Chapter 67: Sadie: Kisses And Bets (II)

SADIE

I expect him to answer quickly. You’re beautiful or you’re smart would do. They’re the generic things guys say when they’re attracted to a girl but haven’t spent much time thinking about who she is. I’d probably question whether he meant either one, but at least he’d have an answer.

A few seconds pass, then enough that I notice the silence in the apartment. He’s watching me, clearly thinking, but each second makes it harder to believe there’s anything to find. By the time nearly a minute has passed, I wish I’d kept the question to myself.

I scoff, though my throat hurts when I speak. "You can’t even name one thing about me."

"I was thinking," he says. "I wanted to tell you something that’s actually about you, not the same shit guys say to get into a girl’s pants."

"Yeah, right." I turn my face away, my fingers curling into my palms. I hate that I stood through all that silence expecting him to surprise me.

"Sadie—"

"I know this probably isn’t a big deal to you. Maybe you tell girls you like them all the time and it doesn’t mean much." I face him again. "Maybe I seem boring or old-school because I don’t move as fast as the girls you’re used to. And maybe you watched me chase your brother for years with nothing to show for it and decided I’d be an easy joke—"

"Sadie, stop." Trey comes a step closer. "I respect you. I’m not saying I’m in love with you but yeah, I like you, and I want to get to know you better. You won’t let me—"

"If you mean sex, then just tell me." My face warms, but I hold his gaze. "People hook up. Fine. You don’t have to say you like me or pretend we have some kind of connection just to make it sound better."

"That’s not what I want."

"Then prove it." My voice breaks, which is the last thing I wanted. "You say you like me, but you can’t give me one reason why? Wow. I’m really feeling the love, Mr. Trey Mercer. When you can answer that without standing there trying to think of something, maybe I’ll believe you. Until then, I’m not opening myself up to you."

I turn towards my room, but his hand closes around my wrist. My eyes drop to it, then lift to his face.

"Give me a second."

I don’t want another explanation that leaves me feeling worse. Still, I can’t make myself walk away while his hand is around my wrist and he’s trying this hard to speak.

"I’m shit with words, okay?" Trey says. His fingers loosen. "I was trying to be honest and somehow we ended up fighting about whether I’m a complete asshole. I don’t know how it came out, but I meant it. I’ve been trying to show you."

"Show me what?"

"That I want to be around you." He exhales. "I think what makes sense to me doesn’t always make sense to you, and I keep getting that wrong. So we take it slow. I’ll show you this isn’t a bet." His eyes stay on mine. "I wouldn’t do that to you, Sadie. But yeah, you don’t know me well enough to believe it yet."

His hand falls away from my wrist.

"But can you give me the chance to change that?" he asks. "Don’t shut me out before I do. And please, judge me without bringing Ezra into it every damn time."

I grind my teeth as I study him. He sounds sincere, and I want to believe him. But I’m still standing here hurt because I asked what he liked about me and he couldn’t answer. Giving him a chance won’t make that feeling disappear just because he’s finally found the right words to ask for one.

At the same time, nothing about him suggests he’d put himself through this argument for a hookup. Goddess, I wish I could get inside his head for one minute. Since I can’t, I’ll have to pay attention to what he does next.

"I can try to leave Ezra out of it," I tell him. "I can’t promise I’ll stop being careful overnight." I swallow. "Words don’t mean much to me anymore. Actions do. If you think you can keep showing up for me, then...okay. Try. Just know that people who aren’t sincere usually get tired of pretending."

"You hear how that sounds, right?" he asks. "You’re giving me a chance while telling me you expect me to fail. How am I supposed to show you who I am if you’ve already decided?" He shakes his head. "We both start with a clean slate."

"I haven’t decided you’ll fail." I take a breath. "I’m saying I need time to believe you won’t."

Trey watches me for a moment, then nods. "I can give you time."

"Okay. Clean slate, as far as I can manage." There’s one thing I want clear before either of us mistakes this for a casual arrangement. "While we figure this out, we’re exclusive. If you so much as kiss another girl, I’m out."

"Sadie, you’re the only girl I’m trying to kiss."

My stomach flutters despite all the rules I’ve just laid down. Can I really call that an overreaction when we’re standing in our living room agreeing to be exclusive? I keep wondering how we got here so quickly. I could go back over every conversation that led us to this point, but I’d only confuse myself again. Whatever Trey’s reasons are, I’ll find out soon enough.

I extend my hand.

He looks at my hand, then at me, his face scrunching up. "A handshake?"

"What? Did you want a hug?"

"Yes. That would’ve been a much more civilized response."

I pull my hand back, feeling a little ridiculous, and step forward to give him what he asked for. The doorbell rings before I reach him.

Trey holds back a growl. "You’ve got to be kidding me."

A second ring follows the first, then a third that starts the moment the last one ends. Whoever’s out there seems determined to keep a finger on the button until we answer. Trey crosses to the door, checks the camera, and opens it to Lola, who comes straight past him.

"For the love of the Goddess, Sadie, where is your phone?"

"Lola?" I stare at her. "I thought you were in Worcester."

"I was." Her laptop bag lands on the sofa, and she comes toward me. "I got a ride back at eleven just to find you. I’ve been calling the whole time. Have you seen what Dixie posted on Instagram?"