Chapter 161 - 0161: We Both Wanted It (r18+)

Chapter 161: Chapter 0161: We Both Wanted It (r18+)

Elena’s Point Of View

My body was still humming, every nerve ending alive, sensitive, as if Jaxx had rewired me from the inside out. My breath came in ragged gasps, my chest heaving as I sagged against him, my fingers digging into his shoulders like they were the only thing keeping me upright. I could feel the frantic beat of my own heart, hammering so hard I wondered if he could feel it too, pressed as close as we were.

His tongue traced my neck... licking, swiping, tracing a slow, deliberate path from the curve of my shoulder to the shell of my ear, before his teeth grazed my earlobe, sending a fresh wave of shivers down my spine.

I hated how easily he could do this to me, how a single touch could unravel weeks of carefully constructed resolve, weeks of telling myself I was stronger than this, than him.

God. The aftershocks of what he’d just done to me still pulsed through my veins, insistent, refusing to fade. The way he’d fucked me against the counter, the way he’d ruined me... shattered me, into a thousand trembling, needy pieces. I could still feel him inside me, still ache with the memory of his cock stretching me, filling me, owning me in ways I didn’t even know were possible.

Some distant, rational part of my brain tried to catalog what had just happened, tried to make sense of how a man I’d sworn to resist could reduce me to this, could turn every promise I’d made to myself to ash in the space of a single afternoon.

That part of my brain was losing badly, and some traitorous corner of me was almost glad of it.

But then... reality came crashing back.

Like a bucket of ice water, the weight of what we’d done... what I’d done, hit me hard. My fingers, still tangled in the fabric of his shirt, pushed against his chest, my palms pressing into the solid muscle beneath his skin, searching for some kind of leverage, some way to put distance between us before I lost myself completely.

Jaxx tilted his head, his dark, knowing eyes locking onto mine, unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world and intended to spend every second of it watching me unravel. That smirk... the one that made my stomach clench and my pulse race, played on his lips like he already knew what I was about to say.

I hated that he could read me so easily, that years of guarding myself, of building walls brick by careful brick, meant nothing against him.

"Jaxx..." My voice was unsteady, my throat tight, the words scratching their way out. "I have to leave."

His grip on my waist tightened, his fingers digging into my skin like he was trying to anchor me to him, to keep me from slipping away, from retreating back into the safety of denial. "Why?" His voice dropped low and rough, that dark edge to it making my stomach flip and my thighs press together. Traitorous body.

I swallowed hard, forcing the words out, each one heavier than the last. "This... this was a mistake, Jaxx. I have to go."

His smirk deepened, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip, his gaze burning into me like he could see straight through my lies, past the flimsy excuse I was offering, down to the truth I didn’t want to admit even to myself. "Really? A mistake?" His voice dropped, dark and teasing, his breath hot against my ear as his fingers trailed down my spine, slow and deliberate, making my skin prickle with awareness. "You never said that when I was fucking you against the counter minutes ago."

His fingers paused at the small of my back, pressing me closer, his body caging me in, a warm, immovable wall I had no desire to escape. "And now it’s suddenly a mistake?"

His smirk vanished, replaced by a look so intense, so possessive, it stole the breath from my lungs. His thumb brushed over my bottom lip again, his gaze burning into me like he could see straight through the lies I was trying to feed myself. "Nothing about this is a mistake, Bambina," he growled, his voice a dark, velvet command that made my skin prickle. "You came to me. You wanted i... I wanted it."

His hand slid up, his fingers tangling in my hair, pulling just enough to make my breath hitch. "We both wanted it. So stop lying to yourself."

My breath caught, my body betraying me as heat pooled between my thighs. Damn him. He was right, and that was the worst part. Every word out of his mouth was a truth I couldn’t deny, no matter how desperately I wanted to. But the fear... the uncertainty, it still gnawed at me, a knot in my stomach that no amount of pleasure could untangle.

What would people say? What would this make me? A woman who couldn’t keep a single promise to herself, apparently. A woman who’d let one man’s hands undo everything she’d worked so hard to hold together.

"Jaxx..." My voice was a whisper, a plea, my fingers curling into fists against his chest. "I can’t... we can’t..."

His grip tightened, his voice a dark, possessive growl. "You can’t what, Princess?" His thumb brushed over my nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt, making a gasp tear from my throat, my body arching into his touch despite myself. The pleasure was maddening, a fire licking at my skin, burning away whatever protest I’d been trying to form. "You can’t tell me you didn’t want this."

His lips found my neck again, his teeth grazing my pulse point, sending a jolt of heat straight to my core. "That you didn’t beg for it." His hand slid lower, his fingers teasing the hem of his shirt, dipping beneath to trace the sensitive skin of my thigh. "That you didn’t come apart on my cock like you were made for it?"

I whimpered, my body betraying me, my thighs pressing together as wetness pooled between them. No. I couldn’t let him see how much he affected me. Couldn’t let him win.

But God, it was hard to resist when he touched me like this, when his voice wrapped around me like a dark caress, stripping away every argument I tried to build, leaving me with nothing but the truth of how badly I wanted him.

My breath hitched, heat pooling between my thighs despite my best efforts to ignore it. Damn him. "Jaxx... stop talking like that."

He chuckled, dark and low, the sound vibrating against my skin. His grip on my waist was unyielding, his arms like iron bars, his body a wall of heat and muscle that I couldn’t escape even if some small, sane part of me wanted to.

His scent... leather and spice and sex, invaded my senses, clouding my thoughts, making it impossible to breathe, to think, to remember why I’d wanted to leave in the first place.

"Like what, Bambina?" His voice dropped to a dark purr, his lips brushing my ear, his breath sending a shiver down my spine. "Tell me, because I’m a little bit confused." His hand slid up, his thumb circling my nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt, a gasp escaping me as my body arched into his touch despite myself. "Were you faking those moans? Those screams?"

His teeth grazed my pulse point, sending a jolt of heat straight to my core. "Were you pretending to come apart on my cock like you were made for it?"

I whimpered again, my body betraying me, my thighs pressing together as wetness pooled between them. No. I couldn’t let him see how much he affected me, even though some part of me suspected the battle was already lost, had been lost from the moment I’d walked into this room. "Jaxx, please..."

"Please what?" His voice was a dark taunt, his hand sliding down to grip my thigh, his fingers inching beneath the hem of his shirt, teasing the sensitive skin there. The callouses on his fingers scraped against my skin, sending another shiver through me. "Please stop?" His lips found my neck again, his tongue swiping over my pulse point, making my knees weak. "Or please fuck you again?"

My breath came in sharp, broken gasps, my mind spinning, my body aching with a need I couldn’t, and wouldn’t admit. "I... I can’t do this."

Jaxx’s chuckle was dark, knowing, his lips brushing my ear as his fingers found my clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that made my hips jerk against his touch. "Oh, Bambina..." His voice was a dark promise, his breath hot against my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. "You already are."

His words sent a jolt of heat straight to my core, my body betraying me, my thighs pressing together as wetness pooled between them. But then, his voice dropped, darker, more dangerous. "Or are you going back to him?" His fingers stilled, his grip on my waist tightening, his gaze burning into me like he could see the truth I was trying to hide. "Have you suddenly developed a sense of marital honesty, and you’re going back to Graham?"

The name landed like a slap, and for a moment neither of us moved. The silence stretched, brittle and sharp, and I felt something in my chest twist painfully at the sound of that name spoken in this room, in this moment, tangled up with everything Jaxx had just given me.

I shoved against his chest, my voice firm despite the way my body trembled beneath his touch. "Of course not." My breath hitched as his fingers started moving again, slow and teasing. "I’m done with him. With all of it." I swallowed, my throat dry, my heart pounding. "It’s just... this needs to be official."

His grip on me tightened, his voice a dark growl. "Then what are you saying, Princess?" His fingers pressed harder against my clit, making my breath catch, my body arching into his touch. The pleasure was overwhelming, but so was the frustration... the way he could reduce me to this, to a trembling, needy mess with just a touch, while I still struggled to find words that made any sense.

"Explain to me why we are here, standing and talking," his voice dropped, dark and mocking, "when we should be in bed, with your face in the pillow, ass up, and me fucking you from that perfect behind of yours?"

A gasp tore from my lips, my face flushing with heat, my body aching at the image his words painted. God. Why did he have to say things like that? Why did it have to sound so good? So right, when every rational thought told me it should feel wrong?

"Jaxx... please... stop saying that."

His chuckle was dark, his lips brushing my neck as his fingers continued their relentless assault on my clit. "What, baby?" His voice was a dark purr, his breath hot against my skin. "Why are you leaving?" His fingers stilled again, his grip on my waist tightening as he pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. The intensity in his gaze made my heart race, my breath catch. "If it’s reasonable enough, I’ll let you go."

His lips found my neck again, his tongue swiping over my pulse point, sending a jolt of heat through me. "But if it’s not..." His fingers started moving again, rubbing my clit in slow, deliberate circles, his voice a dark growl against my skin. "Then I’m carrying you to bed, and picking up from where we stopped."

My breath hitched, my body trembling, my mind spinning as his words sent a wave of heat crashing over me. Fuck. He was impossible. Infuriating. Irresistible. And somewhere beneath the haze of pleasure, a small voice whispered that maybe that was exactly why I couldn’t stay away from him, why every attempt to resist him only seemed to draw me deeper in.

"Jaxx..." His name was a whisper on my lips, a plea, a prayer. I wanted to leave. I should leave. But my body... traitorous, needy, ached for him, craved him, begged for him in ways I couldn’t ignore, in ways that terrified me more than anything Graham had ever done. Graham had never once made me feel like this - seen, wanted, undone in the best possible way.

His hand slid up, his fingers tangling in my hair, pulling my head back just enough to expose my throat. His lips found the sensitive skin there, his teeth grazing, his breath hot. "Tell me, Princess," he murmured, his fingers pressing harder against my clit, making my hips jerk against his touch, his voice a dark promise. "Do you really want to leave?" His voice dropped to a dark whisper, his breath hot against my skin. "Or do you want me to fuck you until you can’t remember your own name?"

I whimpered, my body trembling, my mind spinning. The truth was a knot in my throat, a fire in my veins. I should leave. I should walk away. But the way he touched me, the way he looked at me... like I was the only thing in the world that mattered, it made it impossible to think, to breathe, to resist.

No one had ever looked at me like that. Not once, in all the years I’d spent trying to be enough for someone else, trying to shrink myself into a shape that would earn me love instead of just being loved for who I already was.

His other hand slid down, his fingers teasing my entrance, dipping inside just enough to draw a gasp from me, my walls clenching around him. "You’re soaked, baby," he growled, his voice rough with need. "So fucking wet for me." His fingers pumped in and out, slow and deliberate, his thumb circling my clit in tight, punishing circles. "You want this. You want me. So stop lying to yourself."

I moaned, my head falling back against his shoulder, my body arching into his touch. God. He was right. I did want him. Wanted this. Wanted more than I’d ever allowed myself to want anything. But the fear... the uncertainty, it still gnawed at me, a shadow at the edges of my pleasure, whispering all the reasons this could go wrong, all the ways I could lose myself entirely to a man who could break me as easily as he could remake me.

"Jaxx..." My voice was a whisper, a plea, my body trembling as his fingers worked me, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. "I... I can’t..."

"Can’t what?" His voice was a dark taunt, his lips brushing my ear, his fingers relentless. "Can’t admit you want me?" His thumb pressed harder against my clit, making my hips buck, my breath hitch. "Can’t admit you’re mine?"

I whimpered, my body betraying me, my walls clenching around his fingers, my pleasure building to an unbearable peak. The tension was too much, the need too strong. I was drowning in him, in the sensation, in the truth I couldn’t escape no matter how hard I tried.

"Jaxx... please..."

"Please what?" His voice was a dark growl, his fingers pumping in and out of me, his thumb rubbing my clit in tight, punishing circles. "Please stop?" His lips found my neck again, his teeth grazing my pulse point, his breath hot against my skin. "Or please fuck you until you scream?"

I cried out, my body shuddering, my orgasm crashing over me like a wave, my walls pulsing around his fingers, my pleasure consuming me entirely. Fuck. I couldn’t fight it anymore.

The truth was right there, burning in my chest, undeniable. I wanted him. Needed him. And I was tired of lying to myself, of pretending I was the kind of woman who could walk away from this, from him.

His fingers slid out of me, his grip on my waist tightening as he turned me in his arms, his eyes locked on mine. The hunger in his gaze made my heart race, my breath catch. The air between us was electric, charged with a tension that made my skin prickle, that made the rest of the world fall away until there was nothing but him, his eyes, the promise written across his face.

"Last chance, Princess," he growled, his voice dark, possessive, his lips brushing mine, his breath hot. "Tell me to stop." His promise hung in the air between us, heavy, irresistible. "Or shut the fuck up and let me ruin you all over again."

My lips parted, my breath coming in sharp, ragged gasps. The truth was right there, on the tip of my tongue. I should stop him. I should walk away. I should remember all the reasons I’d told myself this couldn’t happen again, all the careful arguments I’d built brick by brick over the past weeks.

But God... I didn’t want to. Not even a little.

I reached up, my fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, my voice a whisper, a surrender. "Ruin me, Jaxx..." I breathed, my lips brushing his. "Please..."

His grin was dark, triumphant, his eyes burning with possessive fire. "That’s my good girl," he growled, his voice a dark promise as his hands slid down to grip my ass, lifting me effortlessly, as if I weighed nothing at all. "Now wrap your legs around me, Princess..." His voice dropped into a dark command, his lips brushing mine. "Because I’m not done with you yet."