or is it because you saw it? Or do you just see me as the annoying one?

It took a moment for me to realize I hadn’t moved an inch. Closing my eyes, I let myself waste time, freeing my thoughts. It was peaceful, no more fights, no more arguments, after death nothing matters.

No, man, it’s not nice to leave this many unsolved mysteries. Why does Saelith even want a strong mate? Who is Rue? What is The Black Covenant plotting?

An evil cult doing experiments on hummer beetles with elvish DNA, trying to recreate an extinct species called the Lurewings? Sounds pretty interesting to me. I want to know what they’re trying to do with this. Do Lurewings have something in them they want? Powers? That would be the right direction to pursue.

Oh yeah, didn’t Seraphine say the beetle bitch is trying to revive her kind. Wait, that’s a really serious problem. This dungeon is right below The Greyclock Conservatory, if even one of her kind escapes the dungeon, it’s going to cause a lot of damage.

"No, that’s not right! We need to stop her–"

Standing up, reality hit me again, shutting me up for good. Four hours, Casllay at negative, a party I’d broken, no magic experience.

"Damn it."

Clenching my fist, hissing at myself, did nothing. Then it hit me. Five days, I’d had five days since I came into this world. And I’d lived every single one of them to the fullest, without any regret. That’s better than my entire previous life, if you ask me.

And I’m not letting this last day go to waste. Four hours or not, I’m not going to lie here like a loser. You can’t win against a person who has nothing to lose, especially not Mark Laplace.

Narcissistic? Egoistic? Prideful? I say you’re god damn right!

I got dressed in a hurry, mind locked on one thing, live the remaining 4 hours like you own the world. First, take responsibility, apologize to Seraphine.

Breathing out, I could faintly hear her crying from outside. It got louder as I walked past the burnt door frame, into the first room of the data hub.

Seraphine was sitting on the table, hand covering her crying face, which she clearly didn’t want anyone to see. Dr. Rhiannon rubbed her shoulder, worry never leaving her own face.

"Seraphine..."

They both noticed me. Seraphine reacted first, getting off the table, wiping her tears, swallowing hard.

"What are you looking at? Just leave and let me be. I’m not a fragile flower you need to fuss over. I’m way stronger than that."

Seraphine stepped closer, holding her chest with pride, but her trembling fingers gave her away. She purposely deepened her voice, but it didn’t quite land.

"I know all that, but–"

"You didn’t sound like you knew a moment ago!!"

I stepped forward with confidence but ignored hers. Dr. Rhiannon stepped in quietly, just in case I crossed a line again. I had no choice but to look away, even though she was showing signs of weakness, I genuinely couldn’t defend myself without talking about the system.

Wait, who said I have to tell her the entire thing?

"I need you to hear me out. It’s about my potion-making ability, I don’t actually make them myself. I can fabricate them–"

"What does that have to do with anything you did!?"

Seraphine stepped closer than she should have, in fury. Dr. Rhiannon grabbed her.

"Calm down. At least hear him out, Silver."

I was about to step back, she was in attack mode, tears still resting at the corners of her eyes. But I didn’t step back, and she caught that, it actually calmed her down a little.

"It does connect. I can fabricate potions using a mana pool made up of lust. And I can only gather lust mana by having sex. But the catch is, if I have sex with a dominant partner, I lose lust mana. So..."

I wanted to explain the rest, but the words didn’t come. Seraphine and Dr. Rhiannon were both shocked. Dr. Rhiannon stayed silent, since Seraphine can be unpredictable. Seraphine decided it wasn’t time to be angry, it was time to ask questions.

"Let’s say we believe it. Don’t tell me you were mad about your mana pool drying up? Something as silly as that, it can be restored, just have sex and—"

Seraphine was still only halfway calm. I opened my mouth, then closed it. My fault, for jumping in without thinking it through. I don’t think they’d understand if I tried to add more detail, and telling them about my lifespan would be pointless now.

"No. It can’t, actually. My mana pool is so dry now, I can’t fabricate any potions. It’s safe to say I’ve lost the ability."

Dr. Rhiannon let go of Seraphine, she didn’t need to hold her back anymore. Neither had anything to say, both showing concern for me, almost pity. Seraphine was fighting with her own thoughts, because she understood both sides now. Like me, but not as dumb as me.

And yes, I mixed a lie with the truth, I had no choice. Technically I can gain Casllay, but it’s pointless at this point. My dick has a limit.

"Still, though, you–"

"I know! I wanted to blame everything on you in that moment because I was having trouble accepting it. Which was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me."

I bowed mid-sentence and stayed down. Closing my eyes, I thought only one thing, this has to work.

"Rhiannon, go put your clothes on. Don’t roam around nude like a slut. I need to talk with Elias, give us some space."

Dr. Rhiannon realized she’d been taking the role of peaceful hero a little too seriously and had forgotten to put her clothes back on. Some heroes don’t wear clothes, I guess.

She covered her chest and lower half, hopping out of the room with a silly smile and a goofy walk.

I waited respectfully for Seraphine to start the conversation. She had her arms crossed, staring at me with concern, glancing at me then away, spiking my anxiety.

"It’s stupid. Tell me, everything you said after waking up, did you mean any of it?"

"No! I was just being the wrong person."

My voice came out higher than I intended, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She gave me the same silent treatment again, but this time it ended quickly.

"Tell me exactly what made me burst at you. You said two things, which one hurt more?"

Her voice was gentle, eyes on the floor, lips pursed in the middle. She wasn’t trying to be dominant here, and I got it, she wanted me to apologize specifically for the one thing that hurt her most, but which one was it?

"I guess it’s both, but I don’t know which one–"

"Of course you don’t know, idiot. How would you feel if you shared good sex with someone, then they told you they hated it and regretted it?"

"I would...."

Seraphine suddenly opened up, her expression and arms both, catching me off guard, but in the right way. Her eyebrows tired of never landing on an answer.

And yes, if I’d had sex with a woman and the next day she told me she hated it, I honestly wouldn’t give a fuck. But the past me definitely would have been hurt by it. And if Saelith said it, oh fuck, that would be horrible.

"I’m so sorry. I actually liked having sex with you. You were rough, sure. But it put my mind at ease. I didn’t need to make decisions, it was great, to be honest."

I said it with energy, determined, genuine this time, actually meaning every word instead of lying or pulling strings.

My reaction left her blushing, not radiant like Rue’s or Sister Maren’s, but something real. Seraphine bit her lip, hiding her blush, fists tight, hands straight, fidgeting in place.

"You really mean it? Say it one more time."

"Yes. I meant it. And sorry again."

Seraphine wasn’t just calm now, she was a completely different person. Blushing? Fidgeting like a child? Masculine and feminine at the same time? I didn’t know what I’d done to make her act this way.

Seraphine breathed out, stopped fidgeting, then pulled her braid forward and started fidgeting with that instead.

"So I need to tell you something. It might sound weird, coming from a combat trainer, but I want you to hear it."

"Okay, go ahead."

I swallowed.